The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, November 2, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 94

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . the Full Faith Church will have a parking lot sale to benefit Downtown Food Pantry Sat. Nov.6 beginning at 8 a.m. 736 E. Fairview.

Did Ya Know?.. . The Carthage Junior High band will have a chili supper and Silent Auction to raise funds for uniforms Mon. Nov. 8 at 5 p.m. at Fairview Christian Church.

today's laugh

A blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a vicar, a priest, a rabbi, two giraffes and a duck, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, an IRS agent, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinese, an Irishman, an Englishman, a Scotsman and a redneck walk into a bar.

The barman says: "What is this, some kind of joke?


WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."

WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it."

WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."

CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"

WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I’ll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"

The customer, triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Two-Year-Old Dimple Dreamer has Her

Face and Mouth Badly Burned.

Little Dimple Dreamer, the two-year-old daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Dreamer who live on North Main street opposite the woolen mill, had her mouth and face badly burned by drinking from a can of lye last Saturday. She is now better but suffered great pain Saturday and Sunday.

The Dreamer family went to Joplin Friday to visit a family where, as there were no children, dangerous things were not put out of reach of meddlesome little hands, so Dimple Dreamer soon got into trouble.

A Joplin doctor was called and administered relief but the child’s lips were eaten away until they bled profusely. The Dreamer family who had intended to stay over Sunday came home Saturday and subsequent medical aid here has put the child at ease, but it will be some time before she fully recovers.

  Today's Feature

Chamber Annual Banquet

Awards Nominations

The 2011 Chamber Annual Banquet will be held on Friday, January 21. Each year the Chamber recognizes outstanding businesses and individuals within our business community. You, our members, nominate those who have excelled. Your Chamber is currently accepting nominations for the following awards:

Golden Key Awards (forms at the Chamber)

Spotlight Award (submit by mail or email)

Small Business of the Year (submit by mail or email)

Richard M. Webster Citizen of the Year Award (submit by mail or email)

Mail nominations to Carthage Chamber, Attn: Mary Jo, 402 S. Garrison, Carthage, MO 64836. E-mail nominations to

The Chamber also reminds everyone to "watch for Christmas Open House flyers in participating retailer windows and plan to join the fun - shop locally and save."

Just Jake Talkin'

No matter what the rhetoric, folks are always interested in keepin’ a decent neighborhood. That’s understandable ‘cause that’s where they live.

The fact is most folks take pride in their home and their neighborhood. They live in a community to have a sense of security and convenience.

There is a trade off of course. By livin’ outside of the city limits, a person doesn’t have ta worry much ‘bout what the neighbors do or think.

Livin’ in a community requires some of those freedoms enjoyed in the country to be curtailed. No chickens, no hog pens, keepin’ grass at a reasonable length, lettin’ neighbors sleep at night.

But, "Ya can’t pass a law ta make someone care, " said one citizen recently.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing Services

Weekly Columns

Triglycerides Can Clog Arteries


DEAR DR. DONOHUE: What are triglycerides? What do they do to you? I am a 55-year-old male in good health, or so I thought. My lab tests have shown I have elevated triglycerides. My doctor believes I need to make funeral arrangements. He told me to cut down on fats. I have never eaten much fat. I don’t use butter. How do I get my level down? -- R.F.


ANSWER: Triglycerides are fats. The marbling in meat and the stuff that surrounds a cut of meat are triglycerides. In the blood, they are not solids. They’re a source of energy for body cells. Excess amounts are stored as fat.

Cholesterol gets all the blame for clogging heart arteries and causing heart attacks. But triglycerides bear part of the blame. A very high blood triglyceride level inflames the pancreas -- pancreatitis. That happens, but is a somewhat rare event compared with other causes of pancreatitis.

The normal triglyceride reading should be less than 150 mg/dL (1.7 mmol/L). Values between 150 and 199 (1.7 to 2.2) are considered borderline high. Anything above 500 (5.6) is very high.

Weight reduction almost always brings down triglycerides. Fatty foods, fatty meats and fried foods should be eaten sparingly. Surprisingly, sugar raises triglycerides, as does immoderate alcohol drinking. Omega-3 fatty acids lower them. Fish -- a good source of omega-3 fatty acids -- therefore, ought to be a major part of two weekly meals. If you don’t like the taste of fish, you can take omega-3 in pills.

I know people must cringe when they hear exercise mentioned, as it appears to be a panacea for every ill. A half-hour of brisk walking on most days of the week reliably lowers triglycerides. You can start more modestly, and work your way to the 30-minute goal.

If none of these lowers your triglycerides, medicines can. Lopid, Tricor and niacin are three reliable drugs.

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