Youve all heard of the Air Forces
ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known
simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force
folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna
landing at their "secret" base.
The pilots story was that he got
lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run
out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background
check on the pilot and held him overnight during the
The next day, they were convinced the
pilot wasnt a spy. They gassed up his plane, gave
him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base"
briefing, and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of
the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. The
MPs surrounded the plane only this time two people
were in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said,
"Do anything you want to me, but my wife is here and
you have to tell her where I was last night!"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
More Wind Damage.
The hard wind this morning did more or
less damage. A big wooden sign on the Grant street side
of the Central National bank building was torn loose and
blown down onto the sidewalk.
A glass door was blown in at the Lyon
street entrance to the bed spring factory.
The upright glass case in front of the
Jumbo store was blown down onto the pavement and smashed
into smithereens this morning.
Sergeant James Ross gave a dinner last
night to some of his associate militia officers in the
Light Guard. Games and music were enjoyed. Those present
were: Capt. Ed Hiatt, Lieut. Tom Gilbreath, Lieut. John
Henkel, Sergt. Walter Woodford, Sergt. Homer Bailey,
Sergt. Chas. Howell, Corporal Oscar Emerson, Private
Jr. High Band to host a "Chili Event."
The Carthage Jr. High Band is
hosting a Chili Supper and Silent Auction ,
Monday, November 8th beginning at 5:00 pm. at the
Fairview Christian Church located at 2320 Grand
in Carthage. The Supper features all-you-can-eat
chili with all the trimmings, a beverage and
desert for just $6.00 for adults, $5.00 for kids
6 to 11 years; kids 5 and under eat free. Chili
for lunch instead of dinner is an option. Call
Claire Shores at 388-3068 or Terri Dawald at
629-2215 for chili delivery options!
Along with the chili, supper
guests can enjoy live music and entertainment
provided by the Carthage Jr. High 7th & 8th
Grade Bands, 8th Grade Color Guard, Ovation Dance
Studio, and a special performance by the Accord
String Quartet from Springfield.
A silent auction showcase
several vacation packages. One is from The
Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. It
features a getaway package that includes one
night in the hotel along with tickets to the
Passion Play, the Queen Anne Museum as well as
NASCAR THIS WEEK
House" Trumps the Oscars
MARTINSVILLE, Va. -- Nothing
wrong with NASCAR cant be fixed by a race
at Martinsville Speedway.
Some people are going to
disagree. Theyre the ones who think every
race should be in some place like Las Vegas.
Theyre the ones who believed Gillian
Zucker, president of Auto Club Speedway, when she
claimed that she couldnt draw a crowd in
February because of -- get this! -- the Academy
As if there were fans saying,
"Id love to see that race, but I just
cant leave without knowing if Hurt
Locker won the Oscar."
Who can give it up for Jimmie
Johnson when Dame Judi Dench is on the tube?
Some of those fans watched the
Tums Fast Relief 500 on television -- and
probably had a jolly good time making stupid
jokes about its title -- and the wonders of
Martinsville probably seemed elusive.
Something about television
makes race cars look slower. Martinsville can
look like a Homecoming Parade in fast-forward.
Specifically, it can look like the Homecoming
Parade in "Animal House," complete with
calls for "ramming speed" and an
abundance of profanity among the participants.
Do not judge Martinsville if
youve never been there.
On TV, it also looks a great
deal like bumper cars at the county fair. Up
close -- and by that, I mean, in the lower rows
of the grandstands, squinting at cars flashing by
and trying to keep dust, grime and oil out of the
eyes -- it looks as if all the cars were
constructed by NASA, not organizations with names
like Furniture Row Racing.
Its more fun than a
barrel of monkeys.
At the end, unflappable guys
like Jeff Burton are ... flappable. Being a race
driver, Burton sometimes seems embarrassed by the
perception that he has good sense. Maniacs are
more the norm in the circus to which he ran away
many years ago. After Burtons teammate,
Kevin Harvick, got mad at him, Burtons
first reaction was to defend himself ("There
is nothing I did that I regret, and there is
nothing I wont do next week.") and his
second was to take mild offense that he acted
like everyone else.
I see all the other media
types are busy analyzin the results of
the election last Tuesday. The fact is the
Its like tryin
to second guess a car wreck. If theyd
only been drivin a mile an hour slower
they wouldnt a been at that particular
spot at that particular time. Doesnt
change the outcome any.
The voters voted the way
they did cause at this particular time
they felt that was what was best. Maybe next
year itll be different, maybe
thats just the way it is.
I suppose elections draw
attention partly cause nobody ever
knows the outcome fore the votes are
counted. No way to predict with any accuracy.
Course its always easy to say I
told you so after the fact, so talk it up.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband always gets mad
because I immediately crank the ignition of our
2005 Honda Element. He tells me that I should
wait a few seconds and listen for the fuel pump
to fill. Is this true, or is he just
micromanaging my driving? - Annette
Tom: Hes just being his
usual pain in the tochus, Annette.
Ray: When you turn the key to
the "run" position, the fuel pump is
energized, and it provides full pressure to the
injectors within a second, Id say.
Tom: I guess he thinks
its better to wait a few seconds and make
absolutely certain that the injectors are all
fully pressurized, so that when you turn the key
to the crank position, the engine will fire up
Tom: Right. He thinks
thats preferable. So instead of cranking
for half a second, the engine cranks for only a
quarter of a second, and you save a little bit of
wear and tear on your battery and starter.
Ray: But I disagree. Im
more concerned about the internal engine
components than with the battery or starter.
Lets say, just for the sake of argument,
that you dont have enough fuel pressure,
and the engine has to crank a few more times
before it actually catches. I think thats a
Tom: Well, it has a beneficial
Ray: Right - allowing the
engine to crank for a few seconds gives the oil
pump time to circulate the oil while the engine
is turning slowly, before it starts running at
Tom: Hes not only
micromanaging, hes micromanaging
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