| today's
laugh Judi walks into the library, looks around, then
gets in line for the counter.
Once she gets to the head of the line,
she loudly says, "I’d like a Big Mac, large
fries, and a large Coke."
The librarian looks at her for a
moment. Then whispers to Judi, "Ma’am, this is
the library."
Judi nods.
Then she "whispers",
"I’d like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large
Coke...."
Q: How many Microsoft technicians does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and
one to screw the bulb into the faucet.
Q: How many brewers does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: One-third less than for a regular
bulb.
Q: How many feminists does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: That’s not funny!
1910
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Olive Street
Ditch.
Councilmen Brinkley and Block said that
they had no written report to make as to the Olive street
ditch but would state that they had examined into the
matter carefully and talked with many residents along the
street. The complaint seems to be from the west end. The
ditch is was found is constantly carrying some waste
water from livery stables, and at the west end is the
receptacle for roasting ear cobs and shucks, potato
parings and other kitchen refuse. Of all that goes into
this ditch that from the laundry is the least objectable
was the verdict of the committee. It might be out of
order for anything to go into the ditch, but what the
laundry puts in should not be the first thing to complain
of. The water from the laundry is a benefit to the ditch
from one standpoint as it flushes it every day. With this
the subject of the much discussed Olive street gutter was
dropped finally.
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Today's Feature Morgan
Sneed Crowned
Maple Leaf
Queen.
Morgan Sneed, a Carthage High
School sophomore, was crowned 2010 Maple Leaf
Festival Queen Saturday evening at the pageant
held at the Carthage R-9 auditorium. Morgan, the
daughter of Richard & Andrea Sneed, plans to
attend University of Missouri-Kansas City to
study Diagnostic Medicine after graduation.
Savannah Scott, a Carthage High
School senior, won the title of first runner-up.
Savannah is the daughter of Vince & Kristi
Scott and plans to attend Kansas University with
a dual major in Dance and Business next year.
Mickenzie Brock, a Carthage
High School sophomore, was chosen second
runner-up. Mickenzie is the daughter of Michele
& Jeremy Sacksteder and Jim Brock. She plans
to attend Missouri Southern State University as a
Pre-Med student after graduation.
Allison Peterson was crowned
Maple Leaf Princess in the pageant for 5th thru
8th graders. Allison is the daughter of Mark
& Shannon Peterson.
Lauren Addison Haws was crowned
Maple Leaf Jr. Miss in the pageant for
kindergarten thru 4th graders. Lauren is the
daughter of Kelly & Melissa Haws.
Maple Leaf Little Mister
Jedediah Fewin is the 3-yr-old son of Kyle &
Angie Fewin. Maple Leaf Little Miss Juliana
Allison Vera Haws is the 4-yr-old daughter of
Kelly & Melissa Haws.
All Maple Leaf Festival Royalty
will be featured in the Maple Leaf Parade.
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’ve never figured out
folks who complain about a tv show, and then
commence to tell you all the details of why.
It usually becomes apparent that they
regularly tune in to the program.
There are plenty of tv
shows that I don’t like, I don’t
watch ‘em.
Back when there were only
three networks and we could only get decent
reception on two of ‘em, I wasn’t
near so picky. ‘Course I was just a kid
too. Didn’t know no better. (or Mom was
in control of the room.)
Fact is, now I can find an
endless number of tv shows I don’t wanna
watch. The fact that I can determine in three
seconds whether or not I’m interested
sometimes annoyin’ to others in the room
who don’t have a remote however.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Columns
HERE’S A
TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• If you are whipping
fresh cream, make sure you chill bowls, beaters
and cream before starting. Get them good and
cold. It will give the best results.
• This is a great recipe
for deer repellent: Mix up hot peppers, garlic
cloves, liquid soap and water. Spray your plants
with the mixture. It will not hurt the plants,
but it will keep the deer (and other animals)
from eating them.
• "Slow cookers make
great servers for hot cider and also hot
chocolate. You can keep them on warm for as long
as you like, and there’s no need to reheat
-- it’s always the right temperature."
-- C.B. in Minnesota
• Here’s a great
idea: When you clean out your fish tank, use the
water in your garden. Pour it on your plants or
put in a watering can and use a little on each of
your houseplants.
• Store sour-cream and
cottage-cheese containers upside-down. The
contents will keep longer. This also works for
larger yogurt containers.
• Plastic grocery bags
always come in handy. Store them in empty tissue
boxes for the car or bathroom, or use an empty
12-pack soda box to store even more under your
kitchen sink or in the garage.
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