After a long day on the course, the exasperated
golfer turned to his caddy and said, "You must be
the absolute worst caddy in the world!"
"No, I dont think so,"
said the caddy. "That would be too much of a
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I need to get some
information from you. First, is this your correct phone
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a dress code?
Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft
Caller: How about clothes?
Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
U.S. Indian Appraiser
Hon. J. W. Kitzmiller, who has been for
a year U.S. appraiser for the Chicasaw and Choctaw
nations in Indian Territory, was in town yesterday all
day, on his way home to Medora, Ill.
He has mining interests in this county
and has a number of friends here. He has resigned his
position in the territory and is succeeded by Senator
Monaham of Chicago.
Said he to a reporter:
"During the past year I have
ridden 7,000 miles on mule-back and hadnt slept
under a roof since February until I started home this
week. That life under a tent is a great one, and I was
never in healthier condition.
"I like it, but I cant take
my family into such a country and I dont like to
continue to live away from them. So I resigned and am on
my way home."
News release -The
Carthage Convention & Visitors Bureau is
encouraging the community to give a tree-mendous
gift to the city this fall by purchasing trees,
tulips and daffodils through their third annual
campaign, "The Great Carthage Re-Leaf."
The campaign encourages
residents and friends of the community to
purchase landscaping products to replace those
lost through the natural devastation of the ice
and high wind storms from the past years. These
trees and bulbs may be planted near their homes,
businesses, or donated in-kind to the city to
replace items lost throughout the citys
parks. CVB Director Wendi Douglas says, "It
is a very natural choice in fundraising for the
CVB. Carthage has been voted the Southwest
Regions Beautiful Town and a great part of
that decision is made based on our atmosphere. It
is a great way for the community to renew their
lost landscaping and promote a beautiful
This year the CVB has added
tulips and daffodils to the items available for
purchase. Bulbs can be purchased in amounts of 50
or 100. For more information call 417.359.8181.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By Monte Dutton
Hamlin Is Top Gun
RICHMOND, Va. -- Contrary to
popular belief, the Chase for the Sprint Cup did,
in fact, change during the Air Guard 400.
Not the composition. The order.
Denny Hamlin, by winning at
Richmond International Raceway, nailed down the
top seed. By virtue of 60 bonus points, 10 for
each of his victories to date, Hamlin will begin
the Chase with 5,060 points, 10 more than the
winner of the past four championships, Jimmie
Ten points are insignificant
over the span of the 10-race Chase. For that
matter, Hamlins 60-point edge over the five
winless Chase drivers is relatively small.
But, noted Hamlin, its
something. He said winning six races, more than
anyone else this season, was proof his
teams quality and evidence that it would
contend for the championship.
But, he added, "Your
momentum ends as soon as you go to the next race
track, as far as Im concerned."
Hamlin, 29, has made the Chase
in each of his five full seasons. His latest
victory was the 14th of his career. His previous
Chase finishes, beginning in 2006, were third,
12th, eighth and fifth.
"Ive made a lot of
these Chases and made a lot of mistakes through
these Chases," he said. "Every year I
feel like we learn something. I feel like this
year Im as clear as Ive ever been and
were winning at race tracks where we
dont usually win."
Kevin Harvick won the
regular-season point race by a wide (228-point)
margin, but that means little once the Chase
begins on Sunday at New Hampshire Motor Speedway.
Harvick has won three races to date, meaning that
he opens the Chase trailing Hamlin by 30.
The Chase qualifiers, with
points as reconfigured, are Hamlin (5,060),
Johnson (5,050), Harvick (5,030), Kyle Busch
(5,030), Kurt Busch (5,020), Tony Stewart
(5,010), Greg Biffle (5,010), Jeff Gordon
(5,000), Carl Edwards (5,000), Jeff Burton
(5,000), Matt Kenseth (5,000) and Clint Bowyer
Four drivers who won races --
Jamie McMurray (2), Ryan Newman, Juan Pablo
Montoya and David Reutimann -- failed to qualify
for the Chase.
I heard talk about a guy
that was one brick short of a load the other
day. Id have ta figure that most get
the feelin they dont know all
they should at some point or another.
Id lived a lotta years fore I
heard the expression "not the sharpest
knife in the drawer."
I grew up hearin
bout those bein one card short of
a deck, ladder not reachin the top
rung, and bein a half a bubble off.
Typically these were not
judgemental statements, but just observations
considered as fact.
Course usually the
statement was followed by the observation
that the person had many admirable traits
Im sure Ive
lost a brick or two along the way. If ya find
it, put it on your pile, if ya think
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
My wife has a 1994 Toyota Camry
with a very loud exhaust. I figured there has to
be a hole somewhere causing this. So, when I got
home today, I started her car and could tell that
the noisewas coming from the front. As soon as I
looked underneath, I could see hole. It is well
before the manifold, in plain view, and is
located on the pipe. But its not a rust
hole or a crack; it looks like a hole that was
intenitonally put there. Then I immediately
noticed, hanging right next to it, a small tube
that looks like an exact fit for the hole. It is
obvious that this tupe is supposed to be
connected to this pipe. What is it, and is it an
easy fix? - Jeff
Ray: Boy, youre really
taxing the old brain cells by asking us to
remember what the exhaust pipe on a 94
Camry looks like. Sure you dont want toquiz
us on the Second Italo-Abyssinian War instead?
Tom: I think that hole was some
kind of test port.
Ray: I think my brothers
right. A lot of cars from that era had a tube in
the engine compartment that plugged right into
the exhaust pipe, before the catalytic converter.
It allowed the mechanic to stick a probe into the
tube and anylyze the pre-converter exhaust.
Tom: Then he could compare that
reading with the exhaust coming out the tailpipe
- on the other side of the converter - and see
how well the converter was working.
Ray: But that tube has now
rusted off. Since you really dont need the
tube anymore, just have someone weld or braze the
hole shut. Dont spend a lot of money in
repairs, chances are theres a lot more rust
where that came from.
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