The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, September, 30, 2010 Volume XIX, Number 72

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. . Carthage Farmers Market every Wed. and Sat starting at 7 a.m.

Did Ya Know?.. . The Jasper County Youth Poultry/Rabbit show will be Sat. Oct. 2 at the Fairgrounds. All youth 21 and under. Fundraiser for cages. Cindy 620-202-2823

today's laugh

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. The only way to move things was by carrying or dragging. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work. The guys were getting tired just WATCHING.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had an idea. They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.


Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds? Anyone who stops spending just because he’s out of money doesn’t belong in Washington anyway!


A cantor brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."

There is a hushed and awed silence in the room. Suddenly, from the back, the voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Guy Farwell Accidentally Shot.

Guy G. Farwell is laid up by a flesh wound in his left leg below the knee, caused by a pistol shot fired by a man named Roy Daniels, who is in the employ of Dr. Balsley.

Mr. Farwell resides just south of Dr. Balsley, and last evening Mr. Daniels was in the rear yard practicing with a pistol, shooting at a mark, when one of the bullets penetrated Mr. Farwell’s barn, where he was standing and hit him on the calf of the leg, passing clear through without striking a bone. No serious results are anticipated unless blood poisoning should set in.

Good Eastern Star Meeting.

The Eastern Star lodge held a special meeting last evening and initiated Miss Bradley. A large number of lodge members were out and at the close of the meeting ice cream and cake were served, which were much enjoyed by all.

  Today's Feature

Seasonal Flu and Pneumonia

Immunization Clinic.


The Jasper County Health Department has scheduled a seasonal flu and pneumonia immunization clinic for Tuesday October 12, 2010 from 9:00 -11:00 AM and 1:00-3:00 PM. The clinic is for all residents of Jasper County, excluding those within the city limits of Joplin.

Influenza vaccine is available for children ages 6 months to 18 years old and for adults.

The Department does no have seasonal flu vaccine available for pregnant women.

Those that have Medicaid (Missouri Health Net) or Medicare part B should bring their cards to their appointment.

The Department will not bill Medicare part D or any supplement policies (i.e. Humana, AARP, etc.) for vaccination.

The cost of the flu vaccine is $15.00 and the pneumonia vaccine is $55.00.

Call the Jasper County Health Department at (417) 358-3111 or toll-free 877-879-9131 to schedule an appointment.



By Monte Dutton

Don’t Count Edwards Out

Carl Edwards, who won nine races in 2008, hasn’t won any since.

Yet Edwards, who was runner-up to Jimmie Johnson in the 2008 Chase for the Sprint Cup, is back in it this year and actually accumulated more points in the final 10 races of the regular season than any other driver.

Consistency has become Edwards’ key.

A 10th-place finish in the Sylvania 300 at New Hampshire Motor Speedway left Edwards, 31, in ninth place in the Sprint Cup standings, 95 points behind leader Denny Hamlin.

Edwards, of Columbia, Mo., felt good to put New Hampshire -- and a decent finish -- behind him.

"Everyone knows that the meat of the Chase is mile-and-a-half tracks like Kansas and California," he said. "You definitely want to get a good start, but I don’t think anyone can set the tone of the Chase here (New Hampshire), just because it’s kind of a unique track."

The challenge, of course, is beating Jimmie Johnson, who has won the past four championships.

"I think that we have proven ... that we can score more points than anyone in the series, and that’s what it is going to take," said Edwards. "Jimmie (Johnson) did a good job ... of explaining that you have to have something to hang your hat on. You either have to have wins or you have to be very consistent. You have to have some sort of thing to build your team around.

"We are building our hopes on the fact that we have shown, over an extended period, that we can score better average finishes than everyone else. Now we just have to go do that. That’s what I am counting on: the ability to go do that."

Edwards has spent his entire Sprint Cup career driving Roush Fenway Racing’s No. 99 Ford. In 2005, his first full season, he wound up third in the Chase behind that year’s champion, Tony Stewart, and Edwards’ teammate, Greg Biffle.

Consistency is a recent addition to Edwards’ repertoire. All 16 of his Cup victories have taken place in three seasons -- 2005, 2007 and 2008 -- but he has qualified for the Chase in five of his six full seasons.

Edwards won the Nationwide Series championship in 2007.

Just Jake Talkin'


The big scoop on the Square for the last couple a days is the need for better solid waste management. This is not the old rest room discussion, but one most folks don’t want to step in.

It is common practice for tourists and locals to let their pets avail themselves to the only turf on the square when nature calls.

Those humans who on occasion cross the Courthouse lawn seem to be stumblin’ upon the little treasures that remain.

Although this has not caused a big stink up ta know, there is somethin’ in the air. Although it is typical for us to keep our ear to the ground, but in this case it will probably suffice to sniff out clues to get to the real poop.

This is some crap, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

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Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

I live in Michigan, where Mother Nature constantly tries to do me in with her lake-effect snow and black ice. I recently purchased a 2010 Jeep, which is the first vehicle I’ve ever owned with a traction-control button. Why in the world would I EVER want to turn the traction control off? I quite enjoy having traction. Is there any downside to always having the traction control on? --Dan

Ray: Normally, no. For the vast majority of your driving lifetime, Dan, the traction control should be on.

Tom: Traction control used the antilock braking system to prevent your wheels from spinning when you accelerate. Because once the wheels start to spin, you lose all traction and lose directional control of the vehicle. You’ve probably experienced this phenomenon, often referred to as fishtailing.

Ray: So, why would you ever want to turn it off? The only reason would be if you’re already stuck in a pile of snow, for instance. Sometimes the only way out of a parking space or a snowdrift is to "blast out." That means hitting the gas and letting the when spin until it digs down and grabs onto something.

Tom: Or rocking the car back and forth between dive and reverse until you can build up enough momentum to get over the hump of snow that’s blocking you. Neither of those techniques always works, but sometimes it’s your only hope. And traction control prevents you from using those techniques.

Ray: In fact, some car’s traction control systems are so sensitive that they can make a car stop dead in the snow.

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