The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, April 20, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 209

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...A Benefit for Cancer patient Mike Evans will be held Sat. April 30 from 5 to 8 p.m. at the Fairview Christian Church. Info call 358-4962

today's laugh

- From the interviewee: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)

- "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)

- "Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers." (Murray Walker)

- "A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin." (Jo Sheldon)

- "That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe)

- "I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." (Marlon Starling)

- "I can’t tell who’s leading. It’s either Oxford or Cambridge." (John Snagge - Boat Race between only Oxford and Cambridge)

- "The Queen’s Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." (Tony Crozier)

Is it true that cannibals won’t eat a clown because they’re afraid they will taste funny?


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Charged With Hauling Passengers and

Baggage Without a License.

W. P. Ennis, the well known drayman of this city, was arrested this morning on two separate charges preferred by W. L. Norris, the proprietor of the Carriage and Baggage Line. Last night when the members of the Eastern Star returned from Jasper Mr. Ennis met them at the depot with his large furniture car and drove them home, and this morning he hauled the baggage of the "Railroad Ticket Co." from the depot up town. This caused his arrest.

Mr. Ennis pays a license for a dray wagon and the license for carrying passengers and baggage is entirely distinct. The case was set for 3 o’clock this afternoon in police court but it is compromised and dismissed upon payment of the costs. The terms of the compromise were not made public.

  Today's Feature

Grant Commission Appointed.

The Jasper County County Commission met for their regular meeting yesterday morning in the Carthage Courthouse.

One of the items of order was to name the members of the newly formed Jasper County Law Enforcement Grant Application Committee.

Presiding Commissioner John Bartosh nominated and the Commission confirmed Brian Christmas, Webb City; Leslie Jones, Carl Junction; Stan Heater, Joplin; James Woestman, Carthage; and Doug Crandall, Carthage as Committee members.

The Committee is to meet at least once a year and disperse funds to local law enforcement agencies throughout the county.

After the vote, Commissioner Jim Honey thanked members of the former grant committee that was dissolved by the Commission last week for their service. Honey, who was absent from last week’s meeting, then assumed that Sheriff Archie Dunn would still chair the new committee. That notion was quickly rebuffed by Bartosh and Commissioner Darieus Adams. Sheriff Dunn was not at this meeting.

Just Jake Talkin'

There was some good advice in one a the local employment agencies newsletter the other day. It was talkin’ ‘bout how ta judge if your stayin’ in line for a career advancement.

It grabbed me partly because of its simplicity. Basically it said don’t do anything that most rational folks would think is stupid.

Most likely if we all adhered to that advice we wouldn’t need near as many civil court judges or divorce courts either.

Now the hitch of course is definin’ the word "rational." It also assumes that you are one, a rational person that is.

I suppose most feel they have a lot easier time identifyin’ stupid folks than they do findin’ rational examples of the species.

There’s nothin’ like a little reality check ever’ now and then.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• Make children’s pills easier to swallow by crushing them and putting them in a bit of jelly or applesauce. Make sure, especially if it’s a prescription medicine, that it can be crushed. -- U.L. in Minnesota

• To keep kids from running into a closed sliding-glass door, cut out a small picture of something that’s brightly colored, "laminate" it by taping it across both sides and then tape it to the door at children’s eye level. -- E.R. in New York

• Painting season is in full swing at my house, and here are my two favorite painting tips: One is to lightly soap the windows (glass only) and let it dry. Any paint splatters will land on the soap, which can be easily wiped away when the paint is dry. The other is to give locks, hinges and doorknobs a light coat of petroleum jelly. It works the same way, and when polished away, it leaves a nice shine to hardware.

• Here’s a great spring facial: Split an avocado, mash half of it and use it as a mask. Let sit for up to five minutes, then rinse away with warm water.

• Cleaning windows? Use a nylon net scrubbie from the kitchen to remove bugs from screens. It also works really well to scrub bugs off the car grille or windshield.

• Here’s a great tip you can use when parallel parking in front of a storefront. Check the reflection to see if it looks like there’s room when backing in or pulling forward. -- O.W. in California

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.