Two brothers were raised on a farm, one brother
moved to town. Every year, the city brother would come
out to visit the farmer brother. Every time he came out,
the farmer brother was complaining about his crops. It
was too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry, prices were
low, the crops looked bad. As the city brother was
driving out one year, he noticed the crops looking great.
He had the radio on and crops were hitting an all time
high. As he got out to the farm, here was the farmer
brother sitting in a rocking chair with a grumpy looking
on his face. The city brother asked why he was in a bad
mood. The crops looked great, the right amount of rain,
temp., and prices were setting records highs. The farmer
brother said, you know what a crop like this takes out of
A rancher asked his veterinarian for
some free advice. "I have a horse that walks
normally sometimes, and sometimes he limps. What shall I
The Vet replied, "The next time he
walks normally, sell him."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Arrested for Assault.
Ed Loomis was arrested this morning on
a warrant sworn out by a Mrs. Parsons, charging him with
assault. She is his housekeeper and claims that he struck
her in a difficulty they had. Loomis entered a plea of
not guilty and his case was set for 2 oclock this
Before the time arrived, Mrs. parsons
evidently experienced a change of heart, for she failed
to appear to prosecute and the police are now looking for
her. The case will be heard tomorrow morning at 9
The secretary of the Carthage
Commercial Club has received several letters from parties
in different parts of the country who are looking for
locations. They all state that they saw the clubs
advertisement in the Interstate Chautauquan and would
like to know more about Carthage and Jasper county.
National Level Exercise 2011
(NLE 2011) is scheduled for May 2011. The purpose
of the exercise is to prepare and coordinate a
multiple-jurisdictional integrated response to a
national catastrophic event. The Myers Park area
in Carthage may be used as one staging point for
NLE 2011 will simulate the
catastrophic nature of a major earthquake in the
central United States region of the New Madrid
Seismic Zone (NMSZ). The year 2011 is the
bicentennial anniversary of the 1811 New Madrid
earthquake, for which the NMSZ is named. NLE 2011
will be the first NLE to simulate a natural
NLE 2011 activities will take
place at command posts, emergency operation
centers and other locations to include federal
facilities in the Washington D.C. area and
federal, regional, state, tribal, local and
private sector facilities in the eight member
states of the Central United States Earthquake
Consortium (CUSEC). The eight member states of
CUSEC encompass four different FEMA regions that
include the states of: Alabama, Kentucky,
Mississippi, and Tennessee; Illinois and Indiana;
Arkansas; and Missouri.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Been There Before
When the Sprint Cup Series
moves from one track to another -- oh, say,
Martinsville to Ft. Worth to Talladega -- a lot
changes and a lot doesnt.
Or said Mark Martin, who has
seen them all innumerable times.
"Texas has its own
personality," said Martin entering the
Samsung Mobile 500. "Its fast, and
its flat for as fast as it is. It
doesnt have a lot of banking in relation to
the speed that youre able to make around
Its a great place to race, the location as
well as the facility. They put a lot of money
into this place, and I think it represents our
But its just another
track, which, in that rather general sense, makes
it like ... Martinsville, where Martin, 52,
finished 10th on April 3.
"Its the same as
Martinsville," he said. "Youre
almost a wreck at Martinsville, and youre
almost a wreck here. If youre not almost a
wreck, then youre not driving fast enough.
The miles an hour [arent] what scare you.
Its the loss of control."
Martin knows what its
like to finish first, second, third, fourth and
fifth at Texas Motor Speedway ... and at most
every other track. Hes taken his lumps,
too, which proved to be the case in the Samsung
Mobile 500, where Martin found his No. 5 Chevy
collected in a crash. He wound up 36th.
In the seasons first six
races, Martin finished no better than 10th
(twice) and no worse than 20th. That consistency
was good enough to rank him 10th in the point
standings ... until the Texas catastrophe dropped
him to 15th.
Martin said the difference
between first and 20th isnt as great as it
"Theres a little bit
in speed and a little bit in track position, but
the cars are relatively close nowadays," he
said. "You squeeze every ounce of time out
of every single component in the whole sport. You
cant leave anything alone. Youve got
to squeeze every bit of it from pit-road speed to
pit stops to restarts to handling and
As such, Martin believes
victory, not to mention the finishes better than
10th, will come in its own sweet time.
I read where the mental
health experts are seein a lotta folks
who feel things are just movin too
fast. Cell phones, pagers, fax machines
bein toted around. They cant seem
to take an hour or two to get away from the
constant barrage of information. They
complain of too much pressure.
I wonder if the fast pace
is really increasin the pressure
factor. The settlers in the area whos
livelihood for the next year depended on
gettin in a crop probly
werent concerned about communications
equipment. The thunderstorm rollin in
or the locus were most immediate pressures to
Life and death decisions
arent anything new, only the implements
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
Last week my fiancees
father was driving his 1987 Buick from the farm
into town. A couple of hundred yards away from
the house (and about .1 mile from the highway) on
the gravel road, the car caught fire. Her dad,
instead of using his cell phone to call the fire
department, left the car on the road and walked
home to tell his wife. He told her itd burn
itself out. A short while later, they were
surprised to see the fire department outside
putting out the blazing car. So, (1) what the
heck kind of family am I marrying into? And (2)
would the car actually have pulled a "movie
moment" and exploded? Or, like her father
says, would it have burned itself out? -- Seth
TOM: I think Pops REALLY wants
a new Buick, Seth. He was afraid that if he put
out the fire, theyd somehow be able to
patch up his car, and hed have to drive it
for another five years. So he walked away to make
sure it had ample time to caramelize.
RAY: Thats a very
dangerous thing to do. It certainly can explode.
Sometimes they can burn themselves out, if they
run out of nearby materials to combust.
TOM: But lots of times they
keep burning. And then they spread to the
undercarriage, and then the tires, and the
interior. Once a fire spreads, it easily can melt
the fuel lines, or cause the pressure in the fuel
tank to rise so much that the tank breaks.
RAY: So, whenever you have a
car that catches fire that you cant address
immediately with the proper fire extinguisher,
you should move away from the car and call the
TOM: What kind of family are
you marrying into, Seth? One that needs to work
on its communication skills.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.