A man was lying in his hospital bed, still
groggy from the effects of his recent operation. His
doctor came in looking very glum.
"I cant be sure whats
wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think
its the drinking."
"All right," said the
patient. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor
A man in a bar is enjoying his drink
when he hears a voice say, "You look great!" He
looks around, but there is nobody near him. He hears the
voice again: "No, really, you look just
terrific!" Again he looks around. Nobody. A few
minutes pass, and again he hears the voice: "Is that
a new shirt or something? Because you look absolutely
stunning!" At this point the man realizes that the
voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar.
"Hey," the man calls to the bartender,
"Whats with these nuts?" "Oh,"
the bartender answers, "theyre
I dont have a solution, but I do
admire the problem.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BOUGHT A THIRD
Louis Hatton is Now a Partner of B. S.
Briles in the West Side Cafe. Saturday evening a deal was
closed whereby Louis Hatton, a well known young man of
this city, becomes the owner of a third interest in B. S.
Briles cafe and bakery on the west side of the
Mr. Hatton has been at the cafe for the
past few days invoicing, etc., but the deal was kept very
quiet until today. He will devote his entire attention to
the business, assisting Mr. and Mrs. Briles.
Mr. Hatton is the son of Mr. A. Hatton,
the well known capitalist of this city, and is a young
man of exemplary habits and high character. He has a
large amount of energy, push and business ability and
will no doubt succeed. He has scores of friends who will
be glad to note his business venture and who will join in
wishing him success in it.
The Carthage Chamber of
Commerce has announced that the official Business
Expo map is now available in the April 18th
edition of the Joplin Tri State Business Journal.
The 2011 Carthage Business Expo
dates are Thursday, April 28th from 5-7 for a
Business After Hours for the business
professionals of local communities. A business
card is needed for admittance..
Friday, April 29th 11-7 the
Expo will be open to the public. There will be
food on site, door prizes, promotions and a
Project Graduation 50/50 cash drawing.
For more information, contact
Neely at 358-2373 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital
in partnership with Family Medical Center of
Carthage will conduct a free skin cancer
screening clinic May 17 from 9 to 11 a.m. and 1
to 3 p.m. No appointment necessary; first come,
first served basis. Participants are asked to use
the main entrance. Formore information call
I grew up havin
coaches of various sports that liked
"trick plays." All within the rules
of course, but some of em down right
One baseball coach
instructed the catcher to call out
"Watch the bunt Pete" when a runner
was on third. If the runner moved down the
base line with the third base man, the short
stop was to slip over to the third base bag
for a throw from the catcher.
A football coach would send
in two substitutes, three players would run
to the sidelines. One would stay in bounds
and behind the line of scrimmage next to the
coach. When the ball was snapped, the
quarterback would raise and quickly throw a
pass to the "wide-wide"
end.Never had a coach who encouraged
cheatin, just usin the rules for
the best advantage.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Mulching Is Rite
Its mid-April as I write
this, and my neighborhood is awash in the aroma
of freshly laid bark mulch. Where I live,
surrounded by professional landscapers, the tall
shrubs are unwrapped well ahead of the first
spring blooms and mulch covers the edges of lawns
as far as the eye can see.
Whats the point of mulch,
you ask -- other than as decoration? Mulch
provides protection for both soil and plants,
preventing dirt from washing away in spring rains
and exposing plant roots, while simultaneously
repelling insects and rodents and discouraging
weeds from taking root.
So, whats the best mulch
to use? It depends. The term "mulch" is
pretty generic; it basically describes any
material spread around or over plants to enrich
or insulate the soil. Here are some common
mulches and their use.
Inorganic mulch: Rocks or
gravel, recycled rubber tires, landscape fabric
and plastic sheeting are typical of inorganic
products used to prevent erosion and weeds.
Organic mulch: Commercially
available mulch tends to be comprised of tree
bark or wood chips. But other mulches can be
created at home, including compost, grass
clippings, dried leaves and pine needles. Dried
straw is another type of organic mulch.
Bark mulch is excellent for
protecting the surface roots of trees and shrubs,
but not so good for gardens, as its high
carbon-to-nitrogen ratio can hinder growth of
vegetables and flowers.
Gravel or rocks work as
decorative landscaping, but dont place them
directly over tree or shrub roots as they can
heat up in the sun, damaging the roots beneath.
Using compost? Check for a
"sour mulch" condition -- a strong
vinegary or silage odor -- before spreading in
the garden. If the compost seems sour, turn the
pile well to introduce oxygen and make sure it
has good drainage, and wait until the sour smell
goes away before using.
How deep should bark mulch go?
Three inches is a good depth, as it protects
roots while allowing air and water to penetrate.
What shouldnt mulch
touch? Keep it six inches or more away from your
homes foundation and siding, as well as
from the base of tree trunks.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.