The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, April 26, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 213

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...A Benefit for Cancer patient Mike Evans will be held Sat. April 30 from 5 to 8 p.m. at the Fairview Christian Church. Info call 358-4962

today's laugh

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’


A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn’t know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herselfto write the word "toilet" in her letter.

After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.

"Does the camping ground have it’s own B.C." is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn’t a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn’t figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.

I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember this is a very friendly community.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

E. Knell Has Lost Another Registered Jersey Heifer.

E. Knell has lost another registered Jersey heifer and it is believed that the animal was poisoned. A week ago one of the finest heifers of Mr. Knell’s herd died, but the circumstance aroused no suspicion. This second case is too much and Mr. Knell is of the opinion that she must have been poisoned by someone as a piece of spite.

The dead animal is "Susie of Carthage," 10 months old, and out of Beulah Shawhan, one of the finest Jerseys in America. Mr. Knell would not have considered an offer of $150 for her. The animals which have died so suddenly and mysteriously are the very pick of Mr. Knell’s original herd and were purchased by him from the famous Shawhan herd in Lone Jack, Missouri.

If it is a fact that the heifers were poisoned by some persons they should be severely punished and will be if their identity is ever discovered.

  Today's Feature

Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre.

The Cemetery Club, a comedy by Ivan Menchell, has been characterized as "SteelMagnolias meets The Golden Girls". Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre is proud to present this two-act play which centers on three women who have been friends for years. Along with their husbands, they did everything together— shows, cruises, dining and dancing, and suffering through the social gatherings of their friends and relatives. Recently, however, each of the women has become a widow so these days the only socializing for the girls is weekly canasta, the occasional dinner and a monthly trip to the cemetery to visit their husbands.

This arrangement is just fine for Doris, but Lucille has become tired of this "Cemetery Club" and is moving on.

Directed by Doug Dickey, the veteran cast features Linda Bailey, Shanti Navarre, Idell Looney, Kevin Provins, and Betsy Fleischaker.

Performances will be held at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on May 12-14, and May 20-22, 2011.Reservations can be made by calling the theatre at 417-358-9665.

Just Jake Talkin'

Talked to a guy the other day who was troubled. Said he was startin’ ta think more like Jake ever’day. I’m still not for sure ‘xactly what he meant, but I don’t think he was feelin’ too good about it.

The fact is, most of us don’t have a lot ta say ‘bout how we look at things. They say that by the age of three, most of us are already pretty well set in our ways. Most just spend the rest of their lives tryin’ to keep from lettin’ the rest of the world know. One lady said she looked in the mirror one day and exclaimed, "My god, it’s my mother."

Maybe that’s what this feller was worried about, that some day he’d see Jake in the mirror. Believe me, that would make a lot a fellers linger in bed a little longer in the mornin’.

I just ask one thing, don’t use me as an excuse for what you’re thinkin’.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

To Your Good Health

By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Bowling With an Aneurysm

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I am a 73-year-old woman. I have an abdominal aortic aneurysm. I have sonograms regularly. I am in a bowling league. I bowl each week. My bowling ball weighs 10 pounds. Should I bowl? My last ultrasound shows that the aneurysm is 3.8 cm. -- F.S.

ANSWER: Your doctor is the only one who can answer your question with authority. He or she knows all the circumstances of your health. However, I can tell you that most people with an aneurysm of your size are encouraged to be active. Lifting heavy weights is discouraged. A 10-pound bowling ball isn’t considered a heavy weight.

The size of an aneurysm determines its risk of breaking apart and bleeding profusely. Aneurysms smaller than 4 cm are not in danger of suddenly rupturing. When an aneurysm reaches 5 to 5.5 cm, then surgical repair is recommended. You are quite a distance away from the danger zone.

For readers: Aneurysms are bulges of an artery wall, and are weak spots.


DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I hope you will discuss lactose intolerance. I am 60 and just developed it. -- J.B.

ANSWER: Lactose is milk sugar. In our digestive tracts is an enzyme -- lactase -- that digests milk sugar. People with too little of the lactase enzyme have trouble when they drink or eat dairy products. Milk sugar doesn’t break down. The undigested sugar leads to gas production, stomach cramps and diarrhea.

Medical tests can confirm the dearth of the lactase enzyme.

Standard treatment of lactose intolerance (also called lactase deficiency) is avoidance of dairy products. Most cheeses have little lactose, so they can be eaten. Yogurt made from live cultures is usually tolerated.

Furthermore, many dairy products can be pretreated with lactase, and people with the intolerance are not bothered by such products. The lactase enzyme comes in pill and liquid forms. It can be added to milk or taken by mouth before eating or drinking dairy products.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.