The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, August 11, 2011 Volume XX, Number 37

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. There will be an American Red Cross Blood Drive at the Carthage Nazarene Church Thursday, Aug. 18 from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Did Ya Know?.. The American Legion & Auxiliary, Post 9, of Carthage are accepting donations for a rummage sale to be held August 27 & 28. Jerry Chapman 417-423-0096, D Murphey 417-359-6161

today's laugh

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them?

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?"

"After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Bitten by a Vicious Dog.

Detective Ed Pike was bitten by a vicious dog this morning while crossing Third street near the northwest corner of the square. The animal belongs to a man named Culbert who lives on Tiger Hill, and bit Mr. Pike without any provocation. One of the dogs long, sharp teeth was buried its full length in his thigh. Mr. Pike pulled a revolver to shoot the vicious beast, but there were so many passersby it would have been dangerous, and he did not fire. It is thought the dog may possibly be mad and it will be tied up and closely watched by its owner.

Grand Opera House.

The Grand opera house will be occupied all next week by the Howard DeVoss company in a new repertoire of the latest comedies and drams. The company again promises a week of good, clean fun and amusement. The price will be the same as before—10 cents for any seat in the house.

  Today's Feature

45th Annual Maple Leaf Festival

Commemorative Shirt Pre-Order.


Commemorative shirts for the 45th Annual Maple Leaf Festival are now available. Shirts can be pre-order at the Carthage Chamber, 402 S Garrison or Sports World, 2430 S Grand.

Shirts are available in sizes youth small – adult 3XL, featuring choice of reproductions of watercolors by Jeanette Westbay including the Historic Carthage Square Courthouse, the old high school or Whisler’s Drive-Up. Shirts can be ordered as short sleeved, long sleeved or sweatshirt design.

"Although shirts will be available at the Maple Leaf parade October 15th, make sure to order your shirts soon as they will be in limited supply by October," says Chamber Membership Director Neely Myers.

Shirts must be ordered by September 16th to be guaranteed for delivery before Maple Leaf.

"Get yours now for casual Fridays or start your own Maple Leaf Mondays," Myers suggests.

Jasper County Jail Count

183 August 10, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

Menard Dismisses His Critics

He has those jaunty sideburns that make him look a bit, you know, colorful. Menard has been criticized because his father is wealthy and has supported his son’s racing efforts.

Just who out there would pass that up?

In truth, Menard is quite modest, as reflected in the fact that he is quite terse. His answers to questions are seldom expansive, and he often speaks in sentences that aren’t complete. Examples from his press conference after winning Sunday’s Brickyard 400:

"Can’t change people’s opinions. ... Can’t control it. ... Definitely for him (his dad). ... Sitting up in a suite for the inaugural one (Brickyard 400 in 1994). ... Saw Rick Mast win the pole. ... Passed a couple cars. ... Just started trying to maintain some kind of lap time being easy on the throttle, easy off, earlier than normal, easy on."

You get the point.

But anyone who thinks Paul Menard is some international playboy, jetting around on his daddy’s money, has got it wrong. John Menard was able to make sure his son got the best equipment, but it was Paul who proved he could do the job. Some find Indy boring. Others complain about how hard it is to see. No one doubts it takes considerable ability to win here.

Richard Childress didn’t put Menard in his No. 27 Chevy just because of sponsorship from the Menard’s chain of home-improvement warehouses. It didn’t hurt, though.

"I caught a lot of flak back early last year when we decided to go with four teams," said Childress. "I’ve been watching Paul ever since he won the Nationwide race (Milwaukee, 2006). He doesn’t wear equipment out. He’s consistent. He’s really good. Got a cool head on him in all situations.

"I knew if the right situation came along, we’d win. To get ‘Slugger’ (Labbe, Menard’s crew chief) to come over, John Menard support us ... that was a big jump going in on a fourth team."

Menard bounced around, from Dale Earnhardt Inc. in 2007-08 and to Richard Petty Motorsports in 2009-10. It took Childress to provide him with what proved to be a winning combination in one of NASCAR’s premier races.

Just Jake Talkin'

As a first grader I was fortunate to be goin’ into a brand, spankin’ (no pun intended) new school buildin’. The summer before it opened, the janitor put out the word to the kids in the neighborhood that he’d pay a silver dollar to anyone who’d come and pick up rocks outa the school yard for a day. Prob’ly thirty or forty of us showed up.

We’d line up with a bucket in hand and walk the school yard. It was ‘bout a square block so we had plenty ta do. One kid my age was Frankie. At the end of the day, we lined up for our pay. The janitor wasn’t pleased with Frankie’s work ethic and talked as if he wasn’t gonna pay up. He finally handed the kid a fifty-cent piece. Frankie was obviously pleased. I don’t remember a lot about the janitor, but I do know I never trusted him again. I still feel like he cheated the six-year-old for no good reason.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



Dear Tom and Ray:

My husband just bought a 2004 Chevy Tracker with a smidge over 60,000 miles on the odometer. We think the prior owner might have hauled the Tracker behind a recreational vehicle; there is a tow-hitch bracket under the Tracker’s front bumper and a bunch of rock chips in the hood’s paint.

So our question is this: When a vehicle is towed with four wheels on the ground like that, does the towed vehicle’s odometer register all of those miles? My husband thinks most of these miles are "towed miles" and therefore he got a low-mileage vehicle with a high-mileage odometer. Is my husband’s smugness justified? -- Di

RAY: A husband’s smugness is never justified, Di. Because even if he’s right about something, it’s only a matter of time before he’s wrong about something else. If you don’t believe me, ask my wife!

TOM: But you don’t even have to wait for your husband to be wrong, Di. He’s wrong right now. In the old days, odometers were mechanical. They were run by a cable that came up from the output shaft of the transmission. So, when the drive wheels turned, that shaft turned and the odometer turned, racking up the miles.

RAY: But on modern cars, speedometers and odometers are electronic. So unless the key is on, they’re not getting powered and won’t register any miles.

TOM: And if you needed the key to be turned -- to unlock the steering wheel, for example -- you’d probably disconnect the battery to keep it from dying.

RAY: So your husband’s new Tracker has 60,000 actual, honest-to-goodness driven miles on it. Plus maybe another 150,000 or 200,000 spent bouncing behind a Winnebago.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.