today's
laugh A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An
American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on
the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to
catch them?
"Not very long," answered the
Mexican.
"But then, why didn’t you
stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small
catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his
family.
The American asked, "But what do
you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play
with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the
evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a
few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I
have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have
an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start
by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra
fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a
bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will
bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on
until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of
selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate
directly with the processing plants and maybe even open
your own plant. You can then leave this little village
and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York
City! From there you can direct your huge
enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five
years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That’s when it
gets really interesting," answered the American,
laughing. "When your business gets really big, you
can start selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after
that?"
"After that you’ll be able to
retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep
late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a
siesta, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying
your friends!"
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Bitten by a Vicious
Dog.
Detective Ed Pike was bitten by a
vicious dog this morning while crossing Third street near
the northwest corner of the square. The animal belongs to
a man named Culbert who lives on Tiger Hill, and bit Mr.
Pike without any provocation. One of the dogs long, sharp
teeth was buried its full length in his thigh. Mr. Pike
pulled a revolver to shoot the vicious beast, but there
were so many passersby it would have been dangerous, and
he did not fire. It is thought the dog may possibly be
mad and it will be tied up and closely watched by its
owner.
Grand Opera House.
The Grand opera house will be occupied
all next week by the Howard DeVoss company in a new
repertoire of the latest comedies and drams. The company
again promises a week of good, clean fun and amusement.
The price will be the same as before—10 cents for
any seat in the house.
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Today's Feature 45th Annual
Maple Leaf Festival
Commemorative
Shirt Pre-Order.
Commemorative shirts for the
45th Annual Maple Leaf Festival are now
available. Shirts can be pre-order at the
Carthage Chamber, 402 S Garrison or Sports World,
2430 S Grand.
Shirts are available in sizes
youth small – adult 3XL, featuring choice of
reproductions of watercolors by Jeanette Westbay
including the Historic Carthage Square
Courthouse, the old high school or Whisler’s
Drive-Up. Shirts can be ordered as short sleeved,
long sleeved or sweatshirt design.
"Although shirts will be
available at the Maple Leaf parade October 15th,
make sure to order your shirts soon as they will
be in limited supply by October," says
Chamber Membership Director Neely Myers.
Shirts must be ordered by
September 16th to be guaranteed for delivery
before Maple Leaf.
"Get yours now for casual
Fridays or start your own Maple Leaf
Mondays," Myers suggests.
Jasper
County Jail Count
183 August 10,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By
Monte Dutton
Menard Dismisses
His Critics
He has those jaunty sideburns
that make him look a bit, you know, colorful.
Menard has been criticized because his father is
wealthy and has supported his son’s racing
efforts.
Just who out there would pass
that up?
In truth, Menard is quite
modest, as reflected in the fact that he is quite
terse. His answers to questions are seldom
expansive, and he often speaks in sentences that
aren’t complete. Examples from his press
conference after winning Sunday’s Brickyard
400:
"Can’t change
people’s opinions. ... Can’t control
it. ... Definitely for him (his dad). ... Sitting
up in a suite for the inaugural one (Brickyard
400 in 1994). ... Saw Rick Mast win the pole. ...
Passed a couple cars. ... Just started trying to
maintain some kind of lap time being easy on the
throttle, easy off, earlier than normal, easy
on."
You get the point.
But anyone who thinks Paul
Menard is some international playboy, jetting
around on his daddy’s money, has got it
wrong. John Menard was able to make sure his son
got the best equipment, but it was Paul who
proved he could do the job. Some find Indy
boring. Others complain about how hard it is to
see. No one doubts it takes considerable ability
to win here.
Richard Childress didn’t
put Menard in his No. 27 Chevy just because of
sponsorship from the Menard’s chain of
home-improvement warehouses. It didn’t hurt,
though.
"I caught a lot of flak
back early last year when we decided to go with
four teams," said Childress. "I’ve
been watching Paul ever since he won the
Nationwide race (Milwaukee, 2006). He
doesn’t wear equipment out. He’s
consistent. He’s really good. Got a cool
head on him in all situations.
"I knew if the right
situation came along, we’d win. To get
‘Slugger’ (Labbe, Menard’s crew
chief) to come over, John Menard support us ...
that was a big jump going in on a fourth
team."
Menard bounced around, from
Dale Earnhardt Inc. in 2007-08 and to Richard
Petty Motorsports in 2009-10. It took Childress
to provide him with what proved to be a winning
combination in one of NASCAR’s premier
races.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
As a first grader I was
fortunate to be goin’ into a brand,
spankin’ (no pun intended) new school
buildin’. The summer before it opened,
the janitor put out the word to the kids in
the neighborhood that he’d pay a silver
dollar to anyone who’d come and pick up
rocks outa the school yard for a day.
Prob’ly thirty or forty of us showed up.
We’d line up with a
bucket in hand and walk the school yard. It
was ‘bout a square block so we had
plenty ta do. One kid my age was Frankie. At
the end of the day, we lined up for our pay.
The janitor wasn’t pleased with
Frankie’s work ethic and talked as if he
wasn’t gonna pay up. He finally handed
the kid a fifty-cent piece. Frankie was
obviously pleased. I don’t remember a
lot about the janitor, but I do know I never
trusted him again. I still feel like he
cheated the six-year-old for no good reason.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply |
Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband just bought a 2004
Chevy Tracker with a smidge over 60,000 miles on
the odometer. We think the prior owner might have
hauled the Tracker behind a recreational vehicle;
there is a tow-hitch bracket under the
Tracker’s front bumper and a bunch of rock
chips in the hood’s paint.
So our question is this: When a
vehicle is towed with four wheels on the ground
like that, does the towed vehicle’s odometer
register all of those miles? My husband thinks
most of these miles are "towed miles"
and therefore he got a low-mileage vehicle with a
high-mileage odometer. Is my husband’s
smugness justified? -- Di
RAY: A husband’s smugness
is never justified, Di. Because even if he’s
right about something, it’s only a matter of
time before he’s wrong about something else.
If you don’t believe me, ask my wife!
TOM: But you don’t even
have to wait for your husband to be wrong, Di.
He’s wrong right now. In the old days,
odometers were mechanical. They were run by a
cable that came up from the output shaft of the
transmission. So, when the drive wheels turned,
that shaft turned and the odometer turned,
racking up the miles.
RAY: But on modern cars,
speedometers and odometers are electronic. So
unless the key is on, they’re not getting
powered and won’t register any miles.
TOM: And if you needed the key
to be turned -- to unlock the steering wheel, for
example -- you’d probably disconnect the
battery to keep it from dying.
RAY: So your husband’s new
Tracker has 60,000 actual, honest-to-goodness
driven miles on it. Plus maybe another 150,000 or
200,000 spent bouncing behind a Winnebago.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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