Mornin' Mail

The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, August 15, 2011 Volume XX, Number 40

Did Ya Know?.. There will be an American Red Cross Blood Drive at the Carthage Nazarene Church Thursday, Aug. 18 from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Did Ya Know?.. The American Legion & Auxiliary, Post 9, of Carthage are accepting donations for a rummage sale to be held August 27 & 28. Jerry Chapman 417-423-0096, D Murphey 417-359-6161

today's laugh

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?"

The man said, "I’ll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a minute and said, "I’d better go check."

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We’re gonna build a house."

"I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...’Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’ He went insane. -- Steven Wright

1911

INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

SAYS HIS NAME IS GOD.

Man Who is Evidently Insane Picked Up Near the Frisco Track.

The Frisco inter-urban train which reached Carthage at 12:35 p.m. today, brought a strange passenger. Just about a mile this side of Oronogo, a farmer flagged the train. When it stopped the crew found lying beside the track, a man whom the farmer had in charge. The farmer had found him where he lay. He was helped on board the train and brought to Carthage. Who and what he is, is at present bothering the police.

Officer Dan Bruffett met the train at the depot and brought the man up town. He was taken to C. C. Catron’s shoe store and County Physician F. W. Flower was called to examine him. A reporter reached the store just a moment before the doctor arrive.

The man, who is undoubtedly deranged, was standing up, half supported by Officer Sherman Drake. He is about 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs perhaps 175 pounds, has gray blue eyes, dark hair slightly gray, and a crooked nose. His mouth is covered by a heavy, drooping brown moustache and he appears to be about 40 or 45 years of age. He was fairly well dressed, with brown hat and overcoat, good suit of clothes and white shirt. His hands and face were coated with dirt as though he had been thrown head long into the mud. His hair was also full of mud and his clothing muddy.

When standing in Catron’s store, he kept his hands clasped and prayed in a whisper. When spoken to he was mute and acted as though deaf. Only once did he reply to questions. When Officer Bruffett asked "Where are you from?", he promptly replied, "No where." "Where are you going?" "No where." Where did you get on the train?" "No where." "What is your name?" "God."

Dr. Flower believes that the man is suffering from the effects of a fall or blow. He had $2.35, some patent medicine, a watch and a letter addressed to Chas. W. Smith, Neosho, Mo., by City Attorney Joel Livingston, of Joplin. The letter related to the city license of medicine peddlers in Joplin.

The unfortunate man was taken to the city jail and put to bed on a cot in the corridor near the stove where there is always a fire. Some one will be secured to look after him tonight.

Today's Feature

Individual Mandate Ruled

Unconstitutional.

The 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals in Atlanta has ruled that key provisions of the health care reform bill are unconstitutional. The question will likely be taken to the Supreme Court. The Obama administration had appealed to the 11th Circuit after a similar ruling by a lower court.

The court was split 2-1 on the decision.

According to Chief Judge Joel Dubina, "the individual mandate exceeds Congress’s enumerated commerce power and is unconstitutional. This economic mandate represents a wholly novel and potentially unbounded assertion of congressional authority: the ability to compel Americans to purchase an expensive health insurance product they have elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase that insurance product every month for their entire lives."

A total of 25 states, including Missouri, joined Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum in the case.

Jasper County Jail Count

unknown August 12, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

I played tourist last weekend. You know, drive around in an out-of-state community, lookin’ here and there. Slowin’ down to nearly a stop ta look at some interest or another. I’m sure all the locals got a real kick out of it.

I don’t know if the community I was surveyin’ gets many tourists, but havin’ a Missouri tag was all I needed.

Sometimes I wonder if folks such as myself take advantage of the "tourist" badge to do things they wouldn’t think of in their own community. Parkin’ on the wrong side of the street, stoppin’ in the middle of an intersection to read the street signs, that sorta thing.

I did try ta pull over if I saw a big line a traffic behind my creepin’ auto. They all made real friendly gestures as they passed me by.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.