A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove
into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the
office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean
two-by-fours, dont you?"
The man said, "Ill go
check," and went back to the truck. He returned a
minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant
"All right. How long do you need
The customer paused for a minute and
said, "Id better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to
the office and said, "A long time. Were gonna
build a house."
"I bought a dog the other day...I
named him Stay. Its fun to call him...Come
here, Stay! Come here, Stay! He went insane. --
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
SAYS HIS NAME IS GOD.
is Evidently Insane Picked Up Near the Frisco Track.
The Frisco inter-urban train which
reached Carthage at 12:35 p.m. today, brought a strange
passenger. Just about a mile this side of Oronogo, a
farmer flagged the train. When it stopped the crew found
lying beside the track, a man whom the farmer had in
charge. The farmer had found him where he lay. He was
helped on board the train and brought to Carthage. Who
and what he is, is at present bothering the police.
Officer Dan Bruffett met the train at
the depot and brought the man up town. He was taken to C.
C. Catrons shoe store and County Physician F. W.
Flower was called to examine him. A reporter reached the
store just a moment before the doctor arrive.
The man, who is undoubtedly deranged,
was standing up, half supported by Officer Sherman Drake.
He is about 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs perhaps 175
pounds, has gray blue eyes, dark hair slightly gray, and
a crooked nose. His mouth is covered by a heavy, drooping
brown moustache and he appears to be about 40 or 45 years
of age. He was fairly well dressed, with brown hat and
overcoat, good suit of clothes and white shirt. His hands
and face were coated with dirt as though he had been
thrown head long into the mud. His hair was also full of
mud and his clothing muddy.
When standing in Catrons store,
he kept his hands clasped and prayed in a whisper. When
spoken to he was mute and acted as though deaf. Only once
did he reply to questions. When Officer Bruffett asked
"Where are you from?", he promptly replied,
"No where." "Where are you going?"
"No where." Where did you get on the
train?" "No where." "What is your
Dr. Flower believes that the man is
suffering from the effects of a fall or blow. He had
$2.35, some patent medicine, a watch and a letter
addressed to Chas. W. Smith, Neosho, Mo., by City
Attorney Joel Livingston, of Joplin. The letter related
to the city license of medicine peddlers in Joplin.
The unfortunate man was taken to the
city jail and put to bed on a cot in the corridor near
the stove where there is always a fire. Some one will be
secured to look after him tonight.
The 11th Circuit U.S. Court of
Appeals in Atlanta has ruled that key provisions
of the health care reform bill are
unconstitutional. The question will likely be
taken to the Supreme Court. The Obama
administration had appealed to the 11th Circuit
after a similar ruling by a lower court.
The court was split 2-1 on the
According to Chief Judge Joel
Dubina, "the individual mandate exceeds
Congresss enumerated commerce power and is
unconstitutional. This economic mandate
represents a wholly novel and potentially
unbounded assertion of congressional authority:
the ability to compel Americans to purchase an
expensive health insurance product they have
elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase
that insurance product every month for their
A total of 25 states, including
Missouri, joined Florida Attorney General Bill
McCollum in the case.
County Jail Count
Including Placed out of County
I played tourist last
weekend. You know, drive around in an
out-of-state community, lookin here and
there. Slowin down to nearly a stop ta
look at some interest or another. Im
sure all the locals got a real kick out of
I dont know if the
community I was surveyin gets many
tourists, but havin a Missouri tag was
all I needed.
Sometimes I wonder if folks
such as myself take advantage of the
"tourist" badge to do things they
wouldnt think of in their own
community. Parkin on the wrong side of
the street, stoppin in the middle of an
intersection to read the street signs, that
I did try ta pull over if I
saw a big line a traffic behind my
creepin auto. They all made real
friendly gestures as they passed me by.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Septic Tank Need Pumping Out?
Q: How often do I need to have
my septic tank pumped out? I keep getting calls
and postcards from a local company saying I have
to do it every year. -- Jim S., via email
A: How often your septic tank
actually needs to be pumped out varies depending
on the size of the tank, the number of people in
your home, and local or state regulations
regarding septic tank maintenance.
First things first, however.
How long has it been since your tank was last
pumped out? If its been more than six
years, or you honestly cant remember,
its probably time.
If you know how long its
been since the last cleaning, the size of the
tank will help you figure out when next to have
it pumped out. For example, if you have a
500-gallon tank, and your home has four
residents, the tank should be cleaned once per
year. If there are only two residents in a home
with a 500-gallon tank, a cleaning is only needed
about every two and a half years. (The attached
chart, courtesy of Cruse Wastewater, has more
The purpose of pumping out the
tank is to remove solid waste, or sludge, which
builds up over time. Too much sludge reduces the
efficiency of the septic system and can block or
damage drain pipes, causing a backup into your
house (ugh!) or damage to the drain field through
which liquid waste is safely disbursed.
Even with a cleaning schedule
in place, once a year you should have a
technician come out and check the sludge level of
the tank. If the sludge level is too high -- past
the halfway mark -- a cleaning is needed, along
with an evaluation of the system to make sure
everything is working correctly.
Finally, a check of local and
state regulations concerning septic tanks can
save you some grief in the long run. Some
municipalities mandate more frequent tank
cleaning due to groundwater quality issues, and
at least one county in Florida is requiring
residents to completely replace tanks that are
more than 40 years old.
HOME TIP: Avoid flushing
chemical products into a septic system. These
will kill bacteria that are essential to breaking
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Publishing. All rights reserved.