When the usher noticed a man stretched across
three seats in the movie theater, he walked over and
whispered, "Sorry, sir, but youre allowed only
The man moaned but didnt budge.
"Sir," the usher said more
loudly, "if you dont move, Ill have to
call the manager."
The man moaned again but stayed where
The usher left and returned with the
manager, who, after several attempts at dislodging the
fellow, called the police.
The cop looked at the reclining man and
said,"All right, whats your name, joker?"
"Joe," he mumbled.
"And where are you from,
Joe responds painfully... "The
"You wont amount to anything
because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh yea,
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Sad Death of Mrs.
Mrs. Bates, who lived just north of the
Advent church on Jersey street, died this afternoon. The
death is a peculiarly sad one, according to President E.
Knell of the charity union. The family has only been here
a short time and were compelled to stop on their journey
to Illinois by the illness of the wife and mother. There
are ten children of all ages. The head of the family is
willing to work and has two teams. He has been working at
the charity wood yard, and has been eager to secure
something to do.
The details of the funeral have not yet
been arranged, but it will be held tomorrow.
A Batch of Prisoners
Constable Jack Winters brought up six
evil-doers from Joplin this morning and lodged them in
the county jail. There were nearly all kinds, ages,
colors and sex of wrong doers in the batch. The offenses
were embezzlement, burglary and plain fighting.
Pool Rate Reduction.
The Missouri Health Insurance
Pool (MHIP) has announced a 23-percent reduction
in premiums for its federal pool program,
effective now. The federal pool guarantees health
coverage for Missourians who havent been
able to get health insurance elsewhere because of
The pool was set up last year
and is supposed to bring some relief to
individuals unable to get insurance until the
Affordable Care Act (ACA) takes full effect in
2014. The federal Patient Protection and
Affordable Care Act, signed in March 2010 by
President Barack Obama, provides $5 billion for a
temporary national high-risk pool. This is
intended to make health insurance available to
uninsured individuals before market reforms take
effect in 2014.
The Department of Insurance is
hoping that the reductions in premiums will make
comprehensive health-care coverage more
accessible to Missourians with pre-existing
medical conditions. Home health care, durable
medical equipment, prosthetics and orthotics,
mental illness and substance abuse care,
occupational therapy, speech therapy are among
covered services. A complete list of covered
health services, premium rates, and other
information can be found at:
Age Group Plan I
Plan II Plan III
0-17 $150 138 137
18-29 228 210 208
30-39 276 254 252
40-44 309 284 282
45-49 357 328 326
50-54 419 385 383
55-59 480 441 439
60 or older 601
All plans have a 20% co-pay and
a deductible of $1,000 to $5,000 with an
out-of-pocket maximum of $3,500 after the
There is also a prescription
drug plan with a $2,450 maximum out-of-pocket
after a $100 deductible.
The law allocates $81 million
for Missouris federal high-risk pool, which
is being operated by MHIP.
County Jail Count
196 August 15,
Including Placed out of County
Like most, Im just a
little tired of all the calls wantin me
ta change long distance telephone service.
Doesnt seem ta matter what time a day,
them calls keep comin.
Well, I got the topper the
other day. The call came in with a different
twist. They were sellin a service that
was supposed ta put an end to harassin
Now I suppose the best way
for someone ta find out who gets upset with
irritatin calls is to call and irritate
someone. The person on the other end of the
line seemed real upset that there wasnt
any interest in the service at this location.
We have, over the years,
tried to come up with polite ways to get
these callers off our line. It started with
"send us the info, well take a
look." Recently, the most effective
response was initiated. Ya hang up. It
aint too polite, but they seem ta get
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue,
Mammograms Arent More Accurate
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Please tell
me if a digital mammogram is a great deal better
than a regular mammogram. If I need to pay part
of the cost, I dont mind, if its
worth it. I dont want to pay for something
that is simply "newer." -- S.P.
ANSWER: With a conventional
mammogram, the image of the breast is captured on
film, like a photographic image. With a digital
mammogram, the image is captured electronically
on bits of computer code, like a digital camera
does. The techniques for taking a digital
mammogram are the same as those for a
conventional one. Digital mammograms are easier
to store, and digital images are available
immediately but are more costly.
A large study of almost 50,000
women concluded that the accuracy between digital
and conventional mammograms is not significantly
different. However, in women younger than 50 and
in women with dense breasts, digital mammograms
provide better pictures. Unless your doctor has
directed you to get digital mammograms, you can
rely on standard mammograms to serve you well.
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: For many
years, I have put up with floaters. I am quite
nearsighted, and my eye doctor says theyre
common in nearsighted people. Last week, I saw
flashes of light. I called the doctor, and he saw
me that day. He told me I had a vitreous
detachment. Is this serious? -- L.P.
ANSWER: The vitreous is a
thick, gel-like material that fills the back
two-thirds of the eye. It provides support for
the eye. The vitreous abuts on the retina, the
sensitive layer of cells that transfers incoming
images to the brain. A vitreous detachment means
it has pulled away from the retina. In doing so,
it stimulated the retina to cause the flashing
lights you saw.
The doctor made sure your
retina was OK. Flashes of light also can be a
signal that the retina is tearing. For the
present, nothing else needs to be done. The
doctor will examine you again in a few months to
be positive the retina is remaining in good
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.