today's
laugh HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by
kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the
same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it
that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and
dip coming.-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they
grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it
all way before, and you get to find out later who
you’re stuck with.-- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because
you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE
ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on
whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.--
Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE
IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people
should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough.-- Lynnette,
age 8
On the first date, they just tell each
other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough
to go for a second date.-- Martin, 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT
WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The
next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure
they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-- Craig, age
9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich.-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen,
so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. Curt, 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss
someone, then you should marry them and have kids with
them. It’s the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Eddie Watson Thrown
Into
Convulsions by a Blow
Received at Play.
It is a pretty safe assertion that
young Eddie Watson and Phil Hunter will not indulge in
any more rock throwing contests.
The two mentioned lads the former of
whom is 11 years old and the latter 16, were with a crowd
of boys at play at the Chautauqua grounds late yesterday
afternoon. In the progress of their games they began to
playfully pelt each other with rocks. It was lots of fun
until a stone hurled with terrific force by Hunter struck
the Watson boy on the left side of the forehead.
He soon recovered sufficiently to get
home assisted by the other boys but the "incident
was not yet closed." When his mother entered the
room to tell him to come to supper she found him in
convulsions. For a time it was feared the lad would
surely die, and his father W. B. Watson was summoned home
by telephone. The boy is a great deal better this morning
and able to sit up
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Today's Feature Road Closures
This Week in
Carthage.
The Following roads will be
closed or possibly slowed to traffic because of
the City’s annual Street paving project.
City officials ask that
alternate routes be taken if at all possible.
The paving will take place on
Thursday August 18 through Monday the 22nd.
• Katherine Street from
Pearl Street to Fairview Avenue.
• Carrie Street from
Katherine Street to Pearl Street.
• Walnut Street from
Garrison Avenue to Francis Street.
• 5th Street from Lincoln
Street to River Street.
• 10th Street from Orchard
Street to Valley Street.
Orchard Street from Chestnut
Street to Macon Street.
• Clinton Street from 5th
Street to Chestnut Street.
14th Street from Grand Avenue
to James Street.
Jasper
County Jail Count
unknown August
17, 2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
By
Monte Dutton
Greg
Biffle’s Got to Stay
Positive
Greg Biffle is relieved to see
things returning to normal at Roush Fenway
Racing.
Biffle, 41, has been competing
regularly at the Sprint Cup level for the Ford
team founded by Jack Roush since 2003, winning 16
times and finishing second to Tony Stewart in the
2005 championship standings. Biffle also finished
third, behind champion Jimmie Johnson and
teammate Carl Edwards, in 2008.
Normal, for Biffle, would
involve making the Chase for a fourth straight
year, but the Vancouver, Wash., native likely
will have to win at least one of the final five
regular-season races to do so.
The reason for Biffle’s
optimism is the fact that Edwards, the Cup point
leader, has renewed his contract to remain at
Roush Fenway. Edwards apparently seriously
considered an offer from Joe Gibbs Racing before
deciding to remain where he is. Like teammates
Edwards, Matt Kenseth and David Ragan, Biffle has
spent his entire career with Roush, winning a
Truck Series championship in 2000 and the (now)
Nationwide Series in 2002.
"I think it’s great
that he (Edwards) is coming back to our
company," Biffle said. "I was a little
skeptical, I suppose, whether he was going to,
figuring this is August already.
"I’m relieved because
people won’t ask me about it anymore.
That’s why I’m most relieved about it
and to have him back as a teammate. He does a
good job getting his car set up and helps. I
think we all help each other."
Roush recently changed
Biffle’s crew chief, replacing Greg Erwin
with Matt Puccia. Biffle, who won the August race
at Pocono Raceway in 2010, managed an
eighth-place finish this time, leaving him 13th
in points.
"Certainly we’ve been
trying hard to win a race," Biffle said.
"We’ve come close a few times. ...
Michigan, Bristol, Atlanta are all great tracks
for us, and we feel like we can win at basically
any of these racetracks.
"I would have never
guessed we’d be this far into the season
without winning a race after the way we finished
last year."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Applyin’ paint has two
distinctively different purposes. The obvious
is ta make things look better. The functional
purpose of paint, however, has nothin’
ta do with appearance. The function of paint
is to protect the object bein’ painted
from outside elements, typically the weather.
I’m supposin’
that professional painters are well aware
that a job that looks good doesn’t
necessarily mean it is a functional paint
job. ‘Course the real trick is ta have a
function that is also pleasin’ in
appearance, but no matter what, the effort of
paintin’ is only worthwhile if it does
the job intended.
The philosophy a friend a
mine once took note of, that two thin coats
are always better than one thick coat, came
from a paint can. He may have taken it a
little too serious, but then he did tend to
use a spray can in an unventilated room on
occasion.
This is some fact, but
mostly
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK
CARS
Dear Tom and Ray:
I just paid more than $1,000
for a major 60,000-mile service on my 2003
Mitsubishi Eclipse (4-cylinder), which included,
among other things, replacing the timing belt and
water pump. I assume I actually got all of the
work listed on the service order, but is there an
easy way to verify that the timing belt and water
pump were actually changed? -- Dave
RAY: There’s no easy way,
Dave. You’d have to take off the timing-belt
cover, which is about a half-hour job, and then
take a look at the belt. And even once the cover
is off, I’m not sure the average person
would be able to tell the difference.
TOM: I could tell. But I’m
a highly trained professional.
RAY: Yeah, he knows how to
check and see if the box for the new one is in a
nearby garbage can.
TOM: I understand your natural
distrust, Dave, but I think it’s doubtful
that a garage would charge for a job like this
and then not do it.
RAY: Right. First of all, most
mechanics are pretty honest (I think more
mistakes are the result of incompetence than
dishonesty). And if you really harbor those kinds
of doubts about your mechanic, you should find a
new one.
TOM: Second, the stakes are too
high to risk it on a job like this. Even if your
mechanic is an outright thief, there’d be a
high risk that he’d get caught when your old
timing belt finally broke.
RAY: So he’d have to be
unscrupulous AND dumb in order to do this. And
there aren’t very many mechanics like my
brother left in the business.
TOM: I think it’s
important that you find a mechanic you have
confidence in. Good luck.
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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