The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, August 30, 2011 Volume XX, Number 51

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes on Monday August 29 through Friday September 2. Areas will be sprayed in the evening of the day garbage is picked up between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight.

today's laugh

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"


The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when the librarian saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.

"I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said.

"Which one?" she asked.

He scanned the shelves and answered, "William."


Friction can be a drag sometimes.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Remarkable Character.

Mrs. Gilson, an old and well known resident at Dublin, near Jasper, died this week and was buried in an old and abandoned cemetery at her own request beside her husband who had been buried there. She also requested that her favorite trinkets, a bow and arrow, an old silver half dollar, sleeve buttons and a book be buried in her coffin with her body. This was done.

Mrs. Gilson was known as the "marshal" on account of the peculiar habit she had of "laying down the law" to those who went contrary to her wishes. The following incident is a sample: Some years ago a new saloon opened up in Jasper and she warned the proprietor to not sell whiskey to her son. It appears that her son proved to be one of the first customers and learning of this, Mrs. Gilson went to the saloon and pulling two big revolvers on the barkeeper, reiterated her request with emphasis. The son received no more whiskey at the Jasper saloon.

  Today's Feature

City Rejects Donation from Lujene Clark.

Former City Council member Lujene Clark has offered to donate a sauna for the use of Fire Department personnel. The issue has been discussed informally for the last several months.

The Council Public Safety Committee failed to approve the donation during the last regular committee meeting.

According to the minutes of the meeting, "Chief Thompson reported that Mrs. Clark had relocated to Georgia but still has a sauna that she is very passionate about and would like to donate to the Fire Department. The sauna’s purpose is to be used as a detoxification tool for the personnel if they have been in contact with any hazardous materials during a haz-mat incident or a fire incident.

"After a short discussion, and Chief Thompson expressing that his biggest issue with the sauna is the public’s perception, Mr. Leibbrand made a motion to recommend accepting the sauna donation to be used to help firefighters de-toxify if exposed to any haz-mat situation, there was no second, motion failed."

Jasper County Jail Count

184August 29, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

Noticed a lot of convertibles with tops down the last few days. There was a time that I thought the idea of havin’ an air-conditioner in a convertible was really silly. I have, of course, since reconsidered that position.

I haven’t personally owned a convertible for a number of years, and I have ta assume that there have been improvements to the mechanics and function of the "rag top." The back window used ta always be a sensitive contraption. They zipped in place and got scratched easily as I remember. I do notice that there hasn’t been any easy solution to puttin’ on the "boot." Most of the vehicles I’ve seen run with that protective and aesthetic coverin’ not in place.

Havin’ a few days of favorable weather to run with the top down is fun, but thinkin’ back, it sure was work.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

To Your Good Health

By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Laxatives Have Gotten an Unfair Reputation

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: For the past two years, my husband has been trying to deal with constipation. We have tried everything -- lots of fruits and vegetables, prunes and fiber. He takes a spoonful of mineral oil daily. He is active and plays golf twice a week and walks 2 miles on the other mornings. A lifelong fear of becoming dependent on laxatives prevents him from taking any. We are at a loss about what to do. Any suggestions you make are appreciated. -- J.H.

ANSWER: A lack of fluids, too little fiber and inactivity are the major causes of constipation. Laxatives used to be thought of as dangerous remedies, to be used sparingly if at all. People do not develop a "laxative habit," and their colons are not harmed by them. Your husband has done all he can without any results.

It is much unhealthier for him to strain to eliminate than it is to take a laxative. He can use whichever one he wants. MiraLAX is a reliable one. Mineral oil is not great idea. If the oil goes down the wrong way and enters the lungs, it can cause big trouble. Once the laxative has restored normal movements, your husband ought to stay on his high-fiber diet. Fiber doesn’t always end constipation, but it does keep one regular.

Establishing a morning routine often works. Feeding a baby calls for a diaper change shortly thereafter. The brain sends a signal to the infant’s colon to empty. The same reflex works in adults, but we have dulled it deliberately. It can be restored by drinking a caffeinated beverage for breakfast and then taking a walk after eating.

Have your husband try this homemade remedy: Mix 2 cups of bran (obtained at a health-food store) with 2 cups of applesauce and 1 cup of prune juice, sweetened or unsweetened. Refrigerate the mix. Your husband can take up to three tablespoons twice a day. He should start with a smaller dose.

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