The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, August 31, 2011 Volume XX, Number 52

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes on Monday August 29 through Friday September 2. Areas will be sprayed in the evening of the day garbage is picked up between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight.

today's laugh

Martha Stewart’s Rules for Rednecks


1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.


1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the matter how good his manners are.


1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Did Well in a Ten Mile Race.

Arthur Alexander of this city, was quite successful in the ten mile road race at Joplin yesterday. There were twenty-nine entries and he had a three-minute handicap. He won fourth place and third time and thereby captured a pair of bicycle tires, a 20th century bicycle lamp, a pair of patent leather shoes and a two-pound box of Whitman’s candies.

The race was won in 29 minutes and ten seconds. Fen Clark of this city, was one of those who entered, but he fell after riding about three and one-half miles and so dropped out.


The Sons of Veterans will give a strawberry and ice cream festival in the Parkell building on the east side of the square Saturday night.


A fine baby boy arrived this morning at the home of councilman Guy Wells.

  Today's Feature

Stones Throw "On Golden Pond".

Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre has announced its upcoming performance of On Golden Pond written by Ernest Thompson and directed by Raven Micale. The cast for this show includes: Tom Brown as Norman, Betsy Fleischaker as Ethel, Kendra Goepfert as Chelsea, Mike Smith as Bill, Kyle Bridges as Charlie, Michael Rivera as Billy, Operator Hannah Marsh/Raven Micale

Performances will be held at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on September 15, 16, 17 & September 23, 24, 25, 2011.

For dinner shows: Thursday-Saturday doors open at 6:00 pm, dinner at 6:30 pm and show begins at 7:30 pm. Sunday performances, doors open at 12:30pm, dinner at 1:00pm with show beginning at 2:00pm.

Prices are $22.00 for adults, $19.00 for seniors over 55, $19.00 for youth (13-18), $10.00 for children (6-12), $19.00 for Students with ID, Children 5 and under are free. Opening night, Veterans with ID - $15.00.

Groups of 10 or more should call the theatre for prices. Reservations can be made by calling the theatre at 417-358-9665.

Jasper County Jail Count

193August 30, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

I don’t take the time ta remind folks very often, but take a minute outa your busy day ta thank those who allow us ta put the Mornin’ Mail out on their counters. I am reminded to remind ya because I just realized that we will be startin’ on our seventh year of existence as the "small, town newspaper" next week.

Along with our loyal sponsors, the folks that give us some room in their businesses make this operation work. ‘Course you, the readers are big part of the setup too. What really makes things click though is if the readers show their appreciation ever’ now and then for those who make the distribution of this paper possible.

If ya enjoy your daily dose of the unique information available about Carthage, let our sponsors and distribution establishments know it. Thanks.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• To fix a hole in drywall that requires a healthy helping of joint compound, cut a piece of screen slightly bigger than the hole and tack it to the inside of the drywall. You also can wad up a piece of aluminum foil and shove it in the hole, pressing it in a bit to create a recess for the compound. The foil will keep the compound at the site of the hole, allowing it to set up instead of fall down.

• "I recently did a little work on my car, and afterward I washed and waxed it. My tools got pretty grimy, so I cleaned them too. Since I had the wax out, I used it on several of them to keep them from rusting in storage." -- A Reader, via email

• Add a fabric-softener sheet to your vacuum bag when you change it. While you clean, you will distribute the good smell throughout your home. You also can use a cotton ball scented with your favorite essential oil or even perfume.

• If you have trouble threading needles, try spritzing some hairspray on your finger, and twist the end of the thread. It will keep the fibers together and stiffen it enough to be easily threaded.

• It’s still possible to save a bit of money on car maintenance if you can’t change your own oil. Learn common add-ons that you will be offered at oil-and-lube places. Air filters are surprisingly easy to replace on your own, and so are windshield wipers. Very often, the staff of auto-supply chains will lend you tools or even assist you right in the parking lot.

• Got bug bites? Try these for some relief from the itching of insect bites: apple-cider vinegar; a paste of baking soda and water, allowed to dry on the bite; a similar paste of meat tenderizer and water; or antiperspirant.

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