The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, August 4, 2011 Volume XX, Number 33

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The Carthage Crisis Center Presents A Free Furniture and Appliance Distribution for Tornado Survivors and other Needy Families At 9 AM on Saturday August 6, 2011 at 100 Main Street.

Did Ya Know?.. The American Legion & Auxiliary, Post 9, of Carthage are accepting donations for a rummage sale to be held August 27 & 28. Jerry Chapman 417-423-0096, D Murphey 417-359-6161

today's laugh

It’s a terribly hard job to spend a billion dollars and get your money’s worth.

The minister was called in for the reading of the will of a wealthy businessman who had passed away. He and the many relatives were disappointed to hear the contents. . "Being of sound mind and body, I spent it all."


What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

When old Seth Abernathy celebrated his hundredth birthday, a reporter said to him, "Pop, I’ll bet you’ve seen plenty of changes around these parts,"

"Yep," agreed Seth. "And I’ve been against every durn one of them."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Hungry Burglar.

Yesterday while the family of H.H. Paulding, living four miles northeast of this city, were all away from home attending church, a thief entered the house through a window and took a pair of new shoes, some bread, two pounds of butter, a stomach full of milk, jelly, and pickles.

Court Cases:

The suit of Wm. Stagg, of Prosperity, for $1,000 in damages against the city of Carthage for injuries received in falling into a sewer on Garrison Avenue, is now occupying the attention of the court.

N.E. Bolle was given a judgement for $1 against Aaron Myers.

Chas Summers pleaded guilty to an indictment for petit larceny and was sentenced to three years in the penitentiary.

  Today's Feature

State Will Pay Remaining Clean-up Costs.

Politicmo - Gov. Jay Nixon visited Joplin Monday to announce the state intends to cover the remaining expedited debris removal costs, both state and local costs, not covered by the federal government’s 90 percent funding.

A major factor in the decision, he said, was that the state and local tax bases were disrupted as a result of the storm. Ahead of the September special session of the state legislature, Nixon has asked the Missouri Dept. of Revenue and the Missouri State Tax admission to work with the county to review the impact on local revenues.

"With thousands of homes and hundreds of businesses destroyed on May 22, it’s important to know the scope and impact of lost revenue on providing those vital services," he said.

Since May 22, the the Army Corps of Enginners and local contractors have removed nearly 1.13 million cubic yards of debris — some 91 percent. Nixon said he hopes FEMA extends their deadline two weeks past August 2 in order to cover the entire debris removal process.

Jasper County Jail Count

172 August 3, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County



By Monte Dutton

Fate Turns on

Jamie McMurray

What a difference a year makes.

A victory in the 2010 Brickyard 400 was quite an accomplishment in itself for Jamie McMurray. Except that he also won the Daytona 500, not to mention the Bank of America 500 at Charlotte.

Yet, in spite of victories in NASCAR’s two most prestigious races, McMurray, 35, failed to make the Chase for the Sprint Cup. Though the Joplin, Mo., native has won six Sprint Cup races in his career, he has never finished a season in the top 10 of the point standings.

This year, to date, has been a disaster. McMurray’s numbers aren’t just disappointing. They are ruinous. He is 29th in the point standings, with only two top-10 finishes and none in the top five. He still drives the No. 1 Chevy of Earnhardt Ganassi Racing with Felix Sabates. The difference, for McMurray and crew chief Kevin "Bono" Manion, is that McMurray’s Impala hasn’t been fast nearly as often.

"There is certainly nothing wrong with our cars," said McMurray. "We just haven’t hit on it. New tires have thrown us off at a lot of tracks ... and man, we’ve just really struggled."

McMurray has a knack for Indianapolis Motor Speedway, though. His first Brickyard 400, in 2003, yielded a third-place finish. He’s finished seventh or better four times.

A year ago, McMurray led only 16 of the 160 laps, most notably the final 11, to outduel another perennial Indy contender, Kevin Harvick.

"I’m running the last 10 laps of this race and just praying every lap there isn’t going to be a caution (period) and that my car was going to have to grip it needed," said McMurray afterward. "It’s remarkable to be put in this position, and honestly, I’m in shock right now. ... Man, when it’s your day, it’s your day."

"I’m a big believer in fate, and this was just meant to be."

Fate has largely turned on him during the current season. Perhaps McMurray is due for a rally in the second half of the season.

Just Jake Talkin'

As fast as today’s drip pots are, the first pot a coffee never gets done fast enough. I am typically standin’ with cup in hand waitin’ for the drip process (although I would argue that a perked cup tastes better) to run its course.

I wait ‘till the drip ceases, remove the pot to pour a cup, and the maker spews a last shot of coffee all over the counter.

Sometimes I get the feelin’ that there is some semi-intelligent, aggravating munchkin livin’ inside my coffee machine, patiently watchin’ for me to remove the pot just long enough for that last spurt of coffee

There are reasonable solutions to this almost daily confrontation I’m sure. But the use of large hammers and other implements of destruction in the kitchen is frowned upon in my household.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

I need to know if I’m being a jerk. Every day, I use a left exit ramp on the highway that starts out one lane wide. A second lane begins on the right -- it brings no new traffic; it begins at a barrier. At the end of the ramp, about 100 yards on, the road narrows again to one lane, and there’s a "merge" sign. So most drivers stay in the left lane, even after the new right lane starts.

But a few aggressive drivers move into the right lane as soon as it begins, zoom ahead of 20 or 30 cars. OK, this bothers me -- people are cutting in line.

So here is what I do: I move into the new right lane, but I creep along and DO NOT pass anyone. There is empty pavement ahead of me, but I stay even with the car next to me, in the left lane. People who do not try to game the system benefit from my action. People who try to pass 20 or 30 cars using the temporary extra lane are stymied.

So here is the conundrum: Am I a jerk for slowing down the folks taking advantage of the temporary right lane? -- Jake

TOM: You’ve taken the law into your own hands, and have decided to pin a homemade badge on your chest.

RAY: While obnoxious, it’s also not clear that what these impatient drivers are doing is necessarily illegal. I’m guessing that the reason for the additional (right) lane is to make sure there’s plenty of capacity on the ramp so that exiting cars don’t back up onto the highway.

TOM: Now, if they’re exceeding the speed limit or passing on the right where it’s not permitted, well, that’s an issue for the police, Jake.

RAY: As much as it annoys you -- we’re sympathetic; aggressive drivers can be annoying -we suggest that you take a deep breath and relax, and let karma take its course.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.