Murphys Law regarding Children
1. The later you stay up, the earlier
your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean,
something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space
4. The longer it takes you to make a
meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only child who
6. If the shoe fits..its
7. The surest way to get something done
is to tell a child not to do it.
8. The gooier the food, the more likely
it is to end up on the carpet.
9. Backing the car out of the driveway
causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
That Drill Is In
The Joplin Globe this
morning gets off the
following under the head
of "Where is that Drill?":
"Some time last year a great deal
of curiosity was aroused as well as lively expectations
of a decided innovation in the work of sinking shafts by
the announcement that an important attachment had been
patented by a Carthage inventor for a drill that would
drill a hole at least 24 inches in diameter with the same
ease that the ordinary prospect drill now in use will
drill a hole from 4 to 8 inches. The new drill looks as
if it would be a success, and some well known drill men
became interested in its manufacture, but from the
results so far it has not achieved much more notoriety
than the wonderful printing press invented by a Carthage
genius. It is to be hope that the inventor, Jake Barker,
is still progressing."
The members of the Spare Cat
Rescue organization have announced that the group
has arranged to have 82 feral cats
spayed/neutered in fourteen colonies in Carthage.
The City approved Trap/Neuter
and return program allows the organization to
sponsor caregivers in the Carthage area for the
feral cat colonies. Spare Cat Rescue offers
caregivers with advice on maintaining a feral
colony and where to find financial help.
The other focus of the group is
helping shelter cats find homes. Every Saturday
members transport cats and dogs from the Carthage
shelter to the Joplin PETsMART for adoption.
Their efforts have placed nearly 2,000 cats and
over 200 dogs in homes since their founding in
2004. They also sponsor many "last
chance" shelter pets by paying part of all
of their adoption fees.
All donations to the
organization are tax deductible and go toward
improving the lives of cats through various
programs. Programs can be specified. For
information email email@example.com
County Jail Count
175 November 30,
Including Placed out of County
A friend a mine just got
one a those "free" puppies.
It began by learnin
the choices cuts of various pieces of
furniture. Those chewy morsels that never
quite look the same after a few weeks of dog
If ya notice, owners are
always asked to attend obedience classes
along with the dog. Ive often wondered
exactly who was bein trained.
Course dogs learn fast, just like kids.
They know what they can get away with and
eventually the owners come to understand the
This new pup will have a
good home and probly get away with
enough to make everone happy. Im
gonna wait a few weeks ta visit so as ta not
disturb the ritual of gettin into the
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
I currently have the misfortune
of needing to drive a beat-up 1995 Volvo 850,
which I share with my husband. As a general rule,
I try not to argue with him on any subject
involving cars. Alas, during this past week,
something about this wretched Volvo went wrong,
forcing me to open a dialogue with Mr.
Know-It-All-About-Cars. Out of the blue, the
blinkers quit working. Once in a while, the
signals work, but most of the time they
dont. My husband stubbornly refuses to
believe that they dont work. He claims that
they are working just fine for him, ergo I must
be doing something to keep them from working! Can
you please help me, ASAP?
RAY: Gee, this guy sounds like
a real gem, Terry. How do you keep the other
girls away from him?
TOM: The blinkers absolutely
can fail intermittently. A lot of electronic
parts fail that way. There are three things that
could be at fault here.
RAY: The cheapest, and easiest
to fix, is the hazard switch. The hazard switch
in this car contains a relay, which also is used
by the directional switch. If the relay is
sticky, that can cause the directionals to fail
TOM: The second possibility is
that the directional switch itself -- the stalk
that sticks out of the steering column -- is
failing. Thats also pretty easy to fix. If
thats the part thats dying,
youre looking at spending around $100.
RAY: And if none of those ideas
works, youll have to divorce your husband
and use the settlement to buy a new car, Terry.
Thatll cost HIM $100,000. Remind him of
that if he keeps refusing to help you.
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