The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 1, 2011 Volume XX, Number 118

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Free Christmas Gift Wrapping to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation will be held thru Christmas Eve from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. at 116 W. 2nd St. (former Bank of America bank lobby) donations accepted.

today's laugh

Murphy’s Law regarding Children

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.

6. If the shoe’s expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

That Drill Is In Joplin.

The Joplin Globe this morning gets off the

following under the head of "Where is that Drill?":

"Some time last year a great deal of curiosity was aroused as well as lively expectations of a decided innovation in the work of sinking shafts by the announcement that an important attachment had been patented by a Carthage inventor for a drill that would drill a hole at least 24 inches in diameter with the same ease that the ordinary prospect drill now in use will drill a hole from 4 to 8 inches. The new drill looks as if it would be a success, and some well known drill men became interested in its manufacture, but from the results so far it has not achieved much more notoriety than the wonderful printing press invented by a Carthage genius. It is to be hope that the inventor, Jake Barker, is still progressing."

  Today's Feature

Spare Cat Rescue.

The members of the Spare Cat Rescue organization have announced that the group has arranged to have 82 feral cats spayed/neutered in fourteen colonies in Carthage.

The City approved Trap/Neuter and return program allows the organization to sponsor caregivers in the Carthage area for the feral cat colonies. Spare Cat Rescue offers caregivers with advice on maintaining a feral colony and where to find financial help.

The other focus of the group is helping shelter cats find homes. Every Saturday members transport cats and dogs from the Carthage shelter to the Joplin PETsMART for adoption. Their efforts have placed nearly 2,000 cats and over 200 dogs in homes since their founding in 2004. They also sponsor many "last chance" shelter pets by paying part of all of their adoption fees.

All donations to the organization are tax deductible and go toward improving the lives of cats through various programs. Programs can be specified. For information email

Jasper County Jail Count

175 November 30, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

A friend a mine just got one a those "free" puppies.

It began by learnin’ the choices cuts of various pieces of furniture. Those chewy morsels that never quite look the same after a few weeks of dog trainin’.

If ya notice, owners are always asked to attend obedience classes along with the dog. I’ve often wondered exactly who was bein’ trained. ‘Course dogs learn fast, just like kids. They know what they can get away with and eventually the owners come to understand the relationship also.

This new pup will have a good home and probl’y get away with enough to make ever’one happy. I’m gonna wait a few weeks ta visit so as ta not disturb the ritual of gettin’ into the routine.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I currently have the misfortune of needing to drive a beat-up 1995 Volvo 850, which I share with my husband. As a general rule, I try not to argue with him on any subject involving cars. Alas, during this past week, something about this wretched Volvo went wrong, forcing me to open a dialogue with Mr. Know-It-All-About-Cars. Out of the blue, the blinkers quit working. Once in a while, the signals work, but most of the time they don’t. My husband stubbornly refuses to believe that they don’t work. He claims that they are working just fine for him, ergo I must be doing something to keep them from working! Can you please help me, ASAP?

-- Terry

RAY: Gee, this guy sounds like a real gem, Terry. How do you keep the other girls away from him?

TOM: The blinkers absolutely can fail intermittently. A lot of electronic parts fail that way. There are three things that could be at fault here.

RAY: The cheapest, and easiest to fix, is the hazard switch. The hazard switch in this car contains a relay, which also is used by the directional switch. If the relay is sticky, that can cause the directionals to fail sometimes.

TOM: The second possibility is that the directional switch itself -- the stalk that sticks out of the steering column -- is failing. That’s also pretty easy to fix. If that’s the part that’s dying, you’re looking at spending around $100.

RAY: And if none of those ideas works, you’ll have to divorce your husband and use the settlement to buy a new car, Terry. That’ll cost HIM $100,000. Remind him of that if he keeps refusing to help you.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.