What you dont know doesnt hurt you,
but amuses a lot of people.
I had a wooden whistle but it wooden
whistle. So I bought a steel whistle but it steel
wouldnt whistle. So I bought a tin whistle and now
I tin whistle.
The magicians wife knew he was up
to his old tricks because she discovered a hare on his
I bought a waterproof, shockproof,
unbreakable watchand lost it.
Dot- "Whats the matter with
Dash- "Im terribly worried.
I wrote Jack in my last letter to forget that I had told
him I didnt mean to reconsider my decision about
not changing my mind, and he seems to have misunderstood
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Struck by Electric
Tom English, who represents the English
Supply and Engine Co. of Kansas City, in Joplin, was
seriously injured at the Fourth street crossing of the
electric line in the western limits of Webb City last
night between 11 and 12 oclock.
Accompanied by a woman, he was driving
toward Joplin in his buggy and neared the crossing just
as the 11:42 car from Webb City came along. He was
evidently blinded by the electric headlight and
miscalculated the distance of the car, for the buggy was
squarely across the track when the car struck it. The
vehicle was smashed into kindling wood, and Mr. English
was knocked senseless, but the woman was only slightly
L. Hull, superintendent of the Pleasant
Valley mine, has rented the J. M. White residence on
Garrison avenue and will move in by next month.
The City Council Public Safety
Committee met in a special session last week to
address the conversion of fire engine E-612 which
was involved in an accident on November 7, 2011.
The truck was scheduled to be converted to a
dedicated tanker next year and a new fire engine
Fire Chief Chris Thompson
proposed to go ahead with the conversion now and
apply insurance money toward that end. He also
requested that the department be given permission
to begin the process of determining the
specifications for a new fire engine. He
estimated the time to spec and build a new fire
engine is between four and six months which would
result in a July 2012 delivery date.
The Chief also requested
permission to submit a grant application to the
Steadley Trust Board in the amount of $100,000 to
be used toward the conversion of E-612 to a
The Committee voted to submit
the requests to the full Council for their
County Jail Count
? December 9,
Including Placed out of County
Ive heard talk about
it, but Ive never recognized if I was
in a state of post Christmas blues.
Now there is the
possibility that I live in a constant state
of the ailment and just dont notice the
difference. Im more likely to think
its more a matter of expectations.
A friend a mine, as a child
at his grandmothers for Christmas,
opened his gift and found a pair of socks.
"Dang," he said
as he threw them on the floor, "Id
rather had the money."
Most likely the grandmother
felt a little twinge of the blues right away,
not waitin for the "post" to
I suppose it takes a little
more maturity to really appreciate a good
pair a socks for Christmas.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
THIS IS A HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Q: As you know, you are not
supposed to drive and use a cell phone at the
same time. I did the responsible thing and
purchased a Bluetooth headset. Now the battery
has died, and I cant find a replacement at
any local retail stores (Home Depot, CVS,
Wal-Mart). Where in my region can I purchase AAAA
batteries? --- Erik in Coventry
A: A store specializing in
electronics would be your best bet (Circuit City,
Best Buy, MicroCenter). You also can order them
over the Internet -- try the Web sites of any one
of these major electronics retailers or
Amazon.com, which sells many items besides books.
Q: In response to your column
about a visiting mother-in-law who complained she
was cold all the time, your answer didnt
cover one possibility. In a lot of houses with
one central heating system, the doors to all
rooms should be left open all the time so that
return air circulates evenly throughout the house
and all rooms stay the same temperature.
If one person closes their door
at night for privacy reasons, that door seals off
air circulation so no warm air can enter from the
register. A crack under the door would let that
warm air in, but if there is no such opening, air
cannot circulate into that room, and it gets
cold. The next day when the door is open again,
no problem can be found because air is
circulating through the open door. -- Jack H.,
A: Thats definitely a
possibility. Having grown up in the South, where
central heat was often jury-rigged into older
homes -- so not every room had a register -- it
was not uncommon for closed-off rooms to get
chilly. Thanks for your suggestion. Perhaps the
mother-in-law could leave her bedroom door open
just a bit to let air circulate.
HOME TIP: Not sure whether a
furnaces air filter needs changing? Hold
the filter up to a light -- if the filter blocks
most of the light, replace it.
HOME TIP: Moss growth on cedar
shakes and shingles can be reduced by nailing
copper or zinc strips along the ridge cap of the
roof or above the shakes; rain runoff from these
strips will retard fungal growth.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.