The surgeon walked up to the patient and said
"Ah Mr Jones, I have some good news and some bad
news". The patient said "Well you better give
me the bad news first".
The doctor said, "Well we kinda
got the charts mixed up a bit and we amputated your feet
The patient very distraught is now
sobbing and saying "Oh my God, well please tell me
what the good news is".
The doctor said "Its not so
bad, you see, the guy in the bed next to you wants to buy
Well Caddy, How do you like my game?
Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer
Without geometry, life is pointless.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
To Agitate a
"While the matter of freight rates
is being considered, I think we will also take up the
matter of securing a connecting switch between the two
roads here," said a member of the commercial club
this morning. Either this committee on rates or the
commercial club itself will probably attend to it.
Switches of the two roads can easily be joined on
"A man who wishes to transfer a
carload lot from one road to the other, the other day,
had to have it hauled in wagons, a very expensive
process. I dont know of a town anywhere, with two
roads, that has not a connecting switch."
Mrs. A. A. Ramsay assisted by Mrs. F.
H. Fitch and Mrs. Don Hamilton entertained tonight in
honor of Misses Julia Mitchell and Nellie Hamilton.
Blunt Moves Up.
Sen. Roy Blunt, R-Mo. was
elected Tuesday to the fifth highest seat in
Senate Republican leadership.
In a secret vote, Republicans
chose Blunt over Sen. Ron Johnson, a freshman
Republican from Wisconsin.
The fight for the seat was
framed as a battle between the establishment and
Tea Party wings of the Republican party. Monday,
Johnson announced a list of public supporters
including freshmen Sen.s Rand Paul, Marco
Rubio, and nearly a dozen other conservative
Blunt waged a quiet campaign
for the post, which opened up earlier this year
when Sen. Lamar Alexander announced he would step
down from his seat as Republican Conference
"I hope this opportunity
will allow me to continue contributing to the
critical debates that were facing in
America," Blunt said in a statement.
Democratic Sen. Claire
McCaskill, offered her support after
"Congratulations to my
colleague Sen. Blunt on his election to
Republican leadership," McCaskill said in a
tweet. "Good for Missouri and for the
County Jail Count
176 December 13,
Including Placed out of County
Just for the record, the
Mornin Mail will not accept any more
letters to the editor that are more than one
column in length.
Although we have some folks
out there that can actually hold the
attention of the readers for more than a
column, space limitations are a factor.
As Im sure our
readers are aware, we publish bout
anyones opinion. We do not print
opinions on personal religious beliefs,
abortion, or the death penalty. Anything else
is pretty much fair game as long as there are
no personal slams or reference to
Just as a reminder,
opinions are just that and the Mail
doesnt necessarily agree with or even
believe opinions that are stated as fact.
Course theres always exceptions.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
"At the beginning
of the holiday decorating season, I was stumped
about what went where. This year, I have solved
that dilemma. I took pictures of the decorations
up on the house, and where I placed different
things inside the house. I had them developed,
and I am packing them with the decorations --
right on the top of the bins that will go in the
attic. Next year, I will know just where to put
things." -- I.O., via e-mail
"We have a
tradition in our family, especially with the
younger children. After the holiday, we gather
once more for a different sort of party: a
thank-you-note party. We get together, have a
light lunch and have the kids write out simple
thank-you notes for gifts or cards received from
friends and relatives. It reinforces the idea of
thankfulness and manners, and it helps that they
all do it together." -- F.R. in Ohio
Its been said
before, but well keep saying it: Stock up
on supplies at post-holiday sales. Wrapping
paper, greeting cards, gift tags, holiday
decorations, party supplies -- all can be found
at a steep discount a mere week after the
"My two next-door
neighbors and I have a fun thing we do after
Christmas. We have an un-decorating party. We
draw straws to see whose house gets done first,
second and third, and in that order we provide
breakfast, lunch and dinner. Its always a
great time, and were done fast. Its
the holiday party I look forward to the
most." -- W.K. in Alabama
"I am always on the
lookout for the perfect greeting card. I keep a
list with me for the whole year of events, as
well as holidays. This way, I can get great cards
for minor holidays on sale after the date. I
organize my greeting cards by month. I have a
three-ring binder that has 12 plastic sleeves
labeled with the month and all the events that
month. When I get a great birthday card, I slip
it into the appropriate month. I even stamp it
and address it." -- V.G. in Arizona
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.