The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 15, 2011 Volume XX, Number 128

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...Free Christmas Gift Wrapping to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation will be held thru Christmas Eve from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. at 116 W. 2nd St. (former Bank of America bank lobby) donations accepted.

Did Ya Know?...The Nazarene Church at 2000 Grand will host an American Red Cross blood drive on Thursday, Dec. 15 from 11:30 a.m. until 6 p.m. Donors will receive a Red Cross t-shirt.

today's laugh

The first Jewish woman President is elected.

She calls her Mother: "Mama, I’ve won the election, you’ve got to come to the swearing-in ceremony."

"I don’t know, what would I wear?"

"Don’t worry, I’ll send you a dressmaker."

"But I only eat kosher food."

"Mama, I am going to be the President, I can get you kosher food."

"But how will I get there?"

"I’ll send a limo, just come Mama."

"OK, OK, if it makes you happy."

The great day comes and Mama is seated between the supreme court justices and the future cabinet members. She nudges the gentleman on her right.

"You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible? Her brother’s a Doctor!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Story of Absorbing Interest.

The appearance of Charles B. Hanford at the Grand next Tuesday evening is an event of unusual interest, affording as it does the first opportunity of seeing him in a modern drama. His impersonations of the great characters have been marked by so much intellectuality as well as personal grace that anything he does is awaited with confidence, and the fact that he stands sponsor for "Private John Allen" is in itself a very high and convincing indorsement of its merits. The play presents a picture of life in the far south, with characters drawn from real people, and with complications and climaxes which give the plot absorbing interest. Private John Allen is a man of heroic mould—one of the noble natures which command admiration whether they be portrayed in a toga or in a frock coat. His sacrifices for the sake of country and for the woman he loves form the basis of the story.

  Today's Feature

Have Mercy.

Mercy will begin operating the 52-bed McCune-Brooks Hospital in Carthage, Mo., on Jan. 1, 2012. The announcement follows a recent unanimous vote by the Carthage City Council.

McCune-Brooks and Mercy formed a partnership after St. John’s Mercy Hospital in Joplin took a direct hit from an EF5 tornado. Health needs related to the tornado doubled the Carthage hospital’s patient load. In response, Mercy financed a $1.8 million gift to expand the city-owned hospital from 25 to 52 beds, and provided staff and equipment to add a third surgery suite.

Under the 50-year lease agreement, Mercy will make payments of about $3 million a year to pay off the $40 million in debt remaining from the hospital’s construction, plus an additional $250,000 in annual payments. Mercy will also invest $20 to $30 million to improve services in Carthage which will include extending its sophisticated electronic health record (EHR) system to the hospital.

Jasper County Jail Count

176 December 14, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

There’s prob’ly nothin’ more irritatin’ that havin’ someone ya don’t recognize wave real big at ya from across the street.

It’s not the fact they’re bein’ friendly that is the problem. The irritatin’ part is spendin’ the rest of the day tryin’ to figure out who they are. Even days latter ya find yourself spendin’ a few seconds tryin’ to remember.

I suppose that is one a the problems with livin’ in a small town. You can irritate folks without even tryin’.

It’s like the old trick we’d play as kids. Standin’ on a busy street corner and pointin’ up to the sky. ‘Fore long ever’one is tryin’ to see what you’re pointin’ at.

If ya want to really befuddle someone ya don’t know, pick a busy spot and walk up and tell ‘em how good it is to see ‘em again.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I have a beloved 1998 Plymouth Voyager Minivan with only 83,000 miles. It has new tires, and was recently serviced (new plugs, leaks plugged, tuneup, etc., for about $2,000). Last month, I had a bizarre accident and crashed the rear of the car into a cement post. I gave the rear of the car a huge wedgie, broke the back window and badly damaged the left side of car as well. I want to sell the car to someone, who may want the engine and/or the tires. How do I find such a buyer?-- Barbara

TOM: I guess "bizarre accident" means you backed into a cement post while talking on the phone, Barbara. Was this one of those accidents that ends with the phrase "I’ll have to call you back"?

RAY: Well, a good engine for a ‘98 Chrysler minivan does have some value. It’s probably worth $500-$700 these days. And the tires are worth something, too.

TOM: The problem, as you well know, is finding a buyer who happens to need just these particular parts right now. That’s traditionally been the job of the junk yard. That’s one way to go.

RAY: Of course, junk-yard owners have to make a living, so they may give you $250 or $300 for the whole vehicle. Then they’ll take it apart and sell the parts for much more, in total.

TOM: So my suggestion would be to try advertising it on one of the websites where people sell each other their junk, like Craigslist or eBay, for instance. Say you’re looking for someone who wants it for the engine and parts, and see what happens.

RAY: You might find a nearby do-it-yourselfer who just drove his ‘98 Voyager into a cement pole frontward, and is looking for exactly that engine.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.