The first Jewish woman President is elected.
She calls her Mother: "Mama,
Ive won the election, youve got to come to
the swearing-in ceremony."
"I dont know, what would I
"Dont worry, Ill send
you a dressmaker."
"But I only eat kosher food."
"Mama, I am going to be the
President, I can get you kosher food."
"But how will I get there?"
"Ill send a limo, just come
"OK, OK, if it makes you
The great day comes and Mama is seated
between the supreme court justices and the future cabinet
members. She nudges the gentleman on her right.
"You see that girl, the one with
her hand on the Bible? Her brothers a Doctor!"
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Story of Absorbing
The appearance of Charles B. Hanford at
the Grand next Tuesday evening is an event of unusual
interest, affording as it does the first opportunity of
seeing him in a modern drama. His impersonations of the
great characters have been marked by so much
intellectuality as well as personal grace that anything
he does is awaited with confidence, and the fact that he
stands sponsor for "Private John Allen" is in
itself a very high and convincing indorsement of its
merits. The play presents a picture of life in the far
south, with characters drawn from real people, and with
complications and climaxes which give the plot absorbing
interest. Private John Allen is a man of heroic
mouldone of the noble natures which command
admiration whether they be portrayed in a toga or in a
frock coat. His sacrifices for the sake of country and
for the woman he loves form the basis of the story.
Mercy will begin operating the
52-bed McCune-Brooks Hospital in Carthage, Mo.,
on Jan. 1, 2012. The announcement follows a
recent unanimous vote by the Carthage City
McCune-Brooks and Mercy formed
a partnership after St. Johns Mercy
Hospital in Joplin took a direct hit from an EF5
tornado. Health needs related to the tornado
doubled the Carthage hospitals patient
load. In response, Mercy financed a $1.8 million
gift to expand the city-owned hospital from 25 to
52 beds, and provided staff and equipment to add
a third surgery suite.
Under the 50-year lease
agreement, Mercy will make payments of about $3
million a year to pay off the $40 million in debt
remaining from the hospitals construction,
plus an additional $250,000 in annual payments.
Mercy will also invest $20 to $30 million to
improve services in Carthage which will include
extending its sophisticated electronic health
record (EHR) system to the hospital.
County Jail Count
176 December 14,
Including Placed out of County
nothin more irritatin that
havin someone ya dont recognize
wave real big at ya from across the street.
Its not the fact
theyre bein friendly that is the
problem. The irritatin part is
spendin the rest of the day tryin
to figure out who they are. Even days latter
ya find yourself spendin a few seconds
tryin to remember.
I suppose that is one a the
problems with livin in a small town.
You can irritate folks without even
Its like the old
trick wed play as kids. Standin
on a busy street corner and pointin up
to the sky. Fore long everone is
tryin to see what youre
If ya want to really
befuddle someone ya dont know, pick a
busy spot and walk up and tell em how
good it is to see em again.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
I have a beloved 1998 Plymouth
Voyager Minivan with only 83,000 miles. It has
new tires, and was recently serviced (new plugs,
leaks plugged, tuneup, etc., for about $2,000).
Last month, I had a bizarre accident and crashed
the rear of the car into a cement post. I gave
the rear of the car a huge wedgie, broke the back
window and badly damaged the left side of car as
well. I want to sell the car to someone, who may
want the engine and/or the tires. How do I find
such a buyer?-- Barbara
TOM: I guess "bizarre
accident" means you backed into a cement
post while talking on the phone, Barbara. Was
this one of those accidents that ends with the
phrase "Ill have to call you
RAY: Well, a good engine for a
98 Chrysler minivan does have some value.
Its probably worth $500-$700 these days.
And the tires are worth something, too.
TOM: The problem, as you well
know, is finding a buyer who happens to need just
these particular parts right now. Thats
traditionally been the job of the junk yard.
Thats one way to go.
RAY: Of course, junk-yard
owners have to make a living, so they may give
you $250 or $300 for the whole vehicle. Then
theyll take it apart and sell the parts for
much more, in total.
TOM: So my suggestion would be
to try advertising it on one of the websites
where people sell each other their junk, like
Craigslist or eBay, for instance. Say youre
looking for someone who wants it for the engine
and parts, and see what happens.
RAY: You might find a nearby
do-it-yourselfer who just drove his 98
Voyager into a cement pole frontward, and is
looking for exactly that engine.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.