Jack and Joan were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
But soon Jack realized that he would
need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early morning
drive with some pals to a golf match.
Not wanting to be the first to break
the silence (and therefore lose the "war"), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5
The next morning, Jack woke up, only to
discover that it was 9 a.m. and that his friends left for
the golf course without him.
Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadnt awakened him when he noticed a piece
of paper by the bed.
The paper read, "Its 5 a.m.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pit bull.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
His Tire Exploded.
Chas. L. Cooper the piano man at H. P.
Halls was party to a momentary sensation on the
northwest corner of the square yesterday when his bicycle
tire exploded with a bang, attracting attention from all
parts of the square. A head appeared in every upstairs
window, only to see the crest fallen Mr. Cooper meekly
escort a dilapidated wheel down to Peebles repair
shop. The hole in the tire was as big as a dollar, both
in size and cost.
The annual complaint against Ike
Beechum, the drayman and hog grower has been filed,
charging his with maintaining a nuisance in the shape of
dead carcasses and his hog ranch on the road east of
town. He will be tried in Squire Carsons court, in
Attorney General Chris Koster
cautions consumers to beware of holiday charity
scams and offered tips to make sure their money
is going to a legitimate charity.
"The generosity of
Missourians is truly heartwarming, and though
most charities do tremendous work and spend
donations wisely, there are those that actually
do little to help those they claim to
support," Koster said. Koster said there are
steps you can take to make sure you are not a
victim of the scam artists:
· Be aware of charities that
use emotional appeals for fundraising. Some key
topics to look for are the use of children or
mention of recent disasters, like tornadoes or
· Do not give to a charity
that contacts you by phone. If you would like to
donate to the charity, ask for a mailing address
to mail your donation directly. Be sure to check
out their website.
· When in doubt, call the
charity yourself and ask if they are aware of the
solicitations being done in their name. Many
cases have been reported of unauthorized
County Jail Count
?? December 17,
Including Placed out of County
I grew up hearin ya
gota jump in and start swimmin. The
idea bein that ya cant sit around
waitin for somethin ta happen.
Course, as water
safety folks will explain, its not such a
good idea to jump in head first if ya
arent familiar with the swimmin
Im guessin that
most folks have felt they got in a little
deeper than they anticipated ever now
and then. Thats when the rest of the
lesson comes in. "Learn from your
mistakes and go on."
I suppose that havin
an attitude that gettin your feet a
little wet now and then is a good thing.
Id hate ta think that everthing
has been tried thats worth tryin.
Itd be a shame ta not have anything
left ta learn.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I have lived
with my boyfriend for a year, and we are going to
get married soon. One obstacle to marriage for me
is his snoring. Its so loud that I cannot
sleep with him. He starts out with a soft snore
that builds into a sound that rivals a jet
engine. He says snoring is a family thing for
He is tired all day long. He
works hard, comes home, takes a nap, eats and
then says hes still tired. He sleeps a lot
on weekends, too. Does snoring have anything to
do with this? -- B.K.
ANSWER: Let me describe sleep
apnea, and you judge whether it applies to your
fiance. Typically, it involves snoring that gets
louder and louder and then suddenly stops.
Silence reigns. After a short while, the snorer
makes a grunting sound and the snoring cycle
The period of silence is the
apnea period. "Apnea" means "no
breathing." Apnea episodes last 10 or more
seconds, and they end when the snorer makes a
grunting sound and resumes his snoring. During
apnea, blood oxygen content dips, and the dip
partially rouses the person to begin breathing.
Sleep apnea is a health menace.
The drop in blood oxygen has several important
consequences. It affects the heart and can lead
to dangerous heart rhythms. People with sleep
apnea often develop high blood pressure and all
the complications of increased pressure. These
people do not get restorative sleep. They feel
drugged during the day.
The diagnosis of sleep apnea is
made with special studies done in a sleep lab.
Portable equipment is available for home testing.
If your fiance is overweight,
weight loss might put an end to snoring and
apnea. He should drink no alcohol after 5 p.m. A
CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure)
machine keeps air flowing past the throat
obstruction that blocks its entry into the lungs.
Talk your fiance into discussing these matters
with his doctor.
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