| today's
laugh Here in Kentucky, you don’t see too many
people hang-gliding. Ol’ Zeek decided to save up and
get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain,
and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take
flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge--into
the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were
sittin’ on the porch swing talkin’ bout the
good ol’ days when maw spots the biggest bird she
ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird,
Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up, "Git my gun,
Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his
pump shotgun. He takes careful aim.
BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird
continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw,"
she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but
at least he let go of ol’ Zeek!"
Q. What do you get if you cross the
Godfather with a philosopher?
A. An offer you can’t understand
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Was a Story of
Hypnosis.
The "Hindoo Hoodoo" last
night at the Grand was the story of a disciple of
Mahatma, an Indian sorcerer, who hypnotized two men and
sent their souls to the stars, then called one of them
back and sent it into the wrong man, when his occult
power failed. The play then was a series of funny breaks,
in love and business, made by one man who thought he was
somebody else.
A fair-sized audience attended. The two
leading parts were well played and the support was quite
good. The audience was kept in an almost constant laugh
from start to finish.
Fred Blair is very thankful to several
friends who on Christmas sent a turkey and some other
articles to his old father, Berry Blair, who has been
sick for over a year past and is partially paralyzed,
depending on his son for support.
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Today's Feature SHOP WITH A
DEPUTY.
The generosity of individuals
and businesses in Jasper County ment the Jasper
County Sheriff’s Office and local volunteers
were able to take 117 children shopping on
Saturday, December 17, 2011 at the Carthage
Wal-Mart for the annual Shop with a Deputy event.
Each child was able to spend
$100.00. Reportedly, a lot of bikes, clothes and
toys leave Wal-Mart that day. The kids seemed to
have a great time and were very appreciative of
everything they received. There was also a lot of
positive feedback from the parents as well as the
volunteers and the employees of Wal-Mart.
Food Baskets.
With extra moneys, the
Sheriff’s Office bought and delivered 35
baskets of food to deserving residents of Jasper
County.
The program, an expansion of
the Shop with a Deputy program, enables select
Jasper County families to enjoy a few more food
items during the Holiday season.
Most of the recipients are
unable to get out and shop for themselves, so
Department felt it eased some of their burden.
Jasper
County Jail Count
179 December 28,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I saw somewhere that one
copy of the New York Times contains more
information than a person would have been
exposed to in a lifetime back in the
1500’s. I suppose on some level that may
be fact, but I doubt that the information in
any newspaper woulda been much use.
Today the problem seems ta
be more of information overload. So much
stuff bein’ shoved in the head that the
challenge is to sort through ta find
somethin’ relevant.
The nice thing about a
newspaper is you can pick and choose what ya
spend time learnin’. Browse through and
pick out things you’re interested in,
use the rest to wrap fish or line the bird
cage.
The one thing that
hasn’t changed in the last few hunderd
years, we still want ta know what our
neighbors are up to.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Do you have drawers that
stick? If they’re made of wood, just grab a
candle and rub the side over the tops of both
rails. The wax provides just the right amount of
lubrication to keep those drawers sliding in and
out without a fight!
• "To cover the
blades of our kids’ ice skates when we
transport them in the car, my husband cut a
section of garden hose that is a little longer
than the blade. Then he slit it down the side. We
just slip one on each skate, and it protects the
blade, as well as anything the blade might run
into in the trunk." -- I.L. in Minnesota
• S.L. in Illinois writes:
"Here is my tip. When closing a plastic bag,
use a clip-type wooden clothespin with a metal
frame. It holds much better than a twisty, and
takes less time and effort to use."
• To get rid of mascara on
clothing, try this trick: Use the dull side of a
knife to flake any dried bits away. Moisten
stained area and rub it with a bar of soap. Rub
the area between your fingers and rinse. Repeat
until stain is gone.
• "To remove soot
stains from a glass fireplace door, I have found
that the best tool is a straight-edge razor. I
scrape it to get the gunk off, then clean with
equal parts vinegar and water. Use newspaper or a
lint-free cloth to buff dry." -- M.R. in New
York
• "I was making a
repair to a knickknack the other day, and after
it was glued, I needed someplace to put it to let
the glue dry. The repair was near the bottom, so
I couldn’t lay it down on its side without
it rolling. My sister suggested using a container
of decorative sand I had nearby, and it worked
beautifully." -- D.S. in South Carolina
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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