The Mornin' Mail is
published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 8, 2011 Volume XX, Number 123
Did Ya Know?...The Nazarene
Church at 2000 Grand will host an American Red Cross
blood drive on Thursday, Ded. 15 from 11:30 a.m. until 6
p.m. Donors will receive a Red Cross t-shirt.
Did Ya Know?...Singles Reaching
Out (West) will hold a Christmas party and gift exchange
($7 suggested) on Fri., Dec. 9 at 6:30 p.m. in Ulmers
Community room, 1208 S. Garrison. Meat will be provided.
Info - 359-6062 or 388-3038.
These Police Comments are from police car videos
around the country...
"Relax; the handcuffs are tight
because theyre new. Theyll stretch out after
you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off the car, and
Ill make your birth certificate a worthless
"If you run, youll only go
to jail tired."
"So you dont know how fast
you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I
want on the ticket, huh?"sir?"
"Warning? You want a warning?
O.K., Im warning you not to do that again or
Ill give you another ticket."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more
tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"No, sir, we dont have
quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
were allowed to write as many tickets as we
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Delayed the Fire
Parties calling the fire department out
to the blaze this morning caused more or less delay by
calling for "No. 49" instead of telling
telephone central that there was a fire.
The quickest way to get the fire
department is to phone central and let the hello
girl do the rest.
Give three short, sharp rings when
turning in a fire alarm by telephone.
Gen. Gordon Arrived
Gen. Gordon, who lectures at the Grand
tonight, arrived this morning from Springfield, where he
spoke last night. He was met by W. E. Hall and Dr.
The latter entertained him at the
college today and Mr. Hall will entertain him at his
Garrison avenue home tonight.
On December 7th, 2011 at 1:13
a.m., a Jasper County Deputy responded to 4416 N.
Center Lane in Webb City, in reference to a 22
year old female going into labor.
Upon arrival, the Deputy
grabbed a pair of surgical gloves and made
contact with the female. She was lying on her bed
saying she thought the baby was coming. When the
Deputy examined her, he could see the baby was
"crowning" and advised her to push.
After a few pushes, a baby boy was born. The
mother and child both appeared to be in good
Shortly after the birth, METS
arrived and transferred them to Freeman Hospital.
The Carthage Humane Society
will hold their first annual howliday open house
Saturday, December 17 from 11:00 to 5:00
They invite the community to
come see improvements made to the shelter, meet
the staff and board members and, most importantly
meet some of the animals that are available for
Light refreshments will be
served. Leashed and vaccinated dogs are welcome.
County Jail Count
167 December 7,
Including Placed out of County
I can remember always
seein a box of matches in my
grandparents bathroom. Bein there was a
little gas stove for knockin off the
chill, as a kid I just figured they were kept
there for the purpose of lightin it up
on a cool mornin.
At some young age, I can
still remember the embarrassed laugh when I
mentioned the matches to my mom. She
explained that although lightin the
stove was a handy function of the phosphor
tipped sticks, their more typical purpose was
to eliminate the telltale evidence of a visit
to the throne.
Course at that time
there wasnt a
"plug-it-in-plug-it-in" or were my
grandparents interested in a storebought air
freshener (the bottle of green fluid with a
wick pulled up). From time to time I find
myself reminded of that box of matches.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
My "check engine"
light illuminated a few weeks after a Jiffy Lube
oil change. I took my 2008 Subaru Impreza in to
the dealer, and they pulled a shop rag out of my
car (it was blocking two-thirds of the air
intake). Upon request, Jiffy Lube agreed to pay
for the dealers services (I am still
awaiting reimbursement). Several weeks later,
both my air/fuel sensor and my mass air sensor
failed prematurely. The dealer agreed that these
are related to the rag, and helped me draft a
letter to Jiffy Lube requesting full
reimbursement for $750. Is there anything else I
can or should do? Lily
TOM: Well, unfortunately, these
things do happen, Lily. Ive left rags in
some unusual places myself.
RAY: The most embarrassing
places are the ones where his wife ends up
TOM: Usually a rag left in the
air-filter housing wont do any damage. But
Im guessing that in your case, it ended up
getting sucked into the air intake and
substantially blocking it. That caused your
engine to run rich (i.e., too much fuel).
RAY: And that would instantly
cause the sensors to start working to correct the
situation. My guess is that the sensors got
overworked and overheated, and thats what
caused them to fail, turning on the check-engine
TOM: So what else might fail?
Well, if the sensors were unable to keep up, and
the car was allowed to run rich for an extended
period of time, the catalytic converters might be
RAY: But they certainly should
reimburse you for the sensors. And you are well
within your rights never to patronize that
particular Jiffy Lube again.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.