A farmer and his wife had just waken up one
morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in
bed, the farmers wife says, "Pa, you know our
neighbor Mr. Jones?"
"Yes Ma, I reckon I do,"
replied the sleepy farmer.
"Well, every morning before he
leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big
ol kiss. Why dont you ever do that?"
The farmer sighed and said, "Well,
I reckon I can, but I just dont know her very
A man and his girlfriend were out to
dinner one night. "The chicken sounds good;
Ill have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the
vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, hell have the
fish," she replies.
Seven-course meal? A hot
dog and a six-pack
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BARRACK LIFE AT FT. GRANT.
Boy Writes Home
Ft. Grant, Arizona: Well I have reached
my landing place at last. It was a long tiresome trip. We
went from Joplin to Kansas City and laid over there three
days and swelled our number to thirty-five. Then on the
train four days and three nights, and worst of all by
stage twenty-eight miles.
We passed through southern ranges of
the Rocky mountains, considered low but they looked very
high to me. As we passed through the southern part of
Colorado, we could plainly see Pikes Peak, ninety
miles away, piled high with snow.
I enjoyed my ride through New Mexico
the most. There the houses are very strange and the
people themselves are so odd and funny, they just stand
and look at you, and dont utter a sound. There are
a great many wildcats here and coyotes are thick, the
prairies are covered with prairie dogs.
The Carthage Chambers 7th
annual Trivia Night is scheduled for Friday,
February 18th at the Carthage Memorial Hall.
Doors open at 5:30 and trivia begins at 6:00.
Trivia Night Chairperson
Tiffany Shores says "We have such a
fantastic time every year. I always make sure I
have a team!"
The cost is $160 to register a
team. Entry fee includes all supplies, set-up,
barbecue dinner provided by Boomer Sooner BBQ and
two drinks tickets per player. Teams may have 4-8
members and may have representatives from
multiple local businesses. There will be multiple
rounds and cash prizes for the top three teams
with largest combined scores. First place-$200,
second place-$150 and third place-$100.
A nominal fee will be charged
for spectators and will include barbecue dinner
from Boomer Sooner BBQ and two drink tickets. A
cash bar, sponsored by MaZ00s Liquor, will
For information contact Neely
Myers at 358-2373 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Petty Gets Touch
Marcos Ambrose, the NASCAR
driver from the Australian island of Tasmania, is
hoping a change will put his Sprint Cup career
back on track.
In his first full season,
Ambrose finished a creditable 18th in the 2009
point standings while competing for JTG/Daugherty
Racing, a Toyota team affiliated with Michael
Waltrip Racing. He finished second at Watkins
Glen, N.Y., and had three other top-five
But he fell to 26th in the Cup
standings last season and moved to Richard Petty
Motorsports this year. This puts Ambrose back in
the Ford camp.
Ambrose, 34, has won the
Nationwide Series race at Watkins Glen in each of
the past three seasons. He found his first
success racing in Australias V8 SuperCar
Series, winning the 2003-04 championships.
Asked about driving for a team
named for NASCARs most successful driver,
the good-natured Ambrose said, "Well, it is
a little intimidating. Not only now will he say
Good-day, how is it going? but he
will also want to know why I didnt win the
race. There is a lot of prestige being associated
with Richard Petty Motorsports, and it is a real
honor for me to drive for The King. I never
thought I would get that chance.
"Im looking forward
to the opportunity, and hopefully, he is going to
be proud of me, just like I am of his
Ambrose joked about teammate
A.J. Allmendingers laughable attempts at an
Australian accent, but added, "He and I get
on great. We have known each other for a few
years now, and its going to be fun to have
him as a teammate."
While learning the ropes of
oval-track racing, Ambrose has enjoyed the bulk
of success in road races. Allmendinger also has a
"I think that both of us
really want to just be known as NASCAR
contenders," said Ambrose. "I know A.J.
had a really good second half last year and has
momentum. Im trying to catch up to him as
quickly as I can. We just want to be known as
contenders every week. We want to be known not
just as road-race specialists, but NASCAR drivers
The old story is that a fly
born in a vinegar jar wouldnt know any
better and think it was the sweetest place on
My theory is still that
most folks would choose to live in this part
of the country, especially Carthage, if they
just knew such a place existed.
Course the down side
a that is if everone moved here, it
just wouldnt be the same. I can
remember an in-law that lived in LA
bein thrilled that she found a home
only 90 minutes drive from work. No thanks.
I personally enjoy
bein a couple hours away from the big
city. Close enough to be convenient, but far
enough away to avoid the day-to-day hassle.
And as was reported by City
personnel recently, we get to complain that
the snow plow came down our street.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
I recently had the timing belt
replaced in my sons car (a 97 VW
Passat) by a local mechanic in southwest
Michigan. The next day, my son left to drive back
to New York City, where he is a student. An hour
into Pennsylvania, the car clunked, he coasted to
the side of the road, and the car wouldnt
start. A thousand dollars later, after replacing
the ruined timing belt, we learned that three of
the four cylinders in the engine were ruined and
we would need a replacement engine, at a cost of
around $4,000. Our local mechanic refunded the
money we had spent for the first timing belt and
said that his insurance would cover the cost of
the replacement engine. The question: Are garages
like medical practices, in that they carry
malpractice insurance for situations like this,
or is this something that just my local mechanic
has done? -- Bruce
RAY: Yes, and yes.
TOM: Most reputable garages
carry what we like to call "Bonehead
Insurance." Why? Because occasionally, we
all do boneheaded things.
RAY: Sure. One of your
mechanics gets a phone call from his girlfriend,
gets into an argument about last nights
"Dancing With the Stars" and forgets to
refill a crankcase with oil.
Tom: Anyway, good shops carry
insurance to cover their bigger mistakes. That
way, they can apologize to the customer and pay
for the necessary repairs without having to be
taken to court. It makes everybody happier.
TOM: Youre lucky that you
found an honest, decent mechanic. All mechanics
make mistakes. The good ones make them right.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.