A poet and a scientist were traveling together
on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the poet,
"Hey, you, do you want to play a game? Ill ask
you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5.
Then, you ask me a question, and if I cant answer
it, Ill give you $5."
The poet thought about this for a
moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the
scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely
turned down the scientists offer.
The scientist, who was really bored,
tried again. "Look, Ill ask you a question,
and if you cant answer it, you give me $5. Then you
ask me a question, and if I cant answer it,
Ill give you $50."
The poet agreed. "Okay," the
scientist said, "what is the exact distance between
the Earth and the Moon?"
The poet, obviously not knowing the
answer, didnt stop to think about the
scientists question. He took a $5 bill out of his
pocket and handed it to the scientist.
The scientist happily accepted the bill
and said, "Okay, now its your turn."
The poet thought about this for a few
minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a
mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?"
The bright glow quickly vanished from
the scientists face. He thought about this for a
long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous
calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took
out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. The
scientist gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50
The poet accepted it graciously,
getting ready to stand up. "Wait!" the
scientist shouted, "you cant do this to me!
Whats the answer?"
The poet looked at the scientist and
calmly put a $5 bill into his hand.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Library to be Open
A laboring man of this city is quoted
as having said that he would oppose the library
proposition next Tuesday because the library would be
open only in the day time and would not therefore benefit
men who work ten hours per day as this man does.
His position is a mistaken one,
however. In conversation with Mayor Chaffee today a
reporter was assured that he and his associates who have
the appointing of the board of control will see that men
are put in charge who will keep the library open each
evening till at least 9 or 9:30 oclock.
The man who was proposing his
opposition as related above is taxed on an assessed
valuation of $90. His library tax would therefore be 9
cents per year.
C. N. Maxey and Mrs. Mattie Ivie, of
Webb City, had Judge Marion Brown unite them in wedlock
at the court house yesterday afternoon.
Four members of the University
of Missouri Extension Council of Jasper County
were re-elected and six were newly elected in the
balloting that ended January 26, 2011, according
to Peter Carter, council chair.
The re-elected members are
Emily Boydston, Debbie Carter, Peter Carter and
Margaret Hartman. Newly elected members to serve
two year terms are: Bradley Moll, Purcell; Don
Blankenship, Brian Fosdick, Jeff Simpson,
Jennifer Simpson, Carthage; and Tom Howard,
These members will join the
following hold-over members: Jim Creighton, Brent
Erwin, Mike Grigg, George Heisten, Pedro Pantoja,
Dixie Rockers, David Shaw, Joyce Shaw, Dorothy
Shull, and Marilyn Thornberry.
Currently, the appointed
members to the council are: Jim Honey (County
Commission), Melodee Colbert-Kean (City of
Joplin), Susan Knost (Farm Bureau) and Michele
Hansford (City of Carthage).
The council has four major
responsibilities. They are: (1) to advise the
University of Missouri on needed extension
educational programs, (2) approve the extension
staff housed in Jasper County, (3) arrange for
financing the Jasper County Extension Center and,
(4) hold elections to perpetuate the Council.
Officers for the 2011 Council
will be elected at the annual meeting being held
at the First United Methodist Church in Carthage,
Tuesday evening, February 15.
Ive been to a state
fair or two.
My best recollection of a
fair attraction is the clown at the water
"High and dry,
Im sittin high and dry," he
would heckle passersby. If he happened to get
someones eye he would really turn on.
He would then publicly ridicule the
unfortunate dupe until hed have ta
plunk down a dollar or two just to show his
girlfriend how ta deal with loud mouth clowns
at the State Fair. Typically after five or
eight dollars worth, the guy would walk away
with the assurance the clown wouldnt be
wantin any more a that.
Climbin out of the
tank, the chatter would start all over. A
little soggy, but eight or ten dollars
richer, the Clown looked for his next victim.
"High and dry, Im sittin
High and Dry."
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Bathtub Refinishing Best Left to
Q: Ive got an old
claw-foot tub that looks shabby but is pretty
sound that Id like to install in the
bathroom Im remodeling. Id like to
refinish it, but am not sure what materials to
use or how long it would take. What do you
recommend? -- Jim H., Philadelphia
A: You do have two options: the
do-it-yourself refinish or a professional
refinish. I may once have espoused the idea that
you should tackle a tub refinishing job yourself,
but over time have found that I prefer to spend
my energies on other aspects of a bathroom
remodel and not on trying to restore tubs and
With the do-it-yourself option
theres the investment in the right
equipment and materials to do the job, and
numerous hours are required to get it done. The
tub needs to be scrubbed beyond clean and the
surface prepped for the refinishing medium. Then
the finish needs to be applied properly to avoid
streaking or later cracking or peeling. All of
this takes time and care, and youve got to
work in a very well-ventilated area -- and still
wear a protective filter mask, particularly when
working with refinishing materials.
Even with all that, the
refinish may go poorly and after hours of work
you have a less-than-ideal-looking tub. With a
claw-foot tub, which can add beauty and value to
a bathroom, you want to really make it look good
and last a long time.
This is where professional
refinishing comes in. One of the bonuses of
hiring a pro to do the refinish job is that this
is a pretty competitive service in most areas,
with several companies vying for your business.
So you can get multiple quotes before making the
decision to either have a professional handle the
refinish, or attempt the job yourself.
HOME TIP: Always get a written
estimate from a professional before agreeing to
start any refinishing work.
When in doubt as to whether you
can safely or effectively complete a project,
consult a professional contractor.
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