The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, February 16, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 164

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...There will be a Red Cross Blood Drive hosted at the Nazarene Church in Carthage Thursday, Feb. 17 from 11:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. 2000 Grand.

Did Ya Know?...Singles Reaching Out (West) will have a pot luck and game night Fri., Feb 25 at 6:30 p.m. in the Ulmers Community Room. Everyone invited - For info call Belinda - 359-9986

today's laugh

Pilot: Control tower, what time is it?

Control tower: What airline is this?

Pilot: What difference does that make?

Control tower: Well if it is UA, it is 6:00p.m.; if it is TWA, it is 1800 hours; if it is Ozark, the big hand is on the….."


A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, do you have reservations?" He replied, "Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I’m flying anyway."


Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"

"Yes, sir! I’d put all the men on one island and the women on another."

"And what would they be doing then?"

"Building boats!

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after." Why aren’t you at the end of the line?" asked the teacher. The boy replied," I couldn’t, someone was already there."


Mrs. Smith, I ain’t got no crayons.

Young man, you mean, I don’t have any crayons.

You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons.

They don’t have any crayons.

Do you see what I’m getting at?

I think so. What happened to all the crayons?


I don’t wan to alarm you, Miss Davis, but my dad said if I didn’t get better marks, someone was going to get a licking.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Plans for "Non-Com" School, By-Laws,

Cannon and Flag.

The Light Guard, after a rousing drill last night, elected Lieut. John Henkel civil president to succeed Corporal Alexander, resigned.

A "non-com" school was organized, by which the non-commissioned officers are to meet Wednesday night to study the tactics theoretically, preparatory for practice at Friday drills.

Capt. Hiatt, Lieut. Gilbreath, Lieut. Henkel, Sergts. Woodford, Ross and Howell, Corporals Givens and Hall and Privates Twitchell, Bradford and Farrer (first) were made a committee to frame new by-laws.

Committees were also appointed to secure a cannon and a flag for the Carthage company if possible. White duck trousers were ordered for the company this summer.

  Today's Feature

Proposed Cuts May Affect Jasper County.

The budget proposal submitted to Congress by President Obama plans to cut many domestic programs including Community Services Block Grant funding by 50 percent in 2012, from $700 million to $350 million.

"President Obama sent a message during his State of the Union address that a freeze on domestic spending would occur in order to reduce the deficit, and Community Action Agencies stood ready to do their part by reducing their spending and finding ways to help weather the economy with fewer resources," said Elaine West, executive director of the Missouri Association for Community Action (MACA). "However, no one anticipated that Community Action’s core funding, the Community Services Block Grant, would be cut in half for next year and even dramatically reduced for the remainder of the current budget year."

According to West, last year, Missouri received $17,412,276 from the federal Community Services Block Grant program, which allowed local Community Action Agencies to leverage private sector resources of $23,047,586.

West says Missouri’s 19 Community Action Agencies, which have offices in every county and the city of St. Louis, use the funding to help people train for and get jobs, support business expansion, promote education, provide preventive health care and serve low-income senior citizens.

Projects include the Bright Futures initiative in Joplin developed by Economic Security Corporation of Southwest Area to reduce the 20 percent high school dropout rate through a partnership with businesses, elected officials, the faith-based community and educators. --A community garden in Trenton, organized by the Green Hills Community Action Agency, to feed 500 families and teach skills in growing and preserving food.--A local resource center in Richland, where Missouri Ozarks Community Action, Inc. provides classes in life skills, GED, job readiness and resume building, as well as a computer lab for online job search.

Just Jake Talkin'

As a kid the idea was that there was value in havin’ character. ‘Course character is built as we all know. Ever’ time ya didn’t get to do somethin’ ya wanted, it created one more buildin’ block of character.

Birthdays and Christmas always contributed to the construction. Didn’t get that special toy, build a little more character.

Have ta mow the lawn while the kids across the street were playin’ ball? Another contribution. I’m thinkin’ it’s prob’ly a good idea to accumulate all the character ya can, if for no other reason than to help offset those occasional flaws that seem to linger through adulthood.

I suppose the greatest value of gatherin’ a little character is the fact that you might recognize it in others. It’s hard to define, but ya know it when ya see it.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By JoAnn Derson

• To clean artificial flowers, place the arrangement flowers first into a paper bag. Add a cup of salt and gather the opening of the bag around the stems of the flowers. Twist closed and hold tightly at the stems. Shake the arrangement vigorously. The salt beats the dust off the flowers. Hold the bag upside down for a second and shake lightly to make sure all the salt granules fall off into the bag, and then remove the arrangement.

• Ink stains can sometimes be removed from clothing or furniture upholstery by using rubbing alcohol or hairspray. Using a clean paper towel or white cloth, spray the ink, and immediately dab and press several times. Repeat using a clean portion of the cloth until the stain is removed.

• "I purchase large pieces of cheese from my bulk retailer. I keep it fresh and mold-free by wrapping it in cheesecloth that I have sprayed with plain white vinegar." -- E.C. in Indiana

• "I use an old hairbrush to remove the lint from the trap on my dryer. My hands and my grip aren’t what they used to be, and sometimes it would be hard to get the lint started. The brush is easy to use, and I just swipe it over the screen and knock the lint off into a small trash can." -- A.L. in Ontario, Canada

• "I purchased a car-washing kit several years ago, and forgot about it. I have gotten rid of my car, and didn’t have any use for it. I removed the washing mitt before I gave it away, and I found an excellent use for it -- as a dusting mitt. It has a texture that picks up dust and holds it, and to me, it’s worth the price of the kit itself." -- V.H. in Texas

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.