A newhire called her new boss to explain there
was a problem with her check.
In checking the timesheets the boss
noticed that she had not punched in since her first day
of orientation. He tried to explain that her check was
right since she had only worked the one day for the
She went on insisting that her check
was short, and that the company apparently had problems
with their math in figuring out her check. She asked her
boss how many days were in a year.
He said there are 365.
She asked if he knew how many weeks
were in a year.
And he replied there are 52.
She went on to say that since there are
52 weeks per year in which she had 2 weekend days off per
week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since she was scheduled to work 8 hours
a day, she spent 16 hours each day away from work, and
that added up 170 days, leaving only 91 days for work.
She went on to explain that during the
day she spent in company orientation she learned that the
company allowed her 30 minutes each day for her two
coffee breaks, which counts for 23 days each year,
leaving only 68 days for work.
Orientation also informed her that she
would be given a 1-hour lunch each day, which used up
another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
The company also allowed 2 days per
year for sick leave, leaving her only 20 days per year to
The company additionally allowed her to
be off 5 holidays per year, bringing her available
working time down to 15 days.
Then there were the 14 days vacation
the company so generously allowed all employees which
leaves only 1 day for her to work ... and well, the boss
has already conceded that she did time in and out on her
orientation day, so would he please get her check
corrected. And if it would be easier for the accounting
department ... they could go ahead and make it out for
her yearly salary, since she had obviously already put in
her share of work for that year.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
J. C. HECK FARM IS
Chicago Company to Begin Sinking to
Northwest by Aug. 1.
J. C. Heck reports to the newspaper
that he has just leased the west forty of his farm, on
the hill northwest of Carthage, to a Chicago company of
which Charles Wilson is the general manager. This company
is already operating seven mills in the district, and by
Aug. 1 is to begin sinking a shaft on the Heck land.
The lease was made on the strength of
three drill holes which were put down several months ago,
all three showing up thirty-five or forty feet of fine
ore from a depth of 170 feet. The lease runs twenty
Miss Lottie G. McCoy, a vocalist who
has lately located here, will sing "I Will Give You
Rest," by F. H. Cowen, at the First Methodist church
News Release: Twelve
teams from throughout the Carthage community
gathered at the Carthage Memorial Hall Friday the
18th for the Carthage Chambers 7th annual
This years categories
included, The History of Carthage, Entertainment
80s-Now, Pop Culture 60s and 70s, Literature,
Geography, Science and Nature, Local Trivia,
Sports, Inventors and Inventions and
The Grace Notes sponsored by
Grace Episcopal church took first place in the
competition with 83 correct answers out of 150
questions. The Deflowered Headlines sponsored by
Florette by countryside and The Carthage Press
placed a very close second with 81 correct
answers. Trivial Pursuit of Happyness sponsored
by Leggett & Platt rounded out the top three
with 74 correct answers.
Other team sponsors were
Beimdiek Insurance, Carthage Water &
Electric, Charles Burt Homefolks, Cornerstone
Dental Group, Lakeland Office System and Carthage
Health and Rehab, Locarni Marble, Schmidt
Associates, Southwest Missouri Bank, UMB Bank.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
An Upset for the
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- If you
didnt know better, youd think the
winner of the Daytona 500 was an English chap,
perhaps on holiday from the festival at Goodwood.
But the winner of NASCARs
biggest race, Trevor Bayne (not Trevor Howard,
not Claire Trevor) only turned 20 on Saturday.
Sir Trevor Bayne would have a nice ring to it,
but, alas, the accent he affects is from
Knoxville, Tenn., not Liverpool or Kent, and when
he praised the Lord afterward, he sounded as if
he meant it.
Truly, Bayne knew all about the
power and the glory after winning at Daytona
International Speedway, NASCARs sacred
shrine. About all that could have been more
surprising about his victory wouldve been a
walk across Lake Lloyd on the way to victory
"If I tried to put this
into words, I wouldnt be able to do it
justice," said Bayne, to which reporters
replied, "Please try."
"Anybody I drafted with
was headed to the front," he said among all
the gushing and hosannas, "and the big thing
was that these guys (Wood Brothers Racing) gave
me a rocket ship."
"When we were testing down
here, he didnt get to do any drafting
because I wouldnt let him," said
Baynes crew chief, Donnie Wingo. "He
wanted to, but I knew he had the poise to race
it. Some young drivers can go fast but cant
race. I could tell Trevor was different."
How did this upset of epic
proportions occur? Forget going back to the start
of the race. The final laps read like a novel.
With six laps remaining, Regan Smith, who is not
exactly a household name, led. Bayne was 10th.
Exit Smith on lap 197,
jettisoned from his draft with Kurt Busch and
relegated to fifth place (he finished seventh).
Behind Smith and Busch, Ryan Newman, Clint Bowyer
and Denny Hamlin crashed.
That guaranteed a
"green-white-checkered" finish and led
finish. A.J. Allmendinger, Newman (again), Dale
Earnhardt Jr. and Martin Truex Jr. crashed on lap
203, leaving first place in NASCARs biggest
event to ... Trevor Bayne.
Tony Stewarts Chevy
dropped quickly when he couldnt get up to
speed in a drafting tandem with Mark Martin. Carl
Edwards Ford closed in but arrived too
late. The third-place finisher wounding up being
another long shot, David Gilliland.
Attrition played a bigger role
in this 500 than any in recent memory. Placing
outside the top 20 were seven of the drivers who
took part in 2010s Chase for the Sprint
Cup: Hamlin (21st), Jimmie Johnson (27th), Jeff
Gordon (28th), Matt Kenseth (34th), Greg Biffle
(35th), Jeff Burton (36th) and Kevin Harvick
What was Fords 600th
victory in NASCAR became the 98th victory for the
Wood Brothers, who have been around just about as
long as NASCAR itself. Glen Wood, with brother
Leonard turning the wrenches, finished 34th in
the first Daytona 500. Now Glen Woods sons
Len and Eddie are the owners.
Used ta have a dog that
would start shakin all over and hide
behind the couch whenever it started to
thunder. No talkin to that dog. Just
No matter how calm we
spoke, or how much we petted that dog, it
wouldnt move from its security
I dont suppose it
really hurt anything that the dog was so
fearful of a rumble or two. There was
somethin that made us kids want to get
the dog to face the thunder.
Course we were
probly lucky not to be struck down by
lightnin durin some of our
adventures durin rain storms.
I suppose now there would
be some dog shrink tellin us that we
could somehow work the animal through its
fears and make it a more functional pet. The
dog lived a normal and healthy life.
Sometimes you just have to let shakin
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
Love your show and your column!
Im sure you have seen the Viagra commercial
on TV in which the intrepid driver notices that
his muscle car is overheating. He swings jauntily
into a service station, buys a cold bottle of
water and immediately pours its contents into his
radiator, then drives merrily on his way. Now,
Im just an old schoolmarm, so maybe my
information is out of date, and if so, you can
set me straight. But I was always told: (1) Never
even try to take the radiator cap off of a hot
radiator. It could blow scalding steam in your
face. (2) Never put water in an overheated
engine, as you could crack the block. (3) When
you do add water, you should start the motor
before you pour anything into the radiator so
that it circulates. If Im right, and the
guy in the advertisement is wrong, then ED is the
least of his problems. Please comment! -- Chrissy
RAY: Youre right,
Chrissy. On most cars, if he popped off the
radiator cap while the car was overheating,
hed have second-degree burns all over his
face and arms. And no amount of Viagra is going
help him if he looks like he just got worked over
with a bag of chisels.
TOM: In general, you never,
ever should remove a radiator cap while an engine
is hot. Especially if the car is overheating. You
want to give it a good 45 minutes to an hour to
cool down, and then, still, open it very slowly
and carefully, using a large rag for hand and arm
RAY: Unless you have a car with
a separate, unpressurized coolant-recovery
bottle. Then you can remove that cap right away.
The 1969 Camaro used in that ad may have been one
of the last cars to have one of those. So
youre right, Chrissy, but this particular
car is an exception to the rule.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.