The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, February 7, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 157

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...There will be a Red Cross Blood Drive hosted at the Nazarene Church in Carthage Thursday, Feb. 17 from 11:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. 2000 Grand.

Did Ya Know?...Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre 796 S. Stone Lane will have the Special Valentine’s Day Performance Monday, February 14. Two One Act Plays, admission $25.00. Includes dinner and special Valentine treats. Call for reservations 358-9665

today's laugh

The science graduate asks, "Why does it work?" The engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?" The accounting graduate asks, "How much does it cost?" The liberal arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"


Three immigrants to the U. S. were just mastering the language. One was telling the others about the difficulty they were having in attempting to start a family. He said, "I think my wife must be impregnable." The second said," that’s not the right word, she is inconceivable". To which the third replied, "You are both wrong she is unbearable."


Did you ever notice? When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?


I can’t get enough minimalism.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Some Confusing Conditions in Regard to Names of Localities.

"I find a bad mix-up in regard to the names of places down in this country," said a new comer this morning. "There is Galena township in this county, but the town of Galena is across the line over in Kansas. Next to Galena township is Joplin township, but the city of Joplin is over in Galena township, leaving Webb City and Carterville to monopolize Joplin township. There is a Jasper township, but the city of Jasper is not in it, and there is a school house called the Jasper school house, which is not in either one; all three are located in Jasper county to cause a further confusion of names. Marion township, in which Carthage is located, has only one township between it and another Marion township to the south in Newton county. Then there is Kansas City located in Missouri. I don’t know what all I shall run across yet in the way of peculiar combinations, but I have found enough already to confuse me wherever I go."

  Today's Feature

Tax Amnesty Program Proposed.

State Representative Tom Flannigan has filed a tax amnesty bill he says will help increase state revenue. Under the provisions of this bill, delinquent tax payers can avoid penalties and interest while settling their debt with the state.

"In tough economic times, cutting errant taxpayers a break is a quick way to put a dent in the budget deficit" said Flannigan. "Attracted by the absence of penalties and interest, those formerly avoiding tax payment will generate new revenues when they pay their back taxes. Many of these folks have long wanted to settle their bill, but were overwhelmed with penalties and interest. Current estimates from the Department of Revenue project revenue increases to be upwards of $70 million."

Flannigan has also introduced legislation that focuses on companies that recycle animal parts into petroleum. The bill enforces penalties for exceeding limitations in air and water pollution. Penalties for violating the proposed standards would result in a fine of no less than ten thousand dollars and no more than thirty thousand dollars for each day the violation continues to occur.

Just Jake Talkin'

My grandad had onea those hearin’ aids that he carried in his pocket. A wire ran up and hung from his ear.

The theory in the family was that when he didn’t wanna listen he just shut the thing off. At least that was what grandma used ta think.

Like most advances in technology, grandad found a higher use, that was not usin’ the technology except as a decoy.

The "computer is down" excuse always brings the question of whether there is a technology problem or if there is actually a more human default.

Cell phones are becomin’ a handy excuse for not talkin’ to someone. If ya don’t want to be bothered, ya turn the thing off. I’m guessin’ Grandad woulda had onea those too.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By Samantha Mazzotta

Thaw Frozen Pipes the Right Way

Q: I recently read an article where a resident’s attempt to thaw frozen pipes using a small blowtorch led to a fire that burned out four apartments. Can you remind readers that there are other methods to address frozen pipes and that extreme methods like using a blowtorch should be undertaken only by a licensed plumber? -- Jesse L., Minneapolis

A: Thank you for the reminder, Jesse! A blowtorch is a very unsafe method for thawing frozen pipes for exactly the reason described above. There are other methods to try.

First, prevention: Keep an eye on weather forecasts. When a freeze warning is issued, make sure that at least one tap at the highest or farthest part of the house from the water main is left dripping.

Next, quick action: Monitor the dripping tap throughout the freeze; if the drip slows, turn the tap to a running stream and begin searching for cold spots in the pipe. The likeliest places for frozen pipes are in sections of pipe located next to uninsulated walls or in uninsulated parts of the home. Run your hand along the pipe, looking for sections that are noticeably colder than the rest.

Safe thawing: Hot towels laid over a freezing or frozen section of pipe is a safe and fairly effective method of thawing pipes. Have a helper heat water in the kitchen -- not to boiling, just comfortably warm -- and bring the pot of water to you. Using several towels in succession, dip a towel in the water, wring it out slightly, and wrap it around the freezing section. When the towel gets cold, repeat the process with a new towel. Have your helper keep bringing you water.

If you’re working in an area with access to a standard electrical outlet, you have additional options. Setting up an electric kettle will allow you to keep hot water close at hand as you work. Or, instead of the wet thawing method, you can use a hair dryer, holding it close to the pipe (be sure there is no standing water around, however -- if the pipe has burst or water is leaking from elsewhere, don’t bring electric appliances into the picture). A space heater can warm the entire space -- again, keep it away from standing water, as well as from combustible objects like cloth.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.