Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping
trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay
down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and
nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and
tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions
and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn
is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is
approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can
see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and
Meteorologically, I suspect that we
will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then
"Watson, you idiot. Somebody has
stolen our tent!"
A preacher was standing at the pulpit
giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him.
The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up
at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: I have
heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their
names but this is the first time I will see a man sign
his name and forget to write the letters.
Two antarcticans were walking in the
woods when they came upon some tracks.
The first said, "You know, those
look like deer tracks." The other said, "No,
silly, those are moose tracks." They were still
arguing about it when a train hit them.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Railroad Man Dies Here.
J. J. Blake, a St. Louis railroad man,
died of consumption yesterday about 2:30 p.m., at the
home of his wifes father, J. W. Hart, on Valley
street. He came here about two months ago in a very low
condition and has grown steadily worse. He was employed
in the yards of the Vandalia railroad at St. Louis. He
leaves a wife and two step children.
The funeral will be held tomorrow at 3
p.m. at St. Anns Catholic church, Rev. Father
Miss Gertrude Armitage, of North
McGregor street, delightfully entertained a few friends
last night. Dancing, music and games were the order of
the evening. Elegant refreshments were served. The
following were present: Misses Frances Sigler, Nellie
Garland, Clara Coffeen, Mary Kellogg, Jessie Payne and
Pansy Clifton; Messrs Karl Twitchell, Claud Murdock, Carl
Fry and Bond Haughawout.
Sales Tax Extension.
News Release -The
Carthage Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors
voted to support the February 8 ballot issue of
the continuation of the Capital Improvements tax
for the City of Carthage.
The Chamber board feels that
the City has been a good steward of past funding.
The City, as previously established, transferred
95% of the annual capital improvements sales tax
receipts to the Carthage Water & Electric to
pay debt service payment on previously voter
approved necessary utility projects which
included the construction of two new water wells,
two new elevated water storage tanks and over
17,000 feet of distribution line improvements.
The City used 5% of the proceeds to make storm
water system improvements.
The continuation of the sales
tax will be used to fund the City of
Carthages capital improvements program
which includes over 190 projects totaling more
than $44 million. The tax will fund projects such
as North Garrison Street bridges, storm water
projects, Baker Avenue Widening, Oak Street
bridge improvements, fire department equipment,
etc. The City has been unable to fund the list of
projects and equipment due to the lack of
"The tax is necessary to
make improvements to the community," stated
Sabrina Drackert, President/Economic Development
Director of the Carthage Chamber of Commerce.
"To help Carthage grow and prosper we have
to take care of our assets. If we are unable to
pay for roads and bridges, how can we expect
businesses to move into the community?" All
people, including visitors, purchasing items
inside the City of Carthage will pay the capital
The tax is a renewal of an
existing sales tax that was approved by the
voters in 1996 for capital improvements. The
sales tax rate ½ of 1%, will not change and will
continue for 20 years after the current tax
terminates in March 2012.
It was the classic final
few seconds of the basketball game. My
brothers high school team was down by
one point. The coach had the team on the
sideline with a time out because my brother
had just been fouled and was preparin
for a 1 and 1 free throw. Classic.
The coach was tryin
settle the team down and turned to my brother
to soothe the nerves.
"I dont care
what anyone else thinks," he said,
"I think you can make it."
My brother didnt get
a chance to win the game, cause he
missed his first attempt. No tellin
what the coach woulda said to him if there
was the game winnin throw on the line
instead of the tiein shot. Im
sure he woulda come up with other memorable
words of wisdom.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
"Stir eggs while
boiling to keep the yolks centered, such as when
you are making deviled eggs or soft-boiled eggs
for breakfast." -- T.D. in Mississippi
Make your own "sour milk" to stand in
for buttermilk. Just add 1 tablespoon of either
white vinegar or lemon juice to a measuring cup,
then add enough milk to make a cup. Stir and let
stand a minute or two before using.
To prevent hangnails,
give yourself a hand massage and use a little
olive oil while youre at it. Rub a few
drops of the oil into your nail beds for
Your bar of soap will
last longer if you let it dry out for a few days
before using it.
"If you have
leftover paint in your can, get a balloon and
blow it up to fit in the empty space of the can.
Press it into the paint can and close the lid. It
keeps a scummy glob from forming on the
paints surface." -- A.C. in Washington
Want a great, fluffy
omelet? Use room-temperature eggs and add water
instead of milk.
Copyright 1997-2011 by
Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.