The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, January 20, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 146

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...There will be a Tim Roderick Benefit Feb. 5 at 1 p.m. in McMorrow’s Triple L, 418 Grant to help family pay for furneral expenses. Donations for an Auction are appreciated. call 417-793-8377.

today's laugh

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.

The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!

She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."

The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and warned she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."

She paused and said,"Yes?"

The bird said, "You know."


A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!


A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!"

The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "Stupid!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road.


"Have you got any kittens going cheap?" Asked a customer in a pet shop.

"No, sir," replied the owner. "All our kittens go "Meow."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Boy Preferred "Hoeing His Own Row"

to Hoeing Weeds.

A 10-year old boy named Clark ran away from the farm of Owen Weeks, northwest of town yesterday afternoon, and Mr. Weeks was in town today looking for him.

He had put the boy at work hoeing weeds and at supper time he had proved to have jumped his job, taking $1.35 from a purse containing $8 of Mr. Weeks money.

Investigation shows that he spent the stormy night at the home of Billy McDaniels, a stone cutter, in town, and this morning asked Officer Drake the way to Joplin. He took the next car for the mining metropolis, and Mr. Weeks decided not to follow him there. He evidently prefers hoeing his own row to hoeing someone else’s weeds.

The lad, an orphan, was brought here from Duenweg by Mr. Weeks, who undertook to raise him. Howard Gray is the boy’s guardian.

  Today's Feature

Final Filing for City Council.

Ward 1 No one filed

Ward 2

Wayne Walter

1005 Sycamore unopposed

Ward 3

Charles G. Scott

1243 Douglas Court

Steve Leibbrand

1654 Connor Drive

Ward 4 (1 year)

John Cooper

1333 Hafner Court

Lee Carlson 721 Euclid

Ward 4 (2 year)

Bill Welch 302 Euclid

Dan Rife 1841 Wynnwood

Ward 5

Adam Givens 1722 Hillcrest

Ed Hardesty 118 Wiggins

Lujene Clark 1803 S. Maple


By Monte Dutton



This is the time of year when everything is going to be better. In part, this is because the NASCAR season hasn’t started.

The same driver who fretted and commiserated over the notion that Daytona International Speedway was going to be repaved is now describing that occurrence as the greatest thing since the first NASCAR track (Darlington Raceway) was paved in 1950.

"It’s so smooth. I think we might race four-wide. On every lap. Five wide on the last lap. Guaranteed photo finish."

The same guy who said brand loyalty was something of an obsolete concept is now exulting because changes in design are going to "promote brand loyalty again."

The same guy who once declared that the Chase should only be open to legitimate contenders is now poised to jump up and down and use party favors while chanting, "The more the merrier! The more the merrier! ..."

Pep rallies come to mind, and they actually might be just as interesting, and more festive, than the current press conferences in which all the drivers do their best Robert Gibbs and recite talking points.

With six you get egg roll, and with pep rallies, you get a band, cheerleaders and pompons. Guys such as I might balk a little at having to clap along with the fight songs, but there would be enough radio and TV networks to throw together a decent card section.

"The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful." It doesn’t just apply to the weather. The fire will get even more delightful in a couple weeks when NASCAR media attend a tour (and despite it being a "tour," much of it will be in the same place).

More than the season might be brand-new. There could be a new Chase, a new Nationwide format, a new fuel, a new engine, new front ends ... NASCAR might even take credit for the Panthers’ new coach, the START Treaty and a vital new breakthrough in video gaming.

It’s a shame, really, that Lawrence Welk died before he could raise a baton in NASCAR.

Just Jake Talkin'

In case ya weren’t aware, those trees out in the parkway, the land between the sidewalk and the street, aren’t yours.

Most folks will argue that fact as long as the tree is alive and providin’ shade for the front yard. When the tree dies, however, the true owner, the City, is typically asked to remove that deadwood before it becomes a danger. The City has little choice, since, the tree is their responsibility, or liability as the case might be.

The situation becomes a little less clear when a tree on the City parkway grows to the point of breakin’ up your sidewalk, which also rests on the City parkway. The sidewalk is your responsibility. You can see why folks get a little confused about trees and sidewalks, especially if you (or your grandfather) planted the tree without consultin’ the City.

This is some fact, but, mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

I have a 1999 Camry CE that is maintained on a regular basis. Yesterday the car was parked in a garage for about one hour. I returned and turned on the ignition. After one minute, I saw on the panel the oil and electrical red symbols. Then I heard an explosion. The car did not move or shake. I turned off the ignition, got out and saw oil leaking onto the ground under the front hood. I also saw two huge bolts and three heavy metal pieces. My mechanic could not explain the cause of this explosion. He said it is a one-in-a-million incident since the car has only 43,000 miles on it. What is your theory -Beatrice

TOM: Wow! That’s exciting. No one is going to top THAT story this week.

RAY: I have to guess that a connecting rod broke. The connecting rods connect the pistons to the crankshaft and transfer the power that’s produced by the detonations in the cylinders.

TOM: A thrown rod would explain everything. It would explain the explosive sound, which was the connecting rod bursting through your oil pan or the engine block. It would explain the oil, which then leaked out. And it would explain why you now need a new engine.

RAY: But Toyota did have a problem with these engines getting "gelled," or "sludged," with oil, which can lead to poor oil circulation -- and eventually to no oil circulation. In fact, a number of sludged Toyota engines failed in exactly the way you describe, by throwing a connecting rod.

TOM: The good news is that Toyota recognized this problem, and extended the warranty for this problem for all affected Toyota engines built between 1997 and 2002. The bad news is that it extended the warranty to eight years.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.