The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, January 27, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 151

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...There will be a Tim Roderick Benefit Feb. 5 at 1 p.m. in McMorrow’s Triple L, 418 Grant to help family pay for furneral expenses. Donations for an Auction are appreciated. call 417-793-8377.

today's laugh

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course 10 degree east."

The light signals back: "Change yours, 10 degrees west."

Angry, the captain sends: "I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!"

"I’m a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."

Now the captain is furious. "I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!"

There is one last reply. "I’m a lighthouse. Your call."

Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders. Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good."


Mary goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Mary walks over to the artist and says, "I don’t understand your paintings."

"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.

"Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"


All generalizations are false, including this one.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Yesterday T. M. Mooneyham, assistant prosecuting attorney, went to Neck City, where he convicted three men and brought two back with him to the county jail last night.

Two of the evil-doers were in trouble for the stealing of a bicycle and one of them now awaits in the county jail the action of the circuit court, while the other, a chap of 14 years pays $27 for his lesson, and will beware in the future of riding another person’s wheel.

The third man was E. E. Knapp, who was found guilty of assault and was fined $30 and costs, but being unable to pay it, he accompanied Mr. Mooneyham to Carthage. When asked on the way to Carthage last why he struck the man he replied that he "just wanted to smash somebody’s face and that man looked easy." He said he had nothing against the man. He has served a term in jail before for fighting.

  Today's Feature

Sales Tax Revenue Actually Up.

City Adminstrator Tom Short reported to the City Council during their regular meeting Tuesday evening that the drop in sales tax reported in November did not reflect actual sales.

Short said that after checking with the State he learned that a vendor had been awarded a one time $70,000 refund and it all came out of sales tax due the City in November.

Short said that if the refund had not been awarded that sales tax for the City would be up by approximately 1.5% over last year. The refund resulted in actual revenue of a minus 1.5%.

In other business, the Council voted to authorize the Mayor to enter into an agreement with Midwest Wholesalers, Inc. for hauling and recycling of electronic waste.

The Council also authorized a contract with Sprenkle and Associates, Inc. for planning and design of sidewalk improvements. The vote was 9-1 with Council member Charlie Bastin voting against.

The Council also heard the first reading of bills amending qualification of employees that primarily affect firefighters.


By Monte Dutton

Hendrick Shuffles the Deck

Jimmie Johnson isn’t actually perched alone at the top of NASCAR. His car owner, Rick Hendrick, has also won five consecutive championships.

While five straight championships as an owner doesn’t rival such attainment in a driver, it’s instructive to note that Hendrick Motorsports’ Chevys have won a total of 10 titles: five with Johnson, four with Jeff Gordon and one with Terry Labonte. The total equals the all-time record of 10, won by Petty Enterprises with Richard (7) and Lee (3) Petty.

Hendrick, whose other business interests include an empire of automobile dealerships, never sits still. Johnson was the only one of his four drivers who won races last year. This led Hendrick to order an offseason shuffle of crew chiefs among the teams of Jeff Gordon, Mark Martin and Dale Earnhardt Jr.

The team shuffle pairs crew chiefs Alan Gustafson with Jeff Gordon, Steve Letarte with Earnhardt and Lance McGrew with Martin.

"I think we just got complacent, and other teams were getting stronger and stronger," said Hendrick. "We were not really where we needed to be, so we started to really try to step up our program in every area."

The decision was based, Hendrick said, on a desire to "pair up people that I thought would be better together."

Describing the changes only in terms of crew chiefs is incomplete. The actual change is in drivers linked to the respective teams. Gordon, who drives No. 24, is now aligned with the entire team, not just crew chief Gustafson.

"We are not changing the people in the shops," said Hendrick. "The people in the ‘24’ and ‘48’ (Johnson) shops will remain the same. The only thing that will change is Jeff Gordon’s seat becomes Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s seat. The cars, the people, will remain the same. The same is true in the other two shops (Earnhardt, Martin). The only things changed were the seat, the driver, the sponsor and the number."

Just having one team at the top isn’t enough to please Hendrick.

"We have to work a lot harder and a lot smarter," he said. "I’m confident that the guys can and will do it. They’re really energized, so we’ll just see."

Just Jake Talkin'

Boomerang. Don’t know for sure, but I’ve always understood they originated in Australia. As kids, my neighbor and I fashioned these primitive, yet somehow sophisticated tools and learned to actually get ‘em to fly back within a respectable distance.

I suppose with enough practice ya might even be able to bring down a meal or two, but we never got that hungry. We were in it for the sport. I think that was also the summer we discovered sling shots. Not the kind with the fork and inner tube rubber bands, the kind with two strings and a piece a leather like David was usin’. Never got accurate with those either, but you could sure get some distance with a rock.

Around our neighbor hood, we soon fully understood the meanin’ of "give him plenty a room."

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.


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Weekly Columns



Dear Tom and Ray:

When I was learning to drive in the ‘50s, there was a rule to not drive above 40 mph on the highway for 10 minutes in order to give the bias-ply tires time to warm up so they wouldn’t be overstressed. Is there a similar rule for today’s radial tires? -Claude

Tom: Well, I learned to drive in the ‘50s too, and I don’t remember any such rule.

Ray: Not the 1850s, you dope. The 1950s! When my brother was learning to drive, wheels were wooden, and the biggest concern was getting splinters when you changed a tire!

Tom: The answer is no, Claude. There’s nothing you need to do to warm up radial tires. They can be driven at highway speed immediately.

Ray: I don’t even remember any rule about warming up old, bias-ply tires. I know that if bias-ply tires sat for a long time, they could develop flat spots. And then you’d have to drive them for a while to work out the flat spot so the tire would be perfectly round again. Maybe that’s why you were advised not to run them at high speed right away?

Tom; Or perhaps your father just wanted to keep you from driving fast for an extra 10 minutes, Claude.

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