Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees
a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course 10 degree
The light signals back: "Change
yours, 10 degrees west."
Angry, the captain sends:
"Im a navy captain! Change your course,
"Im a seaman, second
class," comes the reply. "Change your course,
Now the captain is furious.
"Im a battleship! Im not changing
There is one last reply. "Im
a lighthouse. Your call."
Our generation never got a break. When
we were young they taught us to respect our elders. Now
that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of
A Swiss man, looking for directions,
pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?"
he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Fracais?" he tries.
The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?"
No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still
nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first American turns to the second and says,
"Yknow, maybe we should learn a foreign
language." "Why?" says the other.
"That guy knew four languages, and it didnt do
him any good."
Mary goes to her first show at an art
gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge
canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint
splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray
color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Mary walks over to the artist and says, "I
dont understand your paintings."
"I paint what I feel inside
me," explains the artist.
"Have you ever tried
All generalizations are false,
including this one.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BECAUSE HE LOOKED
Yesterday T. M. Mooneyham, assistant
prosecuting attorney, went to Neck City, where he
convicted three men and brought two back with him to the
county jail last night.
Two of the evil-doers were in trouble
for the stealing of a bicycle and one of them now awaits
in the county jail the action of the circuit court, while
the other, a chap of 14 years pays $27 for his lesson,
and will beware in the future of riding another
The third man was E. E. Knapp, who was
found guilty of assault and was fined $30 and costs, but
being unable to pay it, he accompanied Mr. Mooneyham to
Carthage. When asked on the way to Carthage last why he
struck the man he replied that he "just wanted to
smash somebodys face and that man looked
easy." He said he had nothing against the man. He
has served a term in jail before for fighting.
Revenue Actually Up.
City Adminstrator Tom Short
reported to the City Council during their regular
meeting Tuesday evening that the drop in sales
tax reported in November did not reflect actual
Short said that after checking
with the State he learned that a vendor had been
awarded a one time $70,000 refund and it all came
out of sales tax due the City in November.
Short said that if the refund
had not been awarded that sales tax for the City
would be up by approximately 1.5% over last year.
The refund resulted in actual revenue of a minus
In other business, the Council
voted to authorize the Mayor to enter into an
agreement with Midwest Wholesalers, Inc. for
hauling and recycling of electronic waste.
The Council also authorized a
contract with Sprenkle and Associates, Inc. for
planning and design of sidewalk improvements. The
vote was 9-1 with Council member Charlie Bastin
The Council also heard the
first reading of bills amending qualification of
employees that primarily affect firefighters.
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Jimmie Johnson isnt
actually perched alone at the top of NASCAR. His
car owner, Rick Hendrick, has also won five
While five straight
championships as an owner doesnt rival such
attainment in a driver, its instructive to
note that Hendrick Motorsports Chevys have
won a total of 10 titles: five with Johnson, four
with Jeff Gordon and one with Terry Labonte. The
total equals the all-time record of 10, won by
Petty Enterprises with Richard (7) and Lee (3)
Hendrick, whose other business
interests include an empire of automobile
dealerships, never sits still. Johnson was the
only one of his four drivers who won races last
year. This led Hendrick to order an offseason
shuffle of crew chiefs among the teams of Jeff
Gordon, Mark Martin and Dale Earnhardt Jr.
The team shuffle pairs crew
chiefs Alan Gustafson with Jeff Gordon, Steve
Letarte with Earnhardt and Lance McGrew with
"I think we just got
complacent, and other teams were getting stronger
and stronger," said Hendrick. "We were
not really where we needed to be, so we started
to really try to step up our program in every
The decision was based,
Hendrick said, on a desire to "pair up
people that I thought would be better
Describing the changes only in
terms of crew chiefs is incomplete. The actual
change is in drivers linked to the respective
teams. Gordon, who drives No. 24, is now aligned
with the entire team, not just crew chief
"We are not changing the
people in the shops," said Hendrick.
"The people in the 24 and
48 (Johnson) shops will remain the
same. The only thing that will change is Jeff
Gordons seat becomes Dale Earnhardt
Jr.s seat. The cars, the people, will
remain the same. The same is true in the other
two shops (Earnhardt, Martin). The only things
changed were the seat, the driver, the sponsor
and the number."
Just having one team at the top
isnt enough to please Hendrick.
"We have to work a lot
harder and a lot smarter," he said.
"Im confident that the guys can and
will do it. Theyre really energized, so
well just see."
Boomerang. Dont know
for sure, but Ive always understood
they originated in Australia. As kids, my
neighbor and I fashioned these primitive, yet
somehow sophisticated tools and learned to
actually get em to fly back within a
I suppose with enough
practice ya might even be able to bring down
a meal or two, but we never got that hungry.
We were in it for the sport. I think that was
also the summer we discovered sling shots.
Not the kind with the fork and inner tube
rubber bands, the kind with two strings and a
piece a leather like David was usin.
Never got accurate with those either, but you
could sure get some distance with a rock.
Around our neighbor hood,
we soon fully understood the meanin of
"give him plenty a room."
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
CLICK and CLACK
Dear Tom and Ray:
When I was learning to drive in
the 50s, there was a rule to not drive
above 40 mph on the highway for 10 minutes in
order to give the bias-ply tires time to warm up
so they wouldnt be overstressed. Is there a
similar rule for todays radial tires?
Tom: Well, I learned to drive
in the 50s too, and I dont remember
any such rule.
Ray: Not the 1850s, you dope.
The 1950s! When my brother was learning to drive,
wheels were wooden, and the biggest concern was
getting splinters when you changed a tire!
Tom: The answer is no, Claude.
Theres nothing you need to do to warm up
radial tires. They can be driven at highway speed
Ray: I dont even remember
any rule about warming up old, bias-ply tires. I
know that if bias-ply tires sat for a long time,
they could develop flat spots. And then
youd have to drive them for a while to work
out the flat spot so the tire would be perfectly
round again. Maybe thats why you were
advised not to run them at high speed right away?
Tom; Or perhaps your father
just wanted to keep you from driving fast for an
extra 10 minutes, Claude.
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