The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, January 4, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 136

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Business Women of Missouri have Black Walnuts and Pecans for $9 a pound. Sales supports a Scholarship Program. 358-3505

today's laugh


A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy..."

A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.

Finally, he approached the workers and asked, "I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.

One of the city workers explained, "The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today."

The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried and old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said "I’m the Boss" and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!"

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it; Fifty people swindled!" Fifty people swindled! Curios, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, "Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "read all about it; Fifty-one people swindled!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Big Woodman Meeting Tonight.

The meeting of the Modern Woodmen tonight will be a very important one, as a vote will be taken on the question of the general reserve fund of the order. Every member of the order is entitled to one vote on this question, and that vote is counted regardless of the way the majority of his lodge votes. It is to be a vote of individual members, not a vote by lodges.

It is therefore urgently reguested that every member of the lodge turn out this evening, no matter what his sentiments on the question, and cast his vote and let it be counted for what it is worth. It is desirable to have a full expression of the membership on this important question.

Mrs. Mortz Schmidt and Mrs. W. G. Stevens were in Carthage last evening to attend the wedding of their sister, Miss Edith Thompson to Gurley Stanley.

  Today's Feature

MO General Assembly to Begin.

The First Regular Session of the 96th Missouri General Assembly begins on Wednesday, Jan. 5, 2010.

Lawmakers may prefile bills continuing up to, but not including, the first day of session. Bills filed during this period are automatically introduced and read the first time on the first day of the legislative session. Measures may also be introduced by any senator during the session, up until March 1, 2011.

This process is well underway, with approximately over 45 measures already prefiled in the Missouri Secretary of Senate’s office. Among those measures include bills addressing education, labor organizations, dog breeders, voter photo identification, unemployment benefits, workers’ compensation, automated phone calls, text messaging while driving, red light cameras, child support, and motor vehicle inspections.

A list of the bills prefiled for the 2011 legislative session will be available online at, click on "List of 2011 Senate Bills" under the "Legislation" drop down menu.

Just Jake Talkin'

Nothin’ like a couple a 50 or 60 degree days in the middle of January to brighten up the spirits some. Course with the relatively mild winter we’ve had, it’s hard ta claim cabin fever.

I’m always interested in the studies they do with folks bein’ deprived of sunlight over a period of time. They say when folks don’t have clocks or the sun to regulate their time, the natural rhythm of sleep and time awake moves into about a 25 hour cycle. Seems odd that we haven’t yet trained our bodies to more closely match the cycle of the sun. Or maybe when our biological clocks were bein’ set, the days were actually longer.

Instead of daylight savin’ time, maybe we should just go with the twenty-five hour day. There’d be less of ‘em ta keep track of and on occasion ya get ta sleep in some.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns

To Your Good Health

By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

When Medicines Fail to Quell Heartburn

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I am 25. I have a serious case of GERD. I’ve been put on four different medicines. They aren’t working.

I also have palpitations throughout the day. I’ve been told by doctors and nurses that there is nothing dangerous about them. I’d like to know if this true. -- J.C.

ANSWER: GERD -- gastroesophageal reflux disorder -- is heartburn. It’s the upward spurting of stomach acid and digestive juices into the esophagus, the swallowing tube, a place that is not able to cope with these corrosive juices the way the stomach is.

Eliminate or go easy on foods that make GERD worse: citrus fruits; tomatoes; onions; carbonated drinks; spicy, fatty or fried foods; chocolate; peppermint; and caffeine. If you’re overweight, weight loss lessens GERD symptoms. Don’t lie down after eating. Don’t smoke. Sleep with your head, chest and stomach on a slope by putting 6-inch blocks under the bedposts at the head of your bed. That position keeps stomach acid in the stomach. Don’t wear anything that constricts your stomach, like tight pants or tight belts.

Medicines called "proton pump inhibitors" nearly completely turn off acid production. Nexium, Prevacid, Prilosec, Protonix, Aciphex and Dexilant are their names. If you still have heartburn while on these medicines, it’s OK to use an antacid along with them.

If medicines fail, other causes of heartburn need consideration, things like bile reflux or eosinophilic esophagitis. If these conditions aren’t found, then surgical treatment of GERD is an option that’s open to you.

Palpitations mean a thumping or racing heart. They can be felt as a thud in the chest. The cause is an extra beat -- or more correctly, a premature beat -- one that comes before it should. The beat after a premature beat is delayed. During the delay, the heart fills with more blood than usual, and that causes a thump in the chest when the heart empties. Premature beats are almost always innocent and need no treatment. You can believe your doctors and nurses.

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