The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Friday, July 1, 2011 Volume XX, Number 10

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes Monday, June 27 through Friday July 1. Areas will be sprayed in the evening of the day of area garbage pickup between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight. Residents are asked to turn off attic or window fans when the sprayer is in their area.

today's laugh

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"


The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won’t jump all over you no matter what you’re studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won’t do.


A rather well proportioned young lady, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.

She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, & she slipped out of it for an overall tan.

She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn’t mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."

"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You’re lying on the dining room skylight."


An Amishman runs into the bishop of his church after missing the morning service. "I missed you at service this morning," the Bishop says.

"Well, Bishop", the Amishman says, "I had some hay to put up. I figured it was better to sit on a bale of hay thinking about God than to sit in church thinking about hay."


Clones are people two.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Cornerstone of Carthage Marble.

The cornerstone for the new Catholic church at Denison, Tex., T. K. Crowley, pastor, will be laid on Sunday. The cornerstone is an elegant piece of Carthage marble furnished by the Carthage Stone Co. It was neatly carved, lettered and polished by E. C. Thym and presents a fine appearance. The church will be built of brick trimmed in Carthage stone and will cost $50,000 when completed.

Teachers Examination.

State superintendent of public schools, John R. Kirke, will be in Carthage to conduct examinations for state teacher certificates at the High school building. County superintendent, W. N. Wharton will conduct examinations at the high school building on the 19th.

Bits of Information.

An order has been issued forbidding the sale of liquor in the restaurants of the Maine Central railroad.

  Today's Feature

Sidewalk Sale July 23.

The Carthage Chamber of Commerce’s Annual Summer Sidewalk Sale is scheduled for Saturday, July 23rd. Is your business ready? "Businesses from the far south side of Carthage all the way to the downtown Square have already committed to taking part in this year’s event, but there are still many businesses we’d like to have participate." said Neely Myers, Membership Director.

"If you’re a retailer, ask yourself what you can do to get people in your door," said Myers. "What teasers can you put out to draw interest and foot traffic to your business?"

As in past years, the Greater British Motor Club will host its annual car show on the square in conjunction with the retail event. The Carthage Farmer’s Market will be open that morning on the north side of the Square. The Historic Downtown Art Walk is also scheduled to be held around the Square that Friday evening and Saturday from 10-3.

For additional information, please contact Neely at 358-2373 or

Jasper County Jail Count

219 June 30, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

Some things are just hard to explain. ‘Course usually they aren’t near as complicated as we make them out to be.

The hard part is gettin’ through the explainin’ without gettin’ your britches warmed. That’s what makes it hard.

I was fortunate as a kid that usually, if the act wasn’t intentional, and the explainin’ was exceptional, I’d get by with a stern lecture and maybe less freedom for a predetermined amount of time.

The football player was prob’ly the most unusual though. I was watchin’ tv and was plannin’ on goin’ outside to shoot the BB gun. I took careful aim with the weapon and slowly pulled the trigger. Wham! I was impressed with the marksmanship, but totally surprised that the air rifle went off. I had no idea it was cocked. I didn’t do any more shootin’ for a while.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


ART NOTES from Hyde House

by Sally Armstrong, Director of artCentral

Could there have been a more perfect night than last Friday for great weather? Yes, it was a bit warm, but considering the day before the forecast was for 70% rain, I think we did pretty well! Our opening night for the Annual Membership show was well attended and a great success, with over 60 members and guests attending, some with their families. The board of directors all turned out to help, and kudos to Sarah Ross, Helen Kunze, Kristin Huke, Jackie Boyer & Melody Knowles for manning the kitchen and to Dean Vandergriff, Pat Goff and my husband Dan for erecting the three tents, carrying tables and chairs and then doing the reverse after it was over! That’s heavy labor and the boys were appreciated. My thanks too, to members Mary Jean and Steve Beimdiek for assisting at the food table collecting the funds. Thanks everybody, we couldn’t have done it without you! Our award winners for this year include, Dan McWilliams of Jasper, 1st Award and 300.00 for his oil painting "COFFEE", to Jim Bilgere of Carthage, 2nd Award and 200.00 for his watercolor "A PARK IN PRAGUE", Mary Ann Soerries of Joplin, 3RD Award and 100.00 for her photograph "HUMMINGBIRD NEST", and John Mills of Lamar, the Underwriter’s Award and 100.00 for his oil painting "CANTALOUPE WITH BLUE PITCHER". Congratulations to all of these winners, and to everybody who brought their work again this year. Some of our artists are donating all or a portion of the sale of their work to the Joplin relief effort, and one painting was sold last night, that of Tyla Raredon. The $150.00 from the sale of this painting will be directed to the Joplin Humane Society at her request, and we know it will be appreciated. I know the upcoming weekend is a holiday, and we have some special hours posted on our door, so call first to hear our holiday hours if you desire to come over and view this beautiful show. My hours the second weekend of July will be as usual, Friday – Sunday, noon to 5:00.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.