The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, July 14, 2011 Volume XX, Number 18

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The Tornado Recovery Support Group will meet at 7 p.m. in the McCune Brooks RH Room 1942 July 19 & 26. Open to the public. Call 359-2636 for more information.

Did Ya Know?..The Grace Episcopal Church will hold an Art-A-Fair this Friday, July 15 from 5-8 p.m. Silent Auction, wine tasting & cheeses. Donation of $5 to benefit Youth Travel.

today's laugh

A little boy walks into a pet store, and asks the keeper, "Hey Mister... Can I get some boyd seed??

The shopkeeper says "Pardon me?", to which the little boy repeats "Hey Mister... Can I please get some boyd seed??

The shop keeper says "Well, it’s caled BIRD SEED, not boyd seed, so you go home and practice, and come back when you can say it properly..."

The little boy leaves, and comes back in two days. As the shopkeeper approaches, the little boy asks, "Hey Mister... Can I PUH-LEASE have some boyd seed?!?

Again, the shopkeeper explains to him it is called BIRD SEED, and he is to go home and practice, and come back when he can say it properly...

Two more days pass, and the little boy again enters the pet store. The shopkeeper approaches him and the boy asks, "Hey Mister... do ya wanna buy a dead boyd?!?"

in a courtroom...

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Midnight Marriage.

Chas. B. Bumgartner, a miner at South Carthage, and Miss Honorah Read, who lives near the mines, were married about midnight last night in the recorder’s office at the court house. They came to Carthage about 11:30 and appealed to Howard Betebenner to help them out. He routed up Recorder J. A. Sigler and while the license was being procured Night Officer Asa Hurst went after Justice T. M. Garland who quickly made them man and wife in the presence of the night police, Howard Betebenner, Recorder Sigler and Chas. Hale. After congratulations, the witnesses celebrated the occasion fittingly at the invitation of Recorder Sigler and Justice Garland.

You ought to know when suffering kidney trouble a safe sure remedy is Foley’s Kidney Cure. Guaranteed or money refunded. Wells Drug Co., 316 east side of square.

  Today's Feature

Council Hears Objections.

The City Council heard from local real estate company representatives during the regular meeting Tuesday evening. They ask that the proposed contract with Keller Williams of Joplin be rejected and more consideration be give to local real estate agents to sell the remaning Myers Park property.

The proposed contract would give Keller Williams exclusive rights to sell the property for the next two years.

Local agent Kip Smith asked the Council to "Reject this as written" and "Take this back to the drawing board."

The Council later heard the first reading of the ordinance authorizing the contract but there were no comments or discussion by the members. A vote on the proposal is scheduled for the next regular meeting in two weeks.

In other business, City Administrator Tom Short told the Council that due to the deteriation of expensive fire fighting equipment with no funding in place, discussion of a fire protection sales tax were being initiated at committee level. He also reported that sales tax revenues were up slightly.

Jasper County Jail Count

190 July 13, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County


By Monte Dutton

‘Parity’ Is Buzzword of 2011 Season


In 2010, 13 drivers won Sprint Cup races. David Ragan became 2011’s 12th. The Coke Zero 400 was the 17th race of the season, one shy of the halfway point.

They are Kevin Harvick (3), Kyle Busch (2), Matt Kenseth (2), Jeff Gordon (2), Carl Edwards, Kurt Busch, Jimmie Johnson, Denny Hamlin, Ragan, Brad Keselowski, Regan Smith and Trevor Bayne.

Just as surprising are some of the drivers who still haven’t won races: among them Dale Earnhardt Jr., Clint Bowyer, Ryan Newman, Tony Stewart, Greg Biffle, Juan Pablo Montoya, Mark Martin, Kasey Kahne, Jeff Burton and Jamie McMurray.

To cite one example, Stewart has won at least once in every season of his career, dating all the way back to 1999.

As such, it appears possible that NASCAR’s all-time record for winning drivers within a single season will be exceeded. Nineteen drivers visited victory lane in 2001, 1961, 1958 and 1956.

Earnhardt, while congratulating Ragan, also said of Daytona, "I don’t know. It’s weird racing.

"What kind of move can you make? ... There ain’t no move you can make. You just hold it on the mat and try not to wreck into each other. You see how good we are at that."

Sure, both Daytona victories this year, by Bayne and Ragan, were monumental upsets, but the trend goes deeper than just restrictor-plate tracks.

In Harvick’s three victories, he led a combined total of nine laps. Victories by drivers who actually dominated races have been few and far between, most notably Kurt Busch’s Infineon Raceway triumph and Kenseth’s win at Texas Motor Speedway.

Track position has become exceedingly important at most tracks. Fuel mileage seems at least as crucial as speed. The ranks of adept road racers has thickened. The past five Sonoma (Infineon) races have been won by drivers who had never previously won on road courses.

A few weeks back, it seemed as if the season was developing a pattern and that familiar stars were taking control. Perhaps that was the impression that was fleeting.

Just Jake Talkin'

Worked with a guy once that showed such a fear for snakes that coworkers would toss pieces of rope at him just to watch him yell and squirm. They’d sneak a rubber snake into his lunch box and all try to be around when he opened it. . Ever’one would have a big laugh.

I got ta thinkin’ after a while the guy would catch on and at least try to ignore such pranks, but he would always give the anticipated reaction. I have ta figure that at some point he started likin’ the attention and played up to the "snake hater" image a bit.

‘Course a lotta folks learn what buttons ta push ta make acquaintances squirm a little, they are just a little more subtle. They toss out the bait and see if anyone bites. After a while ya have ta question the judgment or the motives of someone who gets hooked too often.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Metcalf Auto Supply

Weekly Column



I am writing to you to settle a disagreement that my dad and mom had when I was a kid (in the 1970s) and my wife and I have currently. Does an engine ever need to be floored (hard acceleration) to "blow out the carbon"? Was that merely an excuse for my dad to show off his 1967 Hemi Dart at stoplights? Or was there actual benefit for the hard acceleration once in a while? I use that same excuse with my wife at stoplights (in a much slower vehicle). Neither my mom nor my wife believes it has any benefit, and they think it would be just fine for the rpm to stay at or below 3,000 for the lifetime of the engine. What do you think? -- David

RAY: I think I’m going to ruin your day, David. Because I have to break the news to you that your wife and mother are absolutely right.

TOM: In the ‘70s, cars had carburetors. Carburetors let gasoline slosh into the cylinders. And with all that excess gasoline, a buildup of carbon was a much more common problem.

RAY: There was a school of thought that suggested that running the car at high speed would help clean the caked-on carbon off the valves and pistons.

TOM: But by "running the car at high speed," they meant taking it on the highway for a long, high-speed drive -- not stomping on the gas at a stoplight and leaving a lime-green AMC Pacer in the dust.

RAY: But cars haven’t had carburetors since the 1980s, and carbon buildup on the pistons almost never is a problem.

TOM: So it’s time to catch up with the times, David. You’re in for a little humiliation when you have to apologize to the women in your life. But don’t worry -- you’ll look good wearing those pants up around your chest ... mumbling "yes, dear."

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.