The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, July 26, 2011 Volume XX, Number 26

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?.. The Carthage Crisis Center Presents A Free Furniture and Appliance Distribution for Tornado Survivors and other Needy Families At 9 AM on Saturday August 6, 2011 at 100 Main Street.

Did Ya Know?..The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes Monday, July 25 through Friday, July 29. Areas will be sprayed between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight the day of garbage pick-up.

today's laugh

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight lifters,longshoremen, etc..) but nobody could do it.

One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I’d like to try the bet."

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said "okay," grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.

He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?"

He replied, "I work for the IRS."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

They Appeared By Proxy.

Bond Jumping Wheat Stealers Let Off With a Small Fine.

Andrew Kemper and O. W. Lyon, the two farmers from near Jasper charged with stealing wheat, were not present when their case was called in Justice Tyree’s court this morning. C. E. Burch appeared for them as their attorney and entered a plea of guilty. They were fined $1 and costs each, making a total of about $35. This was promptly paid.

It will be remembered that when the men were arrested here they put up a team and wagon with Attorney John H. Bailey, and he went their security to the extent of $50 each. They failed to appear for trial and the case was continued to allow Mr. Bailey an opportunity to find the men. They had skipped the country, however, and it afterward developed that one of the horses did not belong to either of them and the other was mortgaged to Weeks & Son. The horses were replevined and the attorney was left in the hole.

He seems to have now solved the problem, which confronted him very neatly, as well as demonstrated some new points in criminal practice. Had the men appeared in court in person they would have in all probability been given jail sentences, and the query naturally arises what brand of rabbit foot did the young attorney work on Justice Tyree to induce him to let them off with simple fines of $1 each and costs.

  Today's Feature

Myers Park Vote Scheduled Tonight.

The City Council is scheduled to meet this evening at 7:30 in City Hall Council Chambers.

Included on the agenda is an Ordinance authorizing the Mayor to enter into a contract with Keller Williams of Joplin for the marketing and sale of property located at Myers Park in the City of Carthage.

During the last regular Council meeting three citizens, which included two representatives of Carthage realtors, requested that this ordinance be reworked.

Mayor Mike Harris defended the decision to hire Keller Williams after that meeting noting the company had a national network that could reach a larger number of potential buyers for the property.

He also acknowledged that only Keller Williams representatives had an actual face-to-face interview with the selection committee.

The agenda also includes a first reading of an ordinance authorizing a contract with Reed Concrete Construction for the pouring and finishing of a concrete pad in Griggs Park for a skate park.

Jasper County Jail Count

201 July 25, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

Used ta be three basic hair cuts. Burr (natural), Flat top (Butch Wax), and long (Brylcream). Made things a lot easier on barbers I suppose. But I’ll bet the barber shops had a hay-day retrainin’ when the newer styles came along.

‘Course the big problem some have expressed with the Butch Wax was the girls couldn’t run their fingers through their fingers through their hair like the Brylcream commercials always talked about. Never figured that one out either, why that gal on the commercial liked ta get her hands all greasy like that. Bet she had trouble hangin’ on to her lipstick after that.

It was a catchy little phrase though, "a little dab’ll do ya." Seems like it otta fit into "Does eat oats" somewhere. Oh well, hair today, gone tomorrow.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

To Your Good Health

By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Heat and the Elderly

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: My mother is 92 and lives by herself. She’s quite independent and does well. A neighbor takes her grocery shopping, and we take her to other places she has to go. She is extremely set in her ways.

I offered to have her home air-conditioned. She won’t hear of it. She says she’s used a fan all her life, and she likes to keep the windows open.

I worry about someone her age tolerating heat, and it gets very hot here. Can you provide some arguments that would change her mind? -- D.A.

ANSWER: Your offer to air-condition your mother’s home is a kind gesture and has lots of merit. I’m not about to challenge your mother. She has successfully lived a long life, and I could learn from her. People in the past lived comfortably without air conditioning.

Your mother does have to be on guard for dehydration and heat sickness.

During hot summers, everyone has to stay well hydrated. Older people’s sense of thirst is not as reliable an indicator of fluid needs as is younger people’s thirst sense. She should sip water all day long, or she can choose any beverage she likes, including tea. Cooled drinks help keep the body cooled.

Evaporation is the chief means the body has for staying cool. Not only is an older person’s thirst sensation blunted, but so is the ability to sweat. Evaporation of sweat cools the body. I don’t mean visible sweat; the sweating I mean is imperceptible but constant. Her fan helps evaporate that imperceptible sweat. However, with a reduced capacity to sweat, older people are at greater risk of suffering from a heat injury.

Increased body heat increases the body’s need for oxygen, and that stresses the heart.

On very hot days, how about inviting your mother over to your house until the hot spell breaks?

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.