The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, July 5, 2011 Volume XX, Number 11

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The Tornado Recovery Support Group will meet at 7 p.m. in the McCune Brooks RH Room 1942 July 5, 12, 19 & 26. Open to the public. Call 359-2636 for more information.

today's laugh

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


The types of cows

If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.

If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.

If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.

If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn’t believe it.

If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.

If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

She Took A Shot At Him.

Today shortly after noon a man appeared at the home of a Mr. Shelton on Boisd’ Arc street and asked for a drink of water. There was no one at home but Miss Shelton and she complied with his request. After drinking he inquired about a vacant house next door, asking who had the renting of it. Miss Shelton gave him what information she possessed and he started over to look at the house. He entered the building and went into the basement. He then appeared at a window and after attracting her attention began to undress. Miss Shelton ran into the house and procured a revolver and the fellow made a break to run. She appeared a moment later and fired four shots after his fleeting figure. Bullets spatted around him at a lively rate but he was not hit as far as known. The last seen of him he was running south on River street with a dog belonging to a neighbor swinging to his coattail.

  Today's Feature

McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital Partners with St. John’s.

After the events of May 22 left a devastating impact on the Joplin area, McCune-Brooks has worked to provide services to St. John’s patients and room for several Mercy physicians. According to hospital officials, when it became obvious that staff would temporarily need to be increased, those positions were offered to St. John’s employees through St. John’s Talent Sharing program. The partnership will put about 80 St. John’s co-workers back to work delivering health care.

"After orientation in our system and introduction to our mission, vision and values, St. John’s Partner employees will help us ensure continued patient safety and comfort, allowing us to continue to provide patient-centered care," said Bob Copeland, CEO of McCune-Brooks.

In addition, McCune-Brooks has signed an Assistance Agreement with St. John’s to provide for the expansion of beds from 25 to 52 and to furnish staff and equipment for a third surgery suite. Funding will come from an unrestricted donation by St. John’s to McCune-Brooks. The increased beds and surgery suite will help St. John’s with the added space they need for their providers to work. St. John’s hospitalists will provide coverage 24 hours a day / 7 days a week and additional specialists such as anesthesiologists, surgeons, ENT and gastroenterologists will also join the medical staff.

"We did a tour of McCune Brooks and were absolutely impressed with the design of the facility and the fact that it is built around the patient experience," explained Gary Pulsipher, St. John’s Mercy Hospital president / CEO. "This is a wonderful arrangement for co-workers and patients alike. Patients can get care close to home. And we are able to give St. John’s Mercy co-workers and physicians a place to serve."

"Our passion to provide great care to our patients drives our number one ranking, out of 86 participating Missouri hospitals, according to the National Hospital Consumer Assessment of Healthcare Providers survey or HCAHPS. We are committed to providing the very best service to all of our patients and the gift of St. John’s talent and financial assistance will go a long ways towards ensuring that happens." Copeland said.

McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital serves patients primarily from the counties of Jasper, Newton, Barton, Greene, and Lawrence. The medical staff includes family practice physicians, surgeons, and other specialists. Staff is made up of physicians, whose primary practice is in Carthage, as well as those who maintain an office in both Carthage and Joplin. An emergency room with 24-hour physician coverage is available for patients who need urgent care due to illness or injury.

Jasper County Jail Count

202 July 1, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

In the oil patch there is a thing called tank "bottoms." This is the thick gooey stuff that settles to the bottom of the oil tank out in the field.

When the gauger comes ta check your tank for the buyer, they check ta see how much bottom there is in a tank. Too much and they won’t buy the oil.

The usual practice is to stir the bottom up real good as ya pump the oil outa the tank so as ta get ever’thing floatin’ so it flows out with the oil.

‘Course the buyers know the practice and they’d prefer that the mess wasn’t stirred at all. They’d be better off if ever’thing just settled and there was a good cleanin’ ever now and then.

Usually it’s not the stirrin’ that causes the most problems, it what floats to the surface that folks don’t want to deal with.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

To Your Good Health

By Paul G. Donohue, M.D.

Getting a Handle on Heartburn

DEAR DR. DONOHUE: After an endoscopy, the doctor told me I have a hiatal hernia. He said nothing could be done for it and that I will have to live with it the rest of my life. He gave me no medicines or advice. I am anxious about this and would appreciate any info you can give me. -- Anon.

ANSWER: The swallowing tube -- the esophagus -- begins at the throat, travels down the chest and finally ends by attaching to the stomach. To reach the stomach, it must go through an opening in the diaphragm, the muscle that separates the chest from the abdominal cavity. That opening is the hiatus. A hiatal hernia is a bulging of part of the stomach through the hiatus and into the chest cavity. Many times, a hiatal hernia causes no symptoms and needs no treatment.

At other times, a hiatal hernia produces GERD -- gastroesophageal reflux -- an upward spurting of acid and digestive juices from the stomach into the esophagus. That brings on heartburn, a common problem with many treatments. People without such a hernia also develop GERD.

Here are some tips to handle heartburn. Lose weight, if need be. Don’t eat within three hours of going to bed. Elevate the head of your bed using blocks that are 6 to 8 inches tall and placed under the bedposts. This keeps stomach juices in the stomach while you sleep. Sleep on your left side for the same reason. Don’t wear constricting garments around the abdomen or too tight a belt. Take antacids as needed -- Tums, Rolaids, Mylanta and Maalox. Eliminate any food that gives you heartburn. Usual offenders are citrus fruits, tomatoes, onions, spicy foods, fatty and fried foods, chocolate, carbonated beverages, mints and caffeinated drinks.

If these steps don’t solve the heartburn problem, try medicines called acid blockers: Tagamet (cimetidine), Zantac (ranitidine), Pepcid (famotidine) and Axid (nizatidine). In low doses, all of these can be purchased without a prescription.

The next step is medicines that turn off acid production. Prilosec (omeprazole) doesn’t require a prescription. The prescription drugs are Prevacid, Nexium, Aciphex, Protonix and Dexilant.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.