A client who felt his legal
bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs.
The statement included
Was walking down the
street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the
corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and
walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it
wasnt you. -$50.00.
The U.S. Treasury announced today that
it is recalling all of the Alabama quarters that are part
of its program featuring quarters from each state.
"We are recalling all the new
Alabama quarters that were recently issued,"
Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.
"This action is being taken after numerous reports
that the new quarters will not work in parking meters,
toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other
The quarters were issued in the order
in which the various states joined the U.S. and have been
a tremendous success among coin collectors worldwide.
"The problem lies in the unique
design of the Alabama quarter, which was created by an
Auburn University graduate," Shackleford said.
"Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and
the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated
That cant be my ball, caddie. It
looks far too old.", said the player looking at a
ball deep in the trees
"Its a long time since we
"So I was getting into my car, and
this bloke says "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the
worlds your oyster, go for it."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Record Broken.
Female Department of the
County Jail Empty for Three Days.
For the first time since the
administration of W. H. Warren as sheriff of Jasper
county, the female department at the jail has lacked an
occupant. For three whole days, ending yesterday, not a
woman or girl of whatever age, color or previous
condition of servitude, stared out of the upper windows
of the jail at the passers by on East Fourth street, and
Turnkey Jeff Plummer gazed about in a helpless sort of
way, as though the old jail did not seem quite the same.
But such an unwanted goodness among the fair sex could
not last, and yesterday one Alice Simons was brought up
from Webb City to serve eight days for lewd conduct. She
is as yet solitary and alone. The entire population of
the jail is now only 48.
Ten people died in traffic
crashes during the 2011 July Fourth holiday
counting period. The counting period began at 6
p.m., Friday, July 1, 2011, and ended at 11:59
pm, Monday, July 4, 2011. The Missouri State
Highway Patrol worked 259 crashes in which eight
people died and 130 were injured. Troopers
arrested 168 people for driving while intoxicated
during this years holiday weekend. The
Kansas City Police Department investigated two
During last years
counting period, troopers worked 281 traffic
crashes in which six people died and 134 were
injured. Statewide, in 2010, there were 1,121
traffic crashes, in which 13 people died and 472
were injured. Troopers made 169 driving while
intoxicated arrests during the 2010 counting
There were no boating
fatalities over the 2011 July Fourth weekend.
However, troopers investigated ten boating
crashes involving five injuries. One person
drowned on Missouri waterways. Troopers also
arrested 33 people for boating while intoxicated
over the holiday weekend.
County Jail Count
201 July 6, 2011
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Beyond His Years
Joey Logano, who won the Sprint
Cup Series Rookie of the Year award in
2009, turned some heads at Infineon Raceway by
winning the pole.
The 21-year-old had won a pole
before, at Bristol in 2010, but few expected him
to record the fastest time at a road course. Race
day wasnt bad, either, as Logano finished a
creditable sixth in his No. 20 Home Depot Toyota.
It was easily his best-ever finish at the
series two road courses, Infineon and
The Sonoma, Calif., layout
provided a welcome and unexpected lift in
Loganos fortunes. The Middletown, Conn.,
native remains only 23rd in the points standings
after finishing 20th in 2009 and 16th in 2010.
The Infineon finish was only his third top-10 of
the season to date.
"This is the last place I
figured wed ever get a pole," said
Logano after averaging more than 93 mph around
the 11-turn, 1.99-mile course.
After the sixth-place finish,
he added, "I cant tell you how badly I
needed something like this. Its definitely
going to help our season. I think its
definitely going to get us some momentum."
Logano was NASCARs
youngest top rookie ever, and he also became the
youngest driver ever to win a Cup race on June
28, 2009, when he won a rain-shortened race at
New Hampshire Motor Speedway.
At Sonoma, Robby Gordon and
Logano clashed during the race.
"Thats no big deal
to me," said Logano, referring to Gordon.
"I dont know. He was running me all
over the race track. He knocked my fender in for
no reason. We were a lot, lot faster than him. I
just had enough. I wasnt going to get
pushed around. He pushed me around before, and I
was sick of it.
"I think thats a
small story. Thats not a big deal. We
finished sixth. Im pretty happy about
What would be a big story would
be a Logano comeback, now that he has some
momentum. To make the Chase, he would have to win
at least one race and somehow get himself into
the top 20 in points.
Thanks to changes in the Chase
format implemented this year, hes still got
a shot, albeit a small one.
Should tools with a life
time warranty be depreciated? Should the
manufacturer be allowed to take depreciation,
they are the ones who will ultimately have to
replace any broken or worn out tools.
There are tools that
depreciate so fast that they are allowed as
expenses. Saw blades for instance, or drill
bits. Evertime such an instrument is used it
grows closer to bein worn out. Each
whole or board cut could be assigned a cost
to cover the replacement.
One businessman I knew, who
owned a small sundry store needed an ice
machine. He put one of those coin operated
timers on the wall hooked to the electricity.
He put four quarters in and it would run for
a day. At the end of the month, hed
retrieve the quarters and make the payment on
the machine. Such a contraption on the home
tv might be a rewarding proposition.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
My mom is great. I love her,
and I need to know how to help her. She has a
74 Fiat Spider convertible. Its
adorable and fast, and she loves it. But
its not running. AGAIN. Its been
parked for about a year or so now, covered with a
tarp. The canvas roof has a hole, so it would
need to be replaced. The clutch (the reason it
was parked) needs to be replaced, and now the
battery is dead. My dad also thinks the
carburetor is shot.
My mom burst into tears at
seeing its accumulated damage, and has despaired
over not taking better care of it. My dad and I
think we should get her a Mazda Miata. Do I try
to help her keep the Fiat, or is it better to
stop fighting it and let it go? -- Nora
RAY: Nora, youve come to
the right place. It just so happens that
weve run an identical experiment recently,
involving someone whos unnaturally attached
to a decrepit Fiat Spider --
TOM: That would be me.
RAY: -- and a sympathetic,
wiser, more detached family member, who replaced
said Fiat with a Mazda Miata.
TOM: That would be my brother,
except for the "wiser" part.
RAY: My brother has been
nursing along a 1978 Fiat Spider on which almost
nothing works. How do I know? Because he keeps
asking me to fix it for him. I decided not to fix
it anymore. And then, the next weekend, he was at
a garage sale, and he found a 1993 Mazda Miata
with 53,000 miles on it, for $3,000.
TOM: Yeah. I hate to admit it,
but my brothers right. Unless youre a
mechanic, or you have a brother dumb enough to
chew up his knuckles for you, youre much
better off with a Miata, which will provide all
the fun of the Fiat, with five times the safety,
and at a fraction of the maintenance costs.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.