The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Friday, July 8, 2011 Volume XX, Number 14

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The Tornado Recovery Support Group will meet at 7 p.m. in the McCune Brooks RH Room 1942 July 12, 19 & 26. Open to the public. Call 359-2636 for more information.

today's laugh

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 47 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, NO!"

Only the states of South Carolina, West Virginia and Arkansas were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. ‘A million dollars,’ he answered, ‘because I want to donate it to M.I.T.’

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. ‘I want to give a million to my family,’ he explained, ‘and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.’

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, ‘Three million dollars.’

‘Why so much more than the others?’ asked the interviewer.

The lawyer replied, ‘If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.’

New Exercises

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.

Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.


"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP


"Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Married at Baxter Springs.

Chas. P. Wood and Miss Emily Valentine, both well-known young people of this city, were united in marriage on Sunday, at the home of the bride’s uncle in Baxter Springs, Kansas. The license was procured at Columbus, Kansas, and the marriage was quietly performed and kept a secret for the reason that there was parental objection to the wedding on both sides. It had been the plan of the young people to keep their marriage a profound secret for a year and then make it known publicly, but it leaked out in spite of their plans. Mr. Wood is a local reporter and well-known in Carthage, being a high school graduate, a prominent member of the Carthage Light Guard, and generally well liked by all that know him. Miss Valentine is also a high school graduate, having been a member of the same class with Mr. Wood. She is a bright, pretty girl, and has a wide circle of friends.

  Today's Feature

July 9th Sesquicentennial Commemoration Schedule of Events

Central Park in Carthage, Missouri

9:30 AM – 4 PM Vendors Open

9:30 AM Heartland Band performs

10:00 AM Opening Ceremonies

Master of Ceremonies – Tom Flanigan

Featuring the Holmes Brigade

10:15 AM Official Commemoration

Mayor Mike Harris

Congressman Billy Long

Steve McIntosh for

Senator Roy Blunt’s Office

Senator Ron Richard

Representative Tom Flanigan

11:30 AM Memorial Retiring of Colors

12:00 – 1:30 PM Judy Domeny performs Traditional Music

12:00- 4 PM Living History Displays including Cannon, Stump Speeches, Nerf Cannon and the Union German American Project

Other Community Activities on Saturday,

Kiwanis Kiddieland in Municipal Park

Demonstrations at the Battle of Carthage State Historic Site

Civil War Exhibit "Divided Loyalties" and an interactive downtown History Hunt at Powers Museum (open at 1 pm)

Jasper County Jail Count

186 July 7, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

The basic premise that the natural order of things is ta be in chaos is comforting at times. There are times that I feel I’m livin’ a little closer to nature than I’d like. All we can hope for is "controlled chaos."

The example sometimes used is a balloon filled with hellium. The gas is flyin’ around inside the balloon tryin’ to expand and get out into the atmosphere. The balloon is the controllin’ factor, bringin’ some order to it all and at least providin’ entertainment for the child at the other end of the string.

Even in this situation, there is always the random possibility that some other kid has discovered the excitement of insertin’ a pin into the mix.

If ya want ta experience chaos, try to explain to a three year old where his toy disappeared to and the natural order of random acts by the neighbor’s kid.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


ART NOTES from Hyde House

by Sally Armstrong, Director of artCentral

The time is winding down to be able to see the art in our current exhibition, the annual Membership Show. This group of 59 works will be still viewable this weekend, Friday noon to 5:00, Saturday noon to 5:00 and Sunday 1:00 to 5:00, and then it will close to ready the gallery for our kid’s camp, the next order of business for artCentral. We had some folks over during the past holiday weekend, one lady from Neosho for the first time. I am always pleased when someone discovers us for the first time, and she did so having seen the nice article written about us last Sunday in the Joplin GLOBE. That publication was particularly interested in the works that relate back to the tornado, and I appreciated the coverage given us in that venue. My thanks to Tyla Raredon and Jim Bilgere, docents of artCentral who assisted in the past two weekends. Now, we will be re-arranging things a bit to ready the Pottery House classrooms and galleries for our kids who will be beginning camp on the 18th, and who will be there every day through the end of the month. I have about 40 "camper artists" thus far, but certainly am hoping for more, so if you have been considering sending in your child’s registration and just haven’t done it, now is a perfect time! The Pottery Wheel- Throwing class is full, but we have a good availability in most other classes at this time. A fine local artist and citizen of Carthage passed away recently, and we thank the family of Richard Logsdon who have graciously and generously named artCentral as one of his places for memorial contributions. I know that many students may find a need for assistance this year with their classes, and thanks to Mr. Logsdon and other patrons we do have some scholarship funds available, so please inquire if that is something of interest to you. Dick Logsdon exhibited primarily in New England, having lived in Vermont for a time, and his paintings are owned by many Carthage citizens as well as others across the country. His beautiful oils were very representational of rural and small town life, and were a joy to view. I was able to be present at his last showing of work at the St.Lukes Care Center this past spring, and am so glad he was able to have that last showing of work locally. If you are interested in further information about artCamp, we have brochures with registration cards on our porch at Hyde House, 1110 E. 13th St. or you can find some at the Carthage Library in the children’s area. Come out and see our member’s work this weekend, the last for this exhibition!

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.