The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, June 1, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 238

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..Homeowners affected by the storm, Samaritan’s Purse will help you for free! Samaritan’s Purse is doing debris removal, roof tarping, using chainsaw teams for tree removal.Tornado victims needing help can either stop by our "base camp" or call the number below. based out of Forest Park Baptist Church,725 South Highview Drive (7th and Rangeline) 417-623-4606

today's laugh

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Q: How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

A: There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


An old man goes to his doctor and says, "I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?"

The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t respond keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What’s for dinner, honey?"

No response.

He moves to ten feet behind her and asks again, no response. Five feet, no answer.

Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what’s for supper?"

She says, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Nearly All the Money for the Carriage Factory Has Been Raised.

The committee appointed to solicit funds for the purchase of a site for the carriage factory has been meeting with fair success the past few days and are on the last $100 of the amount, and though the subscriptions come very slowly the amount is so comparatively small that they could hardly fail in raising it. Major A. F. Lewis and Henry Keim were soliciting today and put in the time to the best advantage. The contract for erecting the building has been let to James Ross on the condition that the remaining $100 be raised.

Pension Day Dinner.

The ladies of the Soldiers’ Monument Association gave their pension day dinner at the Lewis building today. Pension vouchers were made out free of charge. The dinner was very well patronized and the ladies took in $16.60, nearly all of which is clear.

  Today's Feature

Carthage Y Update.

The first few days last week we needed fisherman with nets, because the shelters and distribution centers were in need of everything. Well now, we need hunters with bows, because the needs are much more selective. I contacted several of the shelters & here is the latest list of needed supplies:

50 Twin Size Mattresses, 50 Alarm Clocks, A few Microwaves, New Adult size Pajamas (they have lots for kids, but not adults), New sheets, towels, pillows, Lots of Sun Block for workers in the disaster areas, Snacks – Sandwiches, health bars (granola), 550 Rubber Tubs – they are going through a lot of these, Lots of Gatorade & Power Aide – One Center went through almost a semi load over the weekend, $25 gift cards so that victims of the tornado can get gas for their vehicles, T-Shirts for very large men & women – 4t & 5T sizes, 15-20 light weight plastic tables, Toiletries, Strong Sturdy Work Gloves, Sizes C & D Batteries.

Please drop your donations at the Y in Carthage – 2600 S. Grand – right across street from Wal Mart. Bob Bob Brower, Exec. Director Fair Acres Family YMCA

Jasper County Jail Count

May 31, Tuesday 191

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

Did a drive through of Joplin from Maiden Lane to the new by-pass over the weekend. We have a continuous video of the drive on our web site,

I know a lot of folks like myself have stayed away to let emergency personnel do their job. Hopefully the video will give a real sense of the power of the tornado and the enormity of the task ahead for those affected.

There is a lot of information being passed along on the internet, but those who aren’t connected miss most of that. We’ll try to keep a good portion of it in print to keep the information flowin’.

The Y seems to be keepin’ a good handle on what is needed. Call them if you want to help.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• Keep medication bottles to hold buttons, spare change or even hand lotion. Be sure to clean well before reusing.

• "Stuff boots with clean foam egg cartons to keep them from flopping over between wearings. If the leg material is not heavy, you can even cut a carton in half lengthwise. Rolled-up magazines also will work for this purpose." -- I.Y. in New York

• "Used fabric-softener sheets can be used to shine faucets and to clean the tub. I use mine for dusting around the house too. To keep a steady supply, I put an empty tissue box next to my dryer. When the clothes (and the used sheets) come out, I stuff them down in the box, and they are ready whenever I need one." -- B.J. in Arizona

• A chef’s trick to keep cooked spinach green is to make sure the pot is not covered while cooking.

• "When cooking shrimp in a bouillon, put them in the freezer for about 10 minutes before cooking. They will cook up nice and tender. I have had success with this when grilling too. When putting shrimp on a skewer, I use double skewers, which hold about five shrimp. When I thread the skewers side by side, the shrimp are easier to turn over, and they do not spin on the skewer." - R.R. in Florida

• To keep cheese blocks moist and mold-free, place a piece of napkin dampened with white vinegar in with the cheese in a container with a tight-fitting lid.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.