An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new
bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his
find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe
He decided to try to break the news to
a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him
to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of
ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog
responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did not sink but
instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird,
never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw
everything but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his
friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my
"I sure did," responded his
friend. "He cant swim."
"According to the Washington Post,
Vice President Dick Cheney is limping today because he
injured his foot. Cheney said If you think my foot
looks bad, you should see the old lady I was
kicking." -- Conan OBrien
"Fidel Castro is still in the
hospital with a serious medical condition. He still
thinks communism was a good idea until he was being
rushed to the hospital in a 55 Oldsmobile."
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Mrs. Dyer Says She Was
Mr. And Mrs. Mark Whinery, of Muscogee,
I. T., parents of Mrs. Pink Dyer, the woman who has been
asleep at the poor farm for two weeks past, started with
her today for the trip to Muscogee overland. They believe
she was drugged by her husband and state he gave a man
named Blurton and his wife $55 to dispose of her.
Mrs. Dyer roused up last evening more
completely than ever before and was able to tell
something of her history to Supt. Nall and County
Physician F. W. Flower. She stated her husband had forced
her to take some medicine a number of times and after the
last time she remembers nothing until she found herself
at the poor farm.
Mrs. Dyer is much better than she was
when brought to the poor farm and was able to sit up last
night. She seems to have lost the use of her neck and her
head falls forward as though her neck was broken.
by Pastoral Care of
Brooks Regional Hospital.
The Pastoral Care Department of
McCune Brooks Regional Hospital is offering a six
week tornado recovery support group for adult
persons affected by the May 22nd disaster. This
is a free service.
The department understands that
area residents have experienced death, losses of
residence, job, health, and faith as a result of
the storm. The program will provide an
opportunity for participants to openly share
their stories of the calamity; verbally or
written. The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W.
James and Russell Friedman will be available for
To best serve those in
attendance please call (417) 359-AMEN (2636). to
The group will meet six
Tuesdays. June 21, 28 & July 5, 12, 19, and
26 at 7-8:30 PM at the McCune Brooks Hospital,
3125 Dr. Russell Smith Way, Carthage, MO., in
Format: Open discussion
County Jail Count
218 June 14,
Including Placed out of County
NASCAR THIS WEEK
Let us consider the strange
case of Richard Childress and Kyle Busch.
Childress is the last vestige
-- full-time, anyway -- of old school in NASCAR
team ownership. He and Dale Earnhardt made a
perfect match. Childress interacted as easily
with Bud Moore and Junior Johnson as he now does
with Rick Hendrick and Roger Penske.
Childresss success is grounded in the way
that he manages to bridge the generations.
The younger Busch brother is
Thoroughly Modern Kyle. He is wondrously talented
and self-centered. Sometimes people insist on
comparing him to Earnhardt, which is akin to
comparing Tim Linecum to Bob Gibson. If Kyle
Busch is his generations Dale Earnhardt,
his generation has really changed.
Though I rather like both men,
they obviously do not care for each other.
I like Childress for the
qualities described above. This former racer, who
built his empire by hand, is about as adept as
dealing with the media as anyone Ive
encountered. He has an instinctive knack for
handling the various issues that confront his
I like Kyle Busch because he
isnt a phony. I may disagree with him. In
fact, at times, I may consider him a brat. But he
isnt afraid to be himself, and has the
strength of conviction not to worry unduly about
what others think. He adds spice to NASCAR. The
sport needs a bad boy. The NFL needs the Oakland
Raiders (and some even remember them).
As sensible as Childress is,
and as closely watched as Kyle Busch is, somehow
things went crazy after the Camping World Truck
Series race in Kansas. Buschs Toyota had
traded licks with a Childress Chevy, one driven
by Joey Coulter, and then Busch had roughed up
the kid a bit during the cool-down lap. Busch had
roughed up another Childress Chevy, the one
assigned to Buschs foil Kevin Harvick,
after a Sprint Cup race at Darlington.
The latter incident apparently
led the 65-year-old Childress to mutter, or
think, something along the lines of "enough
is enough," probably with at least one
epithet added. Apparently, the resulting incident
wasnt caught on tape, so it may be
something like the dime novels of the Old West.
Though what happened may be exaggerated, it can
reliably be reported that Childress, in some
form, attacked Busch.
Childress, being Childress,
apparently handled the situation that arose after
the situation -- that being his closed-door
meeting with NASCAR officials -- with
characteristic aplomb, having had time to
retrieve his right mind. He paid a fine, and they
put him on probation.
Long before handing down the
slap to Childresss wrist, NASCAR absolved
Busch of blame. On race morning at Kansas
Speedway, word spread that Buschs actions
"would not affect his probation."
How can this be so?
Busch was on probation for his
role in an incident in which he bumped another
car after the Darlington race. How could bumping
another, well, truck, after a Kansas race
"not affect his probation"?
Whod a thunk it? Ma
Bell (or rather one of her offspring) owes me
money. Somehow, durin the switch from
this long distance carrier to another, there
was a $4.72 extra paid in somewhere to
AT&T. For the last few months, Ive
been gettin statements showin
that I have a credit. Since Im not
usin there services (at least not this
week) they have no automatic mechanism to
settle the account.
Considerin the cost
of producin the report on the status of
my account and the postage, Ive gotta
figure at least fifty cents a month.
I appreciate the fact that
there is such good accountin goin
on and that Im gettin regular
updates. Im sure that this particular
situation is not the norm for the company.
Im just not sure its worth the
explainin its gonna take to get
me out of this situation.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
Metcalf Auto Supply
CLICK and CLACK
My terminally ill father has
just given me his 1961 Lincoln Continental. The
car is in a storage unit in Michigan, and
although it was mostly restored about eight or
nine years ago, it now needs some repairs to make
it roadworthy. Id like to fix it up and
give my father his final ride in it.
My problem is that Im
living overseas, and I need to find a mechanic I
can wire money to so that when its ready, I
can fly to Michigan, pick it up and drive right
out to the East Coast. Do you have any idea about
how to find a mechanic who can help me, who would
be reputable and who wouldnt take advantage
of an absentee customer? Annie
RAY: We were right there with
you until you mentioned the word
TOM: Actually, your ideal
candidate would be both reputable and have some
experience with ancient Continentals.
RAY: So start by calling
dentists offices near where the car is
stored. Ask if they treat any mechanics with few
to no teeth. Thats the age group
youre interested in, Annie.
TOM: Actually, we have a couple
of genuine ideas for you. One is to start with
the Lincoln and Continental Owners Club. You can
find it on the Web at www.lcoc.org. It has a
network of members who all love and restore old
Lincolns. If you post a request on its website,
it may be able to help you find someone near the
car who specializes in old Lincolns.
RAY: The second option would be
to search the Mechanics Files
(www.cartalk.com/mechanics). Thats a
database of mechanics who have been personally
recommended by readers of our column or listeners
to our radio show. You search it by entering your
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