| today's
laugh A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the
market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most
expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and stops at
a red light.
An old man on a Moped, looking about
100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks
over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of
car ya got there, sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari
GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That’s a lot of money,"
says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 250
miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I
take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the
doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the
window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped,
the old man says, "That’s a pretty nice car,
all right... but I’ll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the
doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can
do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer
reads 150 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear
view mirror - what it could be... and suddenly.
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!
Something whips by him going much
faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my
Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the
accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, he sees that
it’s the old man on the Moped!
Amazed that the Moped could pass his
Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210
mph.
WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He’s feeling pretty good until he
looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him
AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of his old guy,
he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way
up to 250 mph.
Not ten seconds later,he sees the Moped
bearing down on him again!
The Ferrari is flat out, and
there’s nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back
of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The doctor stops and jumps out and
,unbelievably , the old man is still alive. He runs up to
the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is there
anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my
suspenders from your side mirror."
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Course Of Popular
Lectures.
A course of popular lectures in church
history is to be given at the normal school this fall by
the members of the Carthage Ministerial Alliance. The
lectures will be purely educational in character, and
will cover the subject of church history from A. D. I. to
the end of the Reformation. Prof. Robinson has assigned
the subjects as follows: "The Conflict of Paganism
with Christianity," Dr. H. O. Scott; "The
Development of the Roman Papacy," Dr. Harris;
"The Relation of the Papacy to the Formation of
European States," Rev. Coontz; "The Holy Roman
Empire," Rector Blake; "The Reformation in
Germany," Dr. J. W. Stewart; "The Reformation
in England," Rev. A. J. Van Wagner; "The
Reformation in Scotland," Rev. Oldham; "The
Social and Political Results of the Reformation,"
Rev. J. H. Curry; "The Character of the Middle
Ages," Hon. R. L. Goode, Springfield. The lectures
will be free.
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Today's Feature McCune-Brooks
Regional Hospital Donates.
Summer school activities for
some students in the Joplin R-8 School District,
including football players, will be available
despite losses from the May 22 tornado, thanks in
part to a donation from McCune-Brooks Regional
Hospital in Carthage. Summer school began June 13
for the R-8 School District and that includes
weight training for football players.
Jeff Starkweather, CAA,
Athletic Director for the R-8 District, says the
donation of weights and several pieces of
conditioning equipment helps to replace some of
the items lost in the May 22 tornado.
Starkweather says, "These items will be used
immediately for our summer weight classes as well
as for our athletic teams. "
According to Bob Copeland,
Hospital CEO, "We recognize that the City of
Joplin needs much more than just assistance with
the immediate healthcare needs created from the
loss of the St. John’s building and wish for
the students and families in the area a speedy,
complete, and healthy recovery from the tornado
devastation."
Mike Lawrence, R-8 Strength and
Conditioning Coach, says the equipment is a
welcome gift to the students.
Jasper
County Jail Count
215 June 15,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Today begins the 20th year
of publication for the Mornin’ Mail.
For those of you that can
still remember the humble beginnin’s on
June 18, 1992 I apologize for bringin’
it to your attention. Most of us don’t
really relish the idea of bein’ reminded
of the fact that nineteen years have passed
so quickly.
For those who don’t
remember a time when the Mornin’ Mail
wasn’t on the street, you either
aren’t from these parts or you
haven’t graduated high school yet.
‘Course we also have
near on ta fifteen years of the paper
archived at our website www.morninmail.com
that we launched back in 1997. Figurin’
250 issues a year, it contains a fair amount
of recent Carthage History. We’re still
committed to makin’ the Mornin’
Mail pretty good for what there is of it,
plenty of it for what it is.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
artCentral
ART NOTES from
Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
I consider myself so lucky
every year to watch our artists bring in their
entries for the Annual Membership Show--- such an
assortment each time, and so many surprises! I am
not disappointed this year as 57 of our members
have entered one work, and it has been a joy
hanging and displaying each. We have mediums of
clay, stone and wood sculpture, silver jewelry,
fiber art and embroidery, multi media,
photography, color pencil, pastel, and
watercolor, oil and acrylic paintings. Certainly
something for everybody, and for every taste. I
was not sure of the response that we would have
from our Joplin artists, as several have lost
homes and studios, but they did not disappoint.
Two stories stand out. Angel Brame, pottery and
ceramic artist from Joplin, rode the tornado out
in her house, and upon emerging found her
husband’s car in what was left in their
dining room. She stored completed pottery in her
garage, and somehow a large bowl got loose from
its packing box, blew to the dining room, and was
found under the car perfectly intact. She has
titled it "Blown Away" and it is
displayed in our show. Rachel Wilson, who you
know as the found-wood sculptor of horses, lives
near Avilla going towards Golden City. After
picking up much debris from after the tornado on
her family’s farm, she has created an
artwork from these that is quite interesting and
moving. Using old plywood scraps and pieces of
shingles she has created a large tree standing in
a foreground of emptiness. Behind this is a large
horizontal board containing a collage of paper
remnants from the storm glued to create a
compelling background. She has titled it
"After" and is not sure what she thinks
should be done with it after the show, so those
that view it can give her their ideas. I think it
should surely go in a place where many can view
it. These two pieces will take much attention, so
come out on the 24th , just a week away, for our
exhibition’s opening night and outdoor
picnic here on the grounds of Hyde House, 1110 E.
13th beginning at 6:00. Rain or shine we will be
here to present these works and have a nice meal
together, and all are invited to attend!
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Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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