The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Friday, June 17, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 246

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The Carthage VFW Post #2590 will have their monthly Sunday Brunch on June 19. Biscuits& Gravy, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Fruit, Milk, and Juice, all you can eat - $5. 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Public invited.

today's laugh

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.

He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That’s a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That’s a pretty nice car, all right... but I’ll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror - what it could be... and suddenly.


Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.


He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph.

Not ten seconds later,he sees the Moped bearing down on him again!

The Ferrari is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and ,unbelievably , the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side mirror."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Course Of Popular Lectures.

A course of popular lectures in church history is to be given at the normal school this fall by the members of the Carthage Ministerial Alliance. The lectures will be purely educational in character, and will cover the subject of church history from A. D. I. to the end of the Reformation. Prof. Robinson has assigned the subjects as follows: "The Conflict of Paganism with Christianity," Dr. H. O. Scott; "The Development of the Roman Papacy," Dr. Harris; "The Relation of the Papacy to the Formation of European States," Rev. Coontz; "The Holy Roman Empire," Rector Blake; "The Reformation in Germany," Dr. J. W. Stewart; "The Reformation in England," Rev. A. J. Van Wagner; "The Reformation in Scotland," Rev. Oldham; "The Social and Political Results of the Reformation," Rev. J. H. Curry; "The Character of the Middle Ages," Hon. R. L. Goode, Springfield. The lectures will be free.

  Today's Feature

McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital Donates.

Summer school activities for some students in the Joplin R-8 School District, including football players, will be available despite losses from the May 22 tornado, thanks in part to a donation from McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital in Carthage. Summer school began June 13 for the R-8 School District and that includes weight training for football players.

Jeff Starkweather, CAA, Athletic Director for the R-8 District, says the donation of weights and several pieces of conditioning equipment helps to replace some of the items lost in the May 22 tornado. Starkweather says, "These items will be used immediately for our summer weight classes as well as for our athletic teams. "

According to Bob Copeland, Hospital CEO, "We recognize that the City of Joplin needs much more than just assistance with the immediate healthcare needs created from the loss of the St. John’s building and wish for the students and families in the area a speedy, complete, and healthy recovery from the tornado devastation."

Mike Lawrence, R-8 Strength and Conditioning Coach, says the equipment is a welcome gift to the students.

Jasper County Jail Count

215 June 15, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'

Today begins the 20th year of publication for the Mornin’ Mail.

For those of you that can still remember the humble beginnin’s on June 18, 1992 I apologize for bringin’ it to your attention. Most of us don’t really relish the idea of bein’ reminded of the fact that nineteen years have passed so quickly.

For those who don’t remember a time when the Mornin’ Mail wasn’t on the street, you either aren’t from these parts or you haven’t graduated high school yet.

‘Course we also have near on ta fifteen years of the paper archived at our website that we launched back in 1997. Figurin’ 250 issues a year, it contains a fair amount of recent Carthage History. We’re still committed to makin’ the Mornin’ Mail pretty good for what there is of it, plenty of it for what it is.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


ART NOTES from Hyde House

by Sally Armstrong, Director of artCentral

I consider myself so lucky every year to watch our artists bring in their entries for the Annual Membership Show--- such an assortment each time, and so many surprises! I am not disappointed this year as 57 of our members have entered one work, and it has been a joy hanging and displaying each. We have mediums of clay, stone and wood sculpture, silver jewelry, fiber art and embroidery, multi media, photography, color pencil, pastel, and watercolor, oil and acrylic paintings. Certainly something for everybody, and for every taste. I was not sure of the response that we would have from our Joplin artists, as several have lost homes and studios, but they did not disappoint. Two stories stand out. Angel Brame, pottery and ceramic artist from Joplin, rode the tornado out in her house, and upon emerging found her husband’s car in what was left in their dining room. She stored completed pottery in her garage, and somehow a large bowl got loose from its packing box, blew to the dining room, and was found under the car perfectly intact. She has titled it "Blown Away" and it is displayed in our show. Rachel Wilson, who you know as the found-wood sculptor of horses, lives near Avilla going towards Golden City. After picking up much debris from after the tornado on her family’s farm, she has created an artwork from these that is quite interesting and moving. Using old plywood scraps and pieces of shingles she has created a large tree standing in a foreground of emptiness. Behind this is a large horizontal board containing a collage of paper remnants from the storm glued to create a compelling background. She has titled it "After" and is not sure what she thinks should be done with it after the show, so those that view it can give her their ideas. I think it should surely go in a place where many can view it. These two pieces will take much attention, so come out on the 24th , just a week away, for our exhibition’s opening night and outdoor picnic here on the grounds of Hyde House, 1110 E. 13th beginning at 6:00. Rain or shine we will be here to present these works and have a nice meal together, and all are invited to attend!

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.