| today's
laugh A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing
confessions and asks an older priest to observe one of
his sessions to give him some tips. After a few minutes
of listening, the old priest suggests that they have a
word.
I’ve got a few suggestions, he
says. Try folding your arms over your chest and rub your
chin with one hand. The new priest tries this. Very good,
says his senior. Now try saying things like ‘I
see’, ‘I understand’ and ‘Yes, go
on.’
The younger priest practices these
sayings, too. Well done, says the older priest.
Don’t you think that’s better than slapping
your knee and saying: No way! What happened next?
Q: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep
instead of just six?
A: Because deep down they really are
good people.
A grandmother giving directions to her
grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the
apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big
panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I
will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the
right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get
out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my
doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but
why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow"?
"You’re coming empty
handed"?
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Narrow Escape.
Dave Ramsey, a miner at the Dickey
mines on the Chatham lease at Carterville was caught in a
small drift in a cave-in this morning. He was covered
with dirt up to his shoulders and was reported killed but
was finally rescued. He was only slightly bruised and
scratched.
The Frisco has a large force of men at
work putting in a new turn table where the old one stood
and they expect to complete the work by tonight. The
engine will be turned around here for each return trip as
soon as the turn table is finished.
W. E. Carlson, who has been visiting
relatives and friends here for the past two weeks, leaves
tonight for Gainesville, Tex., where he has been for the
past four years working for G. C. & S. F. Railway Co.
After a few days in Gainesville, he will go to Galveston
to work for the same company.
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Today's Feature Commission Hears
Report on Recovery.
The Jasper County Commission
heard a report from county Emergency Management
Director Keith Stammer during Tuesday’s
regular meeting in the Carthage Courthouse.
Stammer praised the efforts of
Southwest Missouri emergency and law enforcement
personnel and agencies. He said over three
hundred agencies responded to the tornado
destruction in Joplin after the May 22 storm.
He also said that the state
Emergency Management department worked well with
the county department in the recovery effort as
well as FEMA.
Presiding Commissioner John
Bartosh said he and other officials went to
Washing, D.C. last week to try and extend the
August 7 deadline for federal assistance in the
clean-up effort. He felt the limit would be
extended.
Bartosh also said there have
been inquiries concerning FEMA financial help in
installing storm shelters. Bartosh said at this
time there is no such program. The Commission is
keeping a list and is investigating other
options.
Jasper
County Jail Count
211 June 21,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
A few details of
today’s front page story that I found
interestin’. Director Stammer told the
Commission that only one per cent of
tornadoes are a catagory 4. From analysis of
the aftermath, the speed of the storm (not
the wind speed generated) got down to 10 or
15 miles an hour at times. Not the typical 35
miles an hour expected. The storm just kinda
squatted down for a period of time,
grindin’ away.
Commissioner Bartosh said
he watched the video captured inside the high
school and it took over 6 minutes for the
storm to pass that location.
Accordin to Stammer, the
storm has attracted nation wide attention for
those who study the effects of tornadoes.
They reported 7,000 homes
lost. Joplin has imposed a 60 day moratorium
on new housing construction.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Column
HERE’S A TIP
By
JoAnn Derson
• Use a measuring cup when
adding detergent to the washer. You’ll avoid
using too much detergent, which can get costly.
You’ll also avoid having residual soap left
in the fabric.
• If you have air
conditioning, use a programmable thermostat. You
can set it to a higher temperature overnight,
when it’s naturally cooler, and have it cool
down the house right about the time you’ll
get home, so there’s no wasted energy
cooling a house with no one in it.
• "When putting
woody-stemmed flowers, such as roses, in a vase,
cut the stem diagonally and whack with a small
mallet. It will absorb water much better this
way." -- A.R. in Mississippi
• Save small milk cartons
and wash well. Fill with water and freeze. You
can use these in your picnic basket for an easy
cold pack to keep foods chilled.
• Too many suds in the
sink? Try sprinkling them with salt. The foam
will settle down quickly!
• "Shower rings (the
hooks that hold your shower curtain to the
curtain bar) can be used for lots of things. I
keep one in my sewing basket to hold safety pins.
It’s terrific, and the pins are orderly and
easy to find." -- E.L. in Utah
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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