The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, June23, 2011 Volume XX, Number 4

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes Monday, June 27 through Friday July 1. Areas will be sprayed in the evening of the day of area garbage pickup between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight. Residents are asked to turn off attic or window fans when the sprayer is in their area.

today's laugh

The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don’t be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls, "Can’t you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?"

"No, officer. Only when he’s been drinking"


1911


INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

A Narrow Escape.

Dave Ramsey, a miner at the Dickey mines on the Chatham lease at Carterville was caught in a small drift in a cave-in this morning. He was covered with dirt up to his shoulders and was reported killed but was finally rescued. He was only slightly bruised and scratched.

The Frisco has a large force of men at work putting in a new turn table where the old one stood and they expect to complete the work by tonight. The engine will be turned around here for each return trip as soon as the turn table is finished.

W. E. Carlson, who has been visiting relatives and friends here for the past two weeks, leaves tonight for Gainesville, Tex., where he has been for the past four years working for G. C. & S. F. Railway Co. After a few days in Gainesville, he will go to Galveston to work for the same company.

  Today's Feature

‘Joplin Tomorrow’ Recovery Fund.

PoliticMo -With half a million dollars left over from the Danforth Foundation, former U.S. Senator John Danforth is aiding in the start of a new foundation, this time to benefit Joplin in its recovery from last month’s devastating EF-5 tornado.

Danforth, a five person board, and Sen. Roy Blunt announced the "Joplin Tomorrow Foundation" at a news conference at the Joplin Chamber of Commerce Monday. The foundation is being set up to provide low and no-interest loans to businesses recovering and reinvesting in Joplin. The goal of the foundation, leaders say, is not only to rebuild Joplin’s businesses, but to encourage businesses to expand and relocate.

"We’re interested in Joplin today," Blunt said of his trip Monday, which took him to the temporary Home Depot facility and the two hospitals, "but we’re also interested in Joplin tomorrow."

"People are looking to the future," Danforth said. "What can we do in the future to make this community stronger and better than ever?"

Danforth said his role in the foundation will be to lead fundraising efforts in other parts of the state in an effort to help the business community help businesses recover from the tragedy. More than 400 businesses were damaged or destroyed following last month’s tornado. Danforth, and other officials, stressed that their effort will attempt to go beyond the work federal agencies like the Small Business Administration are already doing.

"There’s only so much the government can do," Blunt said. "My principle effort has been to be sure the expenses that governments have been incurring for clean up and overtime of employees, that we’re coming in and seeing federal tax payers help local tax payers," Blunt said.


Jasper County Jail Count

214 June 21, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County


 

NASCAR THIS WEEK

By Monte Dutton

Kurt Busch Closing on Points Leader

For Kurt Busch, the 2011 season has been a process of ebb and flow ... and ebb again. Or vice-versa.

The 32-year-old Busch, the elder of racing brothers, began the season unofficially with a victory in the Budweiser Shootout, followed by finishes of fifth, eighth, ninth and seventh in the Sprint Cup season’s first four "point races." Then he went into a slump, with finishes of 17th, 16th, 10th, 18th, 22nd, 27th and 14th.

After the season’s first four races, Busch stood at the top of the point standings. Seven races later, he had fallen to eighth. But since then, the graph has turned upward again. Busch has finished fourth, ninth and second in the three most-recent races, lifting him back up to sixth in the standings, only 35 points behind leader Carl Edwards.

Busch’s disgruntlement was obvious during the rough spots. Changes were made in management at Penske Racing, at least partly in response to Busch’s complaints, many of which were heard by fans over scanners during races.

Now, once again, Kurt Busch is a picture of contentment, with results to back it up.

Edwards ran into engine trouble at Michigan, almost erasing what had been a comfortable edge in points. Busch’s runner-up finish at Pocono Raceway was one ahead of younger brother Kyle.

"When the point leader has problems, everybody’s just chomping at the bit, licking their lips, going, ‘Wow, look at this, I’m right back in this.’ When you’re having good runs like we are, my little brother and me, just plugging away, that helps you feel more solid when you get to the month of August, after you get through the Brickyard, making that summer run to the Chase," said Kurt.

Given recent performances, "that summer run to the Chase" seems promising for both Busch brothers.

Kurt Busch won the Cup championship in 2004, the first year the Chase format was implemented. At the time, he drove a Ford for Jack Roush. Now he drives one of two Dodges fielded by Roger Penske.

"Right now it’s all about consistency," said Kurt. "I’d like to break through and get a win just to help us feel more confident in our Chase position.

"When the point leader has trouble, everybody benefits from that."


Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

As a kid there was always the story of some sort of water torture used by the "enemy."

The method was to tie a person so water dripped from a container steadily dropped on the head of the prisoner.

This was never tried in my neighborhood that I was aware of, it would just be mentioned on occasion.

I have no idea if such methods were ever actually incorporated in times of war, but everyone seemed to be able to imagine the agony that would have been involved in the seemingly painless ritual.

Mental torture was believed to be the worst kind imaginable in our peaceful surroundin’s.

‘Course all that mental stuff went out the window while recoupin’ from a good stubbed toe bein’ black and blue.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.


Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column

CLICK and CLACK

TALK CARS

Something my wife does drives me crazy, and I want to get your support before pointing it out to her. Our driveway is approximately 60 feet long and uphill. It’s fairly steep for three-quarters of the run, then it flattens out at the top. My wife insists on backing up the driveway to park so she can go forward down the driveway in the morning. I think that backing up is harder on the transmission than driving up forward. Currently, we are experiencing signs of transmission issues on our 2004 Volvo XC90 T6, which I’ve found are common with this particular car. But could my wife be exacerbating the issue or causing it directly by backing up the driveway every evening? . -- Jackson

TOM: I’m glad you wrote to us, Jackson. That way, we can stop you from humiliating yourself in front of your wife.

RAY: And instead allow you to humiliate yourself in front of the whole country.

TOM: It’s unlikely that your wife had anything to do with your transmission problem -- unless she’s backing up 60 miles a day instead of 60 feet.

RAY: In which case, she’d have a transmission problem and a stiff neck.

RAY: We know Volvo has had trouble with the XC90 T6 transmission from your year, and I’m guessing it’s because the transmission can’t handle the torque that this turbocharged engine puts out.

TOM: So you should see if your Volvo dealer will take pity on you and help you fix this, Jackson. That’s definitely the person to discuss this with, rather than your wife. Right now you’ve got a transmission problem. If you blame it on your wife, you’ll have a transmission problem and a marital problem.

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.