| today's
laugh from SAT tests
given in in 2000 to 16-year-old students!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by
which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink
because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on
the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you
age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels
and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he
reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and
looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body
categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)A:
The body is consisted into three parts
-- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The
brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart
and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term
"Caesarian Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district
in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: What does the word
"benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you
be eight.
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
The Canning Factory.
The Carthage canning factory is not in
operation this summer, but may be opened this fall to can
peaches and apples. J. H. Magee, one of the proprietors
of the establishment says the factory is not operating
because of uncertain business conditions last winter that
did not justify putting out seeds to farmers who contract
with us. "We expect to put out seeds again this
winter," said Mr. Magee, "and will be running
as usual next summer." Mr. Magee said, "to run
the factory right we ought to have no less than 500 acres
of ground cultivated for us. Farmers have usually found
it very profitable to grow vegetables for us. Tomatoes,
one of the chief vegetables we can, yields an average of
150 to 200 bushels to the acre. We usually pay about
twenty cents per bushel for tomatoes at our factory
door." The factory is a creditable institution for
the City and gives employment to a number of hands,
mostly women and children.
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Today's Feature Carthage Group
Considers
Purchase of
the Boots Motel.
Carthage Historic Preservation
has formed a group of interested individuals and
board members in order to investigate options to
purchase, restore and operate the Boots Motel
located on historic Route 66. Members watched as
the Boots Motel went on the auction block under
foreclosure on the Jasper County Courthouse steps
on Wednesday. The property sold for $105,000.
Hometown Bank placed the sole bid.
The Boots Motel committee
continues to review funding options while opening
negotiations with the buyer. "Our main focus
is to preserve a piece of not only Carthage
history but also a cherished American icon,"
says Mark Elliff committee chair.
Recently, the Boots Motel was
placed on the Society for Commercial
Archeology’s list of 10 Most Endangered
Roadside Places. The Boots Motel was built in
1939 and is treasured by Route 66 enthusiasts.
. "The Boots Motel is a
next step in Carthage Historic
Preservation’s efforts," says Carolyn
Phelps, CHP Board President. "This is an
exciting opportunity to fulfill CHP’s
mission."
Jasper
County Jail Count
219 June 23,
2011
Total
Including Placed out of County
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 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I like eggs cooked over
medium. All that really means is that it is
all cooked. Seems there are more definitions
of what constitutes a cooked egg than there
are fry cooks.
What seems amazin’ is
the fact that they all got together and
figured out ‘xactly what each definition
means.
Over easy used ta be how
I’d order eggs. All the sudden that
meant the white wasn’t quite cooked.
Over medium get that accomplished. The yoke
sometimes gets a little over done, but
that’s a small sacrifice.
I’d have ta guess that
anyone who’s successful in the political
arena is good at crackin’ eggs so the
yoke doesn’t break. Maybe that
somethin’ they should teach at
politicians school. Even when ya want
scrambled eggs, ya want to start out with a
good unbroken yoke.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Carthage Printing |
Weekly
Column
artCentral
ART NOTES from
Hyde House
by Sally Armstrong,
Director of artCentral
Rain or shine! We will be
hosting the Annual Membership Show at the Hyde
House Friday night with our picnic outside and
the art show inside, even if it rains! I think we
will all be so happy to see rain that we will
happily eat in it, but I do have the tents
pitched outside for the faint of heart. We look
forward to a good crowd that evening to
participate in the food and fun, artCentral
contributing the service, drinks, meat, beans,
potatoes and eggs. Members are asked to bring a
salad or dessert, and visitors and guests are
just that--- "guests"! I am asking the
adults to contribute $5.00 this year for their
meals, something we have not done in the past,
but like everywhere you go, things are more
expensive and our budget is tighter this year I
am afraid. Children under 12 will eat free. Come
out and see who won t he awards this
year—our juror, Laura Greene from the
Uncommon Gallery and Hotel in Columbus, Kansas
came this week and was most impressed with the
variety and quality of the work. She has made her
selections of three winners, and Beth Simmons of
McCune-Brooks Regional Hospital, will be coming
later to choose the Underwriter’s Award
winner. We thank McCune-Brooks for underwriting
this exhibition once again this year, a tradition
started several years ago.
Last year there were 60 artists
presenting, and I was a bit afraid we might not
see our member artists from Joplin this year, but
they came and we have 59 total participating,
which is wonderful! Also, we will be honoring our
longtime board president Don Knost, who is
retiring from board service after 20 plus years
of being active on this board and with
artCentral. We thank him for his service and will
recognize him Friday night for his service to
both artCentral and the community at large, as
his is a long a active membership in our
organization. So I hope to see you Friday night
at 6:00 for a nice time together, and we will
continue the show on Saturday from noon to 5:00.
This show will remain in the galleries through
July 10th, and we will add some longer hours and
days before the holiday, so call before you come
to see if we might be open extra days.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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