A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The
priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber
refused, saying, you do Gods work. The
next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door
to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a
haircut, and again the barber refused pay, saying,
you protect the public. The next morning the
barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a
haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying,
you serve the justice system. The next
morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a
"Remember when the most
embarrassing thing to happen to a vice-president was
misspelling the word potato?" -- Jimmy Kimmel
"If the shoe fits, buy it." -
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A Hole Made in the
Wall Through Which Prisoners Escaped.
This mornings Joplin Globe says:
"Last night about 11 oclock the prisoners in
the Joplin jail crawled out through a hole that two of
them made in the rear of the jail near the door. Four of
them went in search of the officers as soon as they got
out to notify them of what had happened. When they found
the officers they were told to go and crawl into jail
again by the same route they got out. They did so and the
police looked for Jim Marrs and Patsey Hogan, the men who
had dug the hole through the wall. They were not found.
Their getting away is no great loss,
but it is a sad commentary on the jail walls that
prisoners can go through them so readily. A nozzle from a
garden hose, used in scrubbing the jail, was the
instrument employed in digging through the walls.
From the Minutes
- Public Safety.
Wendi Douglas of the Convention
and Visitors Bureau was present to discuss 3
-held on Wednesday and Saturday morning through
October; there has been issues with parking and
the farmers having to wait to set up due to
people parking in the area of the NW inside lane
ofthe square. Wendi asked permission to have that
area blocked off from 6:00 am through 2:00 pm on
Wednesdays and Saturdays to allow set up of the
Mr. Swatsenbarg made a motion
to allow the inside NW lane of the square to be
closed Wednesdays and Saturdays from 6:00 am to
2:00 pm from now until October for set up of the
Farmers Market. All were in favor, motion
carried and to be forwarded to Full Council.
British Motor Car Club -as in
years past have requested the square be closed in
conjunction with the City Sidewalk Sale.
Barricades will be set up after 3:00 pm on July
22nd, which the police department would supply.
Ms. Douglas asked this year, in order to provide
more room for the event, that Main Street also be
closed to 5th Street. The event will take place
on Saturday, July 23rd
Mr. Rife made a motion to allow
the square to be closed for the British Car Club
and City Sidewalk Sale and recommending closing
Main Street to sth Street also, such request to
be forwarded to Full Council for approval. All
were in favor, motion passed.
In continuing with the
Sesquicentennial Celebration the Wilsons
Battle Creek Members ofthe National Parks Service
would like to have a reenactment and weapons
display on July 9th at Central Park. Wendi was
present to request that the ordinance of
discharging weapons within the City be waived to
allow this reenactment and weapons display.
After a short discussion
Chairman Rifeso moved to be forwarded on to full
council for their approval. All in favor, motion
County Jail Count
217 June 27,
Including Placed out of County
A farmer I worked for as a
kid always said he could tell it was gonna
rain cause hed start seein
turtles up on the road. Said he didnt
know why they did it. Thought they must be
lookin for higher ground rather than
get flooded in the ditch.
Now I never made a study of
turtle movement so I dont have any idea
if this higher ground theory stands up. At
the time I was told this bit of wisdom, I had
no reason, nor stature to question it.
I did, learn early the art
of pickin up a small land tortoise that
occasioned our yard. I often wondered if the
plentiful stream of water that came from the
tail end was caused by a reflex of defense or
fear. It was certainly an effective way to
keep young boys from gettin too
aggressive with the critters.
Ive never had the
urge to try turtle soup.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
To Your Good
By Paul G. Donohue,
Getting a Handle on Heartburn
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: After an
endoscopy, the doctor told me I have a hiatal
hernia. He said nothing could be done for it and
that I will have to live with it the rest of my
life. He gave me no medicines or advice. I am
anxious about this and would appreciate any info
you can give me. -- Anon.
ANSWER: The swallowing tube --
the esophagus -- begins at the throat, travels
down the chest and finally ends by attaching to
the stomach. To reach the stomach, it must go
through an opening in the diaphragm, the muscle
that separates the chest from the abdominal
cavity. That opening is the hiatus. A hiatal
hernia is a bulging of part of the stomach
through the hiatus and into the chest cavity.
Many times, a hiatal hernia causes no symptoms
and needs no treatment.
At other times, a hiatal hernia
produces GERD -- gastroesophageal reflux -- an
upward spurting of acid and digestive juices from
the stomach into the esophagus. That brings on
heartburn, a common problem with many treatments.
People without such a hernia also develop GERD.
Here are some tips to handle
heartburn. Lose weight, if need be. Dont
eat within three hours of going to bed. Elevate
the head of your bed using blocks that are 6 to 8
inches tall and placed under the bedposts. This
keeps stomach juices in the stomach while you
sleep. Sleep on your left side for the same
reason. Dont wear constricting garments
around the abdomen or too tight a belt. Take
antacids as needed -- Tums, Rolaids, Mylanta and
Maalox. Eliminate any food that gives you
heartburn. Usual offenders are citrus fruits,
tomatoes, onions, spicy foods, fatty and fried
foods, chocolate, carbonated beverages, mints and
If these steps dont solve
the heartburn problem, try medicines called acid
blockers: Tagamet (cimetidine), Zantac
(ranitidine), Pepcid (famotidine) and Axid
(nizatidine). In low doses, all of these can be
purchased without a prescription.
The next step is medicines that
turn off acid production. Prilosec (omeprazole)
doesnt require a prescription. The
prescription drugs are Prevacid, Nexium, Aciphex,
Protonix and Dexilant.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.