The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, June 29, 2011 Volume XX, Number 8

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?..The City of Carthage will be spraying for mosquitoes Monday, June 27 through Friday July 1. Areas will be sprayed in the evening of the day of area garbage pickup between the hours of 8 p.m. and midnight. Residents are asked to turn off attic or window fans when the sprayer is in their area.

today's laugh

Two fellers were in desperate need of cash, but admittedly were a bit cowardly. So the one suggested they break into the Amish market. The logic being that since the Amish were nonresistant, even if they were caught, no harm could befall them. Thus they carried out their plot.

However, just as they were breaking into the cash register, the owner turned on the lights and confronted them, a shotgun pointed directly at them. Calmly, the Amishman said, Boys, I would never do thee any harm yet you are standing where I am about to shoot.


Red Neck Stew

The US Department of the Interior had to change the wording on the metal bands they used to tag migratory birds. Seems these bands used to have the address of the Washington Biological Survey abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv." One day they received a letter from a hunter in Alabama:

Dear Sirs:

Last week I shot one of your birds. It might have been a crow. I followed the cooking directions on the leg tag. Let me tell you, It was AWFUL!

The bands are now marked "Fish and Wildlife Service."


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.


"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney." -- David Letterman


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

$100 Reward, $100.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all its stages and that is Catarrh. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional disease requires a constitutional treatment. Hall’s catarrh cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing its work.

Bits of Information.

Germany now has electric lights in over 1,000 postal cars, and Austria is about to adopt the same system.

Oranges have been grown in Lyons, Kan., the owner of a tree having plucked three.

  Today's Feature

Activities Planned for Maple Leaf Festival

The 45th annual Maple Leaf Festival planning committee announced several new events, activities and features planned for the this year’s festival. Brochures will be available in mid-July they can be picked up at the Carthage Chamber of Commerce or various Carthage locations for a full list of the week’s schedule including the following additions.

The all new Maple Market will be located at 6th and Main and will feature up to 20 commercial vendors offering a wide range of products. The all new Kid’s Corner will be located on the northeast corner of the square (3rd and Grant) and will have multiple fun and engaging crafts and activities for the kids. Both Maple Market and Kid’s Corner will be open from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday, October 15th.

The Maple Leaf circus will be Sunday, October 16th. Location and time for the circus to be announced.

The second installment of the Carthage Historic Art Walk will be going on around the square. Date night will be Friday night, October 14th from 6:00-8:30 p.m. and it’s family day Saturday, October 15th from 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Jasper County Jail Count

219 June 28, 2011

Total Including Placed out of County

Just Jake Talkin'


There’s prob’ly lots a things I never mastered as well as my dad, but I know I could never get the hang of spinnin’ a four-way lug wrench while changin’ a tire. ‘Course I suppose that could mean that I never got the practice changin’ tires that he did.

One a the problems with changin’ a flat on the newer cars is they don’t have a decent hubcap ta throw the lug nuts in. You’ve prob’ly seen the guy bent down by the car, with one a those little flimsy L shaped tire tools in one hand and a lug nut in the other, lookin’ completely bewildered. He’s lookin’ for a spot to lay the nut so he won’t loose it.

The real embarrassment comes when ya gotta limp inta town with that little weenie tire. There’s just no joy in changin’ a flat anymore.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Column


By JoAnn Derson

• Glassware will sparkle if you add a capful of bleach to the rinse water when hand-washing dishes.

• "Berries are in season, and I use berry baskets for lots of little storage needs. My favorite one is to hold my sponges at the sink area. A basket will keep small brushes corralled as well." -- I.R. in Florida

• "We had an impromptu princess/magical fairy tea party at our house yesterday, and we came up with the best on-the-spot magic wands. We cut big stars out of paperboard (like a cereal box) and decorated them with stickers, construction paper and glitter, then we threaded them on long kebab sticks. I snipped the pointy end and covered it with colorful tape. Presto, party wand!" -- E.D. in Maine

• To keep salt from coming out of a saltshaker too quickly, add some plain uncooked white rice to the shaker. The large grains will block some of the holes, causing less salt to come out with each shake. The rice also will absorb moisture and keep the salt from clumping.

• "When I take my dog to ‘Grandma’ for dog-sitting, I measure out each meal into a plastic zipper-top bag. This way, Mom doesn’t have to remember how much to feed at each mealtime, and it makes it easy to serve." -- V.Y. in Texas

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.