| today's
laugh The manager of a large office noticed a new man
one day and told him to come into his office. "What
is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked
the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I
don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you
worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by his
first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a
breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their
last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that’s all. I
am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we
got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said,
"Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want
to tell you is..."
Two strands of DNA - One says to the
other, "Do these genes make me look fat?
1911
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
BOY STRUCK BY RUNAWAY
HORSE.
Will Return to Live
in Missouri.
Mrs. Walter Stapleton is in the city as
the guest of Mrs. C. J. Harrison and family. Mrs.
Stapleton describes the fire which destroyed her
husband’s store and their household goods at their
home in Arkansas as very disastrous to them. Mr.
Stapleton is closing out his business there and they will
make their home on a farm in Barton county.
Wedded at the
Court House.
License was issued this morning for the
marriage of Jacob Clippinger, twenty-six years of age and
Maggie A. Sipp, thirty-six, both of Carthage. The couple
at once went to Attorney Mooneyham’s office in the
courthouse and were wedded, Justice McCune officiating.
The bride was but a few weeks ago
divorced from a husband some ten or twenty years her
senior, R. A. Mooneyham acted as her attorney.
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Today's Feature Koster Sues
Lebanon for Sunshine Law Violations.
Attorney General Chris Koster
said he has filed suit against the city of
Lebanon for violating Missouri’s open
records laws, commonly called "Sunshine
Laws." Also named in the suit are Henry
Luxem, city administrator; Constant P.
"CP" Craig, mayor; and Joseph Brauer,
chief of police.
Koster said in December 2010,
Brauer sent an email to some employees of the
police department informing them that the city
council had reversed a police board decision to
discipline an employee and indicating his
disagreement with that decision. A few days
later, an open records request was made seeking
the email and related documents. The city of
Lebanon denied the sunshine request, stating that
the email was not a public record. In January
2011, the Attorney General’s Office sent
Luxem a letter stating that emails sent on,
received by, and retained on the city’s
computers are public records and that the
requested email must be disclosed under the
Sunshine Law. The city continues to maintain the
email is not a public record.
Koster said other concerns
include problems maintaining proper police
incident reports and releasing arrest reports
when they are open records.
"Missouri’s Sunshine
Law is crystal clear that both state and local
governments must be open to the people,"
Koster said. "Governmental bodies cannot
make arbitrary rules to keep our citizens out of
the process."
Koster is asking the court to
issue an injunction prohibiting the defendants
from further violating the Sunshine Law, assess
civil penalties up to $5,000 against each
defendant, and require the defendants to pay
court costs.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I saw somethin’ the
other day that really ticked me off. Then I
forgot what it was. Unfortunately, not
knowin’ why I was ticked off didn’t
alter the fact that I was ticked.
After a while, I started
gettin’ ticked that I couldn’t
remember why I was ticked in the first place.
The resulting double tick stacked up to the
point that I think I started lookin’ for
thick facts that might depict me bein’
ticked. At that point I decided it just
wasn’t worth the effort and became
deticked.
Most would have to agree
that the natural unticked state is a more
wholesome place ta be. The fact bein’
that I usually don’t have ta go
lookin’ for any particular ticker to
tackle. I suppose a good measure for the
level of displeasure would be a ticker tape,
but that is usually reserved for parades.
If ya need an excuse ta be
ticked, you can use this column.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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Weekly
Columns
To Your Good
Health
By Paul G. Donohue,
M.D.
The Main Causes of
Constipation
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: What brings
on severe constipation? My movements are six to
eight days apart. The doctor says milk of
magnesia is no good. I am 85. Any help? -- C.Y.
ANSWER: A diet too low in
fiber, not drinking enough fluids and lack of
physical activity are the main ingredients for
constipation. Sometimes, prescribed medicines are
at fault.
Fiber is the indigestible part
of foods. It holds on to water as food passes
through the intestinal tract, and keeps the food
residue moist and soft. Fruits, vegetables and
whole grains are fiber sources. "Whole
grains" mean the grains haven’t been
refined. They still have their outer coat, the
bran. You can find many whole-grain breads and
cereals. One cereal is All-Bran. It’s not
the only one. If you can’t get enough fiber
in foods, then turn to such things as Metamucil,
FiberCon or Citrucel. You’ll find them in
every drugstore.
Older people often drink less
fluid than they need. Their thirst sensation
isn’t as strong as it once was. Make sure
you’re taking in enough liquids. Water
isn’t the only liquid that keeps you
hydrated.
After breakfast, take a walk.
Physical activity stimulates the digestive tract
to move food through it more quickly. That also
keeps undigested food moist and soft. Take more
walks throughout the day.
Doctors used to be quite
reluctant to suggest laxatives to their patients.
They were afraid that patients would get into the
"laxative habit" or that the colon
would become dependent on laxatives. Neither of
these things happens. No single laxative works
for all. You have to find one that suits you. I
don’t know why your doctor is down on milk
of magnesia. It works for many. If it’s not
working for you, try Miralax. Follow its
directions for use. Once you have established a
regular pattern to your movements, you can back
away from laxatives so you’re not headed in
the direction of too many evacuations. Stay on
the regimen of fiber, fluids and activity.
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Publishing. All rights reserved.
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