The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, March 16, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 184

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Humane Society is asking for donations of canned & dry dog food and old newspapers due to an unusual amount of puppies coming into the shelter. Call 358-6402

Did Ya Know?...Magic Moments Riding Therapy is currently in need of assistance for Saturday morning classes. Volunteers should be at least 14, have some horse experience. 325-4490

today's laugh

This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" "Uh, huh, yes, that’s very nice." Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?" "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It’s right here!" "Uh-huh." The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in back there?" And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here — see?!" The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Granada. He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Granada are all fogged up and he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Granada. The man in the Granada finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What’s up?" "Check this out — I got a double bed installed in my Rolls." And the man in the Granada says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?!"


There are more important things than money, but they won’t date you if you don’t have any


Three men walked in to a bar. You think one of them would have seen it!


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.


Branch of the Educational Extension Library at Edel’s Drug Store.

Carthage is to have a branch of the Educational Extension Library of Chicago. Frank Edel is to act as librarian, and the books are to be at his drug store, where members can procure them at any time.

This library will cover a wide scope of literature—such as history, biography, science, etc., by standard authors. This is especially true of fiction, as all publications of this class are of the latest and best.

The plan upon which this library is established is the sale of membership at $3, good for two years, but all persons procuring membership within one week can secure the same for $1. After that date the regular rate will obtain.

  Today's Feature

From the Minutes: CW&EP Board Meet.



"General Manager Williams noted that the Missouri Public Utility Alliance has requested municipals to join legislative efforts to encourage nuclear power specifically as a second unit at the Callaway nuclear facility is being considered. General Manager Williams noted that tremendous strides have been made in the nuclear industry and it appears to be the best option in alternatives to coal for meeting load requirements at an economically feasible cost.

"A motion by Ross and seconded by Schmidt to adopt a Resolution of Support for Early Site Permit for Nuclear Power passed unanimously.

"General Manager Williams reported that the recent major snow storm caused minimal issues for the system on the water side and no issues on the electric side.

"Renovations at the Centennial Complex are going well with a target completion date of late fall."

Just Jake Talkin'

So this mouse was runnin’ along a muddy country dirt road one day and slipped into a rut in the road. A rabbit friend came hoppin’ by and the mouse pleaded for the rabbit to help pull him out of the rut.

The rabbit thinks the mouse needs to show a little initiative and get out on his own and hops on down the road to town.

A little later the rabbit was in the dinner eatin’ a head a lettuce and sees the mouse comin’ along the edge of the road.

The rabbit steps out side and hollers, "Though ya couldn’t get out of the rut."

"Had to," replied the mouse, "a car was comin’."

I suppose most follow a narrow path, sometimes it’s a good idea to poke your head up, just in case a Mack truck decides to follow your lead.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By JoAnn Derson

• Check your local newspaper or city/county government for programs that provide free or near-free water barrels. Many areas have a program, and they really do help keep your water costs down if you have flowers or vegetable gardens.

• To keep the edges of lettuce from browning, tear it or use a plastic knife sold just for this purpose. Metal will make the edges brown.

• "If you want same-size cookies, roll and freeze your dough for 10-15 minutes. Most doughs will harden enough to slice into perfectly uniform slices, and the freezing doesn’t really affect cooking time too much. (Watch your first batch, though.)" -- R.L. in Missouri

• If you are reattaching a button to shorts or pants, try using dental floss, the unwaxed kind. It’s much stronger, and can hold the button better than regular thread. Use a marker to darken it if the color is an issue.

• "Shaving cream can be used as a spot remover for many carpets. Use only a small amount, and follow up with a damp cloth." -- D.L. in New Brunswick, Canada

• "To prevent a skin from forming on the top of a can of leftover paint, you can inflate a balloon and stick it in the can, cut a piece of wax paper to fit or store the can inverted, so that the skin will form on the bottom and stay there when you flip it." -- W.B. in Alabama

Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.