The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Wednesday, March 2, 2011 Volume XIX, Number 174

did ya know?.

Did Ya Know?...The Carthage Humane Society is asking for donations of canned & dry dog food and old newspapers due to an unusual amount of puppies coming into the shelter. Call 358-6402

Did Ya Know?...Spare Cat Rescue will host "Tom Cat Tuesdays each Tuesday in march. Low-cost neuter clinic. Call 358-1300 for appointment.

today's laugh

A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the driver’s window and said, "Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?" The man said, "Well officer I don’t have a license, it was taken away for a DUI." The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?" So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it." The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!?" The man sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk." The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move, I am calling for backup." The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?" The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk." The man looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I’ll bet he said I was speeding too."


"Your cat is rushing about like mad." "I know," the man conceded. "Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements."


A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

Means Another Rich Mine.

The old Pleasant Valley tract just southwest of this city has been mined for twenty years or more but has not yet lost to productiveness.

In a new shaft being sunk by Webb City parties at a distance of about two hundred feet from the old original Allen shaft a splendid face of almost pure jack is now being opened up at a depth of 125 feet. A five foot face has now been uncovered and it is probably that the face is 25 to 30 feet in thickness.

Some fine chunks of jack taken from the shaft yesterday are on exhibition at the Bank of Carthage and anyone has only to see them to realize that they mean another rich producing mine for Carthage.

The land on which this shaft is being put down is owned by H. C. Cowgill and Frank Hill of this city and parties at Wichita. The Hudson Mining Co. has a lease on it, and the Webb City miners are sub lessees.

  Today's Feature

Body Found In Burning Vehicle.

Jasper County Sheriff’s Office Deputies were dispatched to the "43 Boat Access" at Hwy. 43 and CL 251 in Jasper County, at 9:00 a.m. yesterday to a "Vehicle on Fire" call.

When Deputies arrived they found the vehicle to be completely burned. A body was discovered inside the vehicle, but was so badly burned; they were not able to determine whether it was a male or female.

It was determined the vehicle was a 90’s model Chevrolet Caprice.

Oronogo Fire Department, Carl Junction Fire Department, Fire Marshall and the Jasper County Sheriff’s Office are investigating.

Stone’s Throw Performs "Doubt".

Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre announced its upcoming performance of "Doubt", Winner of the 2005 Pulitzer Prize, written by John Patrick Shanley and directed by Betsy Fleischaker.

Performances will be held at Stone’s Throw Dinner Theatre, 796 South Stone Lane, Carthage, MO on March 25, 26, 27 and April 1, 2 3, 2011.

Just Jake Talkin'

I suppose that when folks purchase those "unlimited" minutes package for their cell phones they figure the more they talk the cheaper it is.

I’ve gotten calls from friends just because they have minutes left at the end of the month just so they can use ‘em up. Don’t want ta waste ‘em so they call me. I’d guess you could put some type of peckin’ order on how early in the month ya get that call from a friend outa nowhere.

Apparently some feel that the best use of a cell phone is durin’ that time spent behind the wheel. From what I’ve seen, most haven’t mastered the task of doin’ both at the same time. The worst is ta pull up behind a cell talker at a stop sign and they can’t decide which way ta turn ‘till they hang up.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Sponsored by Carthage Printing

Weekly Columns


By JoAnn Derson

• "To whiten piano keys, clean with rubbing alcohol." -- O.E. in Pennsylvania (This is for the white keys only, of course.)

• Polish glassware scratches with toothpaste to get them back in shape.

• You’ve probably heard that charcoal briquettes are a great way to remove smells from an unused cooler or fridge. I just wanted to mention that you should use the kind that are just plain charcoal, not the kind that contain lighter fluid. They actually make it smell worse, I think.

• "Have arthritis in your hands? Make two punctures on opposite sides of a racquetball. Push a pen through and position it to where you can hold the ball while writing. Or better yet, have one of your kids do this for you. I did it for my father, and he loves it. It has improved his writing, and his hand doesn’t get tired so quickly." -- V.J. in Georgia

• Mildew can be removed from your bathroom tile using a mix of water, lemon juice and salt in equal parts. Mix up a couple of cups, apply to mildew areas with a rag, then scrub with an old toothbrush. Rinse well.

• When drilling holes in drywall or plaster, use this neat trick to catch the dust: Fold the opening flap back on an envelope, and tape the envelope, open, to the wall under where you are going to drill. The dust and pieces will fall right into the open envelope, which can be moved to the next spot and just thrown away when you’re done.


Copyright 2011, Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.