"Doctor, doctor!" said the
panic-stricken woman, "my husband was asleep with
his mouth open, and hes swallowed a mouse! What
shall I do?"
"Quite simple," said the
doctor calmly. "You just tie a lump of cheese to a
piece of string and lower it into your husbands
mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite haul it
"Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor.
Ill go around to the fishmonger straight away and
get a cods head."
"What do you want a cods
"Oh- I forgot to tell you.
Ive got to get the cat out first!"
One day a man is walking down the
street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog.
He goes over to the man and asks: does your dog
bite? the old man replies No never.
When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately
takes a snap at his hand. The man says I thought
you said your dog did not bite! I did replies
the old man, but this isnt my dog!
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Butcher & Chapman
Are Forging to the Front.
Two years ago Jay Butcher came to
Carthage from Ohio and began working for George Caffee,
who then operated a blacksmith shop at the corner of
Fifth and Grant streets. The February following, he
bought out his employer.
The shop is an imposing brick structure
42 X 50 feet in size, located at the corner of Grant and
Fifth streets, and is the largest and best equipped shop
in the city - the tools in use being the best and most
modern known to the trade. The proprietors make a
specialty of horse shoeing and carriage and wagon repair
work. Their handmade shoes are in great favor among
horsemen. They guarantee all their work to be strictly
first-class and their good workmanship and general
enterprise are building up for them a splendid class of
trade. Anyone wanting work in their line should give them
a call and be convinced.
The City Council Public Safety
Committee met at the Fire Department Monday
evening and heard a request to modify the
Citys ordinance that prohibits dogs from
being chained or tied. It was noted that Joplin
has exceptions to their ordinance that allows
dogs to be tethered for up to thirty minutes.
The Committee heard from Police
Chief Greg Dagnon and other citizens attending
the meeting and voted to leave the ordinance in
place as it was written.
The Committee also voted to
uphold Chief Dagnons decision to keep
Scharders Towing off the citys on call
list. The City ordinance relating to the tow list
prohibits using a tow company that has a
convicted felon as a driver. Bobbi Schrader
attended the meeting and presented employee
records documenting their eligibility and stated
the employee in question was now working at the
Schrader salvage yard, a separate business that
She said she personally
wasnt able to operate the tow business
because she was also a convicted felon. Her
mother is in charge of that operation.
Accordin to the Steel
Recycling Institute, the automobile is the
most recycled consumer product in the world.
They say that
recyclin just one car saves 2,500
pounds of iron ore, 1,400 pounds of coal and
120 pounds of limestone.
Now Ive not heard of
a "save the limestone"
organization, but Im sure there is a
finite amount layin around for future
Course the main
reason autos are recycled is because there is
a market for used steel. Plus it provides
enough material that is fairly easy to haul
to make it worth the trip.
The Carthage recyclin
center doesnt take automobiles, but it
does accept a lot of other stuff you have
around the house . For more info, call the
Engineerin Department at 237-7010.
This is some fact, but
Just Jake Talkin.
HERES A TIP
From L.D.W. in Illinois:
"When I have a recipe, I put all the
ingredients on the counter and as I use each one
I put it away. My daughter and daughter-in-law
like the idea, as they at one time or another
have forgotten an item." I like that one,
too, L.D.W. A well-prepared cook makes a
"To wrap a baby
gift in unforgettable gift wrap, circle the
announcement in the paper with a colorful marker,
then use the newsprint to wrap your package. It
has always gotten rave reviews from
recipients." -- R.L. in Virginia
Another reason to get
the newspaper: Crushed newspaper makes a great
rag for shining windows in your home and in the
car. No lint left behind!
soup, dont overlook instant potato mix.
Its perfect for making a thin broth into a
nice, thick stew sauce, and its pretty
cheap. It only takes a couple of
tablespoons." -- I.F. in Utah
Want delicious fried
chicken crust but not the dripping oil? Baste
chicken pieces with mayonnaise, then dredge in
crushed cracker crumbs mixed with a bit of flour.
Bake and enjoy.
If your plastic food
containers develop an unpleasant odor, never
fear: Scrub with a paste of baking soda and lemon
juice. Rinse and air dry.
Copyright 2011, Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.